Life and Death
by Emily Elizabeth
Summary: -:-COMPLETE!-:- When Nick's old girlfriend shows up and tells him he has a daughter, how will it affect his relationship with Sara? NS Of course!
1. Prologue

Title: Life and Death  
  
Author: Emily  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, or any of the characters. Although I do own Carrie and Lexi. Basically, if you recognize it, it isn't mine.  
  
Author's note: I'm new to all this, and it's my first WIP, so please don't be too hard on me. But all reviews are appreciated, good or bad, because I want to know how I'm doing. I won't continue if nobody's reading it.  
  
Chapter One: Prologue  
  
Nick Stokes rushed into the hospital with a look of worry and fear etched across his handsome face. Glancing around the room, he spied the person he was looking for. He walked up to a little girl of about seven years and sat down next to her. She was silently sobbing into a rag doll but looked up when he entered the room.  
  
"It'll be okay, Lex. Everything's going to be okay." At that, she turned to face him, her tiny hands wiping her eyes.  
  
"No it won't. Daddy, I don't want Mommy to go yet." She looked up at him, her big chocolate-brown eyes breaking his heart in two.  
  
"Couldn't you ask God to let her stay for a little longer?" Her request startled him. They had talked about this. She knew that there was nothing any of them could do when the time finally came. Which, inevitably, it had, but it seemed all too soon.  
  
"Come here, shortcake." He pulled her onto his lap and she wrapped her tiny arms around his shoulders. "You know I can't do that, sweetie." He hated that feeling of such helplessness. That feeling of wishing so hard to be able to soothe his baby girl, his little angel, and knowing that all the wishes in the world would never amount to anything. Carrie was going to die, and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it.  
  
As his daughter cried into his shoulder, he thought about the events that brought him here. It had been six months since the whole ordeal began, but it still felt just like yesterday.  
A.N- please read and review! 


	2. Lexi

See chapter one for disclaimer.  
  
Chapter Two: Lexi  
  
"Nick, I'm leaving now. Anything you want me to pick up?" Sara Sidle was standing in the doorway of the apartment that she and Nick shared; ready to leave to go grocery shopping.  
  
"Coffee. We're just about out," he called to her from their bedroom.  
  
"Okay." She grabbed the keys to the Tahoe as Nick walked out of the bedroom clad in only a pair of jeans, rubbing his still-wet hair with a towel.  
  
"Thanks," he leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you." Another kiss. "Bye."  
  
She smiled, "Bye. Love you, too." She shut the door and walked out to her truck, just as a sleek, black Jetta parked across the street. As she pulled away, she didn't notice the woman or the child that got out of the car and head toward the apartment complex, nor did she foresee the events that would turn her life upside down.  
  
* * *  
  
Nick was making himself breakfast when he heard the doorbell. He turned down the heat on the griddle and pulled a tee-shirt over his head as he walked toward the door. He opened it, and was extremely surprised at the person who stood before him, well, rather, the people that stood before him, although he didn't recognize the little girl.  
  
"Carrie?!" he exclaimed incredulously, slinging a towel over his shoulder, "What are you doing here?" He was more than a little shocked to find his ex- girlfriend standing in his hallway.  
  
"Hey, Nick," She greeted him in a soft tone, "Actually I need to talk to you about something. Can we come in?" She looked nervous and was gripping the little girl's hand tightly.  
  
"Of course. Please, make yourselves at home." He stepped to the side to let them in and led them to the couch.  
  
"I was just making some breakfast. Do either of you want anything?" He was anxious to find out more details about Carrie's impromptu visit and was even more anxious to find out who the child was, but he didn't want to seem rude.  
  
"We already ate, but thanks." The little girl tugged on Carrie's sleeve and whispered something into her ear.  
  
"Of course, honey." She said, in response to the girl's question.  
  
"Nick, I don't think you've been formally introduced to my daughter. This is Alexandra Diana Barnes. Lexi, this is Nick."  
  
"Hello, Alexandra." The mystery child finally had a name.  
  
"Lexi. Call me Lexi. Everybody does. Alexandra's too long." Lexi looked up at him with a somewhat fearful expression, as if she would be reprimanded for correcting him. Instead he smiled.  
  
"Well then, Lexi, it's a pleasure to meet you." He held his hand out to her, and she tentatively shook it, before turning to look once again pleadingly at her mother.  
  
"Oh, right. Sorry Lex." She smiled, "Nick, Lexi wants to know if she could use your bathroom." He realized that she had been fidgeting in her seat for a while, and smiled at her.  
  
"Yeah. It's right down the hall. Do you want me to show you?" But she had already popped up off the sofa and was racing toward the bathroom door.  
  
"That's okay. I can find it!" She called out. "Thanks, though!" Nick resettled himself on the couch, and waited for Carrie to speak. She didn't.  
  
"So, uh, how have you been?" Nick broke the uncomfortable silence that had settled around the two.  
  
"Not so good. Actually, that's kinda why I'm here." She avoided making eye contact with him, and instead concentrated on a hangnail on her index finger.  
  
"Why? What's wrong?" Something wasn't right; he just wished he knew what it was.  
  
"This is really hard for me, so I'm just going to come out and say it." Her brow was furrowed, and she kept clenching and unclenching her hands, in an effort to calm herself down. "I have cancer." This time she looked right at him, her blue-green eyes boring into his, her voice never faltering for a second. He was taken aback by her change in attitude.  
  
"Oh my God. Carrie, I'm so sorry." He understood how troubled she must have been, but what he didn't understand was why she came to him.  
  
"Don't be. Please. The last thing I need right now is a pity party. I've been through all the chemo and radiation already, but it hasn't helped. They gave me six months. Well, around there." She looked back at him to gauge his reaction. What she saw was worry and fear.  
  
"But can't they do anything? Can't you try it again?" He couldn't believe his ears. Carrie had always been so strong. So resilient. Nothing could ever keep her down. 'Except you,' he thought to himself. And now she was going to die.  
  
"I could, I suppose, but I don't want to. I just want to spend my last days with my daughter, with Lexi. But, Nick, I need to know that she'll be taken care of when I'm gone. I need to know that you'll take care of her." Her eyes looked into his, begging him to say yes.  
  
"Why me? I mean, we broke up a long time ago, and it wasn't all that happy of a good-bye either." He winced at the bad memories that were resurfacing with Carrie's visit. "Why me? Don't you have anybody else you'd trust her life with more? What about your parents? What about her father?  
  
"Because, Nick, you are her father."  
  
TBC.  
  
  
  
A.N- Well, what do you guys think so far? I should have chapter three up in a few days- I have it written, it just has to be beta'd. Please R&R! 


	3. Drinks and Waitresses

Author's Note: Okay, I have a bunch of thank you's in this chapter. First off, thank you to all that reviewed. Moose, hyperchick88, RegFrankieFan, Desirae, Sylphide, Angelic Little Angel, MissyJane, CSIRMT, Pagan, Drvvh, Kiki, and Erin, thank you so much! For those of you that said you wanted to see more of Sara's reaction, I apologize. My original intent for this chapter was to have more of both Sara and Nick's feelings on the subject, but that didn't work out. But I promise- the next few chapters will get into that more. Also, I want to thank LissaMarie, my wonderful beta. Thank you so much, Lissa! And, last but not least, I want to thank my friends for their input on this story. You guys are the greatest! So Erin, Danielle, Kiki, Kat, and even Samby and Emily and Bree, who don't even watch CSI, but have helped me so much with this story, this is dedicated to you. Mwah! Also, I don't think I'll be able to update until Christmas, because all of my teachers are trying to squeeze everything in before break, so I'm swamped with work. But I promise that whenever I have time, I'll work on this. Okay, that said, on with the story ~Emily  
  
********************************  
  
  
  
See chapter 1 for disclaimer  
  
Sara pulled into the driveway and walked up to the apartment, struggling to carry three bags full of food. She fished her keys out of her purse and opened the door, nearly dropping one of the bags.  
  
"Nick, could you give me a-" she cut herself off when she noticed the blonde woman on the couch.  
  
"Oh, hi. Sorry, Nick. I didn't realize we had company." She looked at him quizzically, and it was only then that she noticed that he looked extremely shaken and his eyes were red and glistening.  
  
"Have you been crying?" She placed the grocery bags on the floor and sat down next to him. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong," he said quickly, "Sara, this is Carrie, an- old friend. And Carrie, this is Sara, my, uh. my," What was Sara to him? Girlfriend? No, girlfriend was something you said in high school. Lover? No, lover made it sound like they were sneaking around. Partner? No, partner was too formal.  
  
"My, uh, we live together."  
  
"Oh. You're roommates?" she asked sincerely.  
  
"Not exactly," he had failed to supply Carrie with the fact that Sara was a part of his life.  
  
"Then, you two are in a relationship?" Carrie asked, hoping for a negative response, although she already knew the answer.  
  
"Yeah. What is this? Twenty questions?" Sara snapped. She had no idea who this Carrie woman was, or what she did to upset Nick so much, even though he claimed he was fine.  
  
Carrie ignored her. "Nick, you didn't mention her." She looked worried that this new element would cause a serious change of plans for her.  
  
"I'm sorry. I guess it just slipped my mind that this would affect her, too." He couldn't believe how stupid he had been to forget Sara. He was still in a state of shock himself, and he wasn't thinking clearly.  
  
"Would someone mind telling me what's going on? Nick?" Sara was becoming impatient.  
  
Nick looked at her, and then at Carrie, before resting his eyes finally on Sara. "I, uh," He didn't know how to begin. Seeing his discomfort, Carrie spoke up.  
  
"Actually, Nick, I think I'd better go, so you can talk to Sara alone. You need some time to let it all sink in anyway. Let me just get Lexi, and we'll be on our way." She stood up to retrieve her daughter from the kitchen, where they had sent her to color while Nick and Carrie talked things through. She already knew that Nick was her father, although she didn't really understand why he had never made an appearance in her life before. She didn't really need to understand that anyway. Not yet, at least. Losing one parent and gaining another all at the same time was traumatic enough, especially for a six year-old girl.  
  
"Lexi? Who's Lexi?" Now Sara was very confused.  
  
"Lexi is Carrie's daughter." How much he wanted to say his daughter. He had only met his child an hour before, but he was already becoming very attached to her. Although the premise of fatherhood was overwhelming, he was sure he could handle it--With Sara's help. He added mentally. He knew he would need her full support to make it all work out.  
  
Carrie walked out of the kitchen with Lexi in tow. She grabbed their coats as Lexi told Nick good-bye. She climbed onto his lap and gave him a hug.  
  
"Bye Daddy," she whispered in his ear. She looked up at him to see if he was okay with what she said. She was relieved when he smiled.  
  
"Bye, sweetie." She gave him another hug, to which he held on to her tightly. He couldn't wait to get to know his daughter more.  
  
Sara coughed, reminding Nick that she was in the room. He let go of Lexi and she bounced of to her mother.  
  
"Next time we come over, do you think we could go to the park? I saw one when we were driving here, and it had a really big slide. And a sea-saw. Not many parks have sea-saws anymore. But I love them! I wish there were more sea-saws and less of those plastic jungle gym things. Those are stupid," she paused a moment to catch her breath, "So, do you think we could go?"  
  
"Sure." Although she was very shy when they first arrived, once she warmed up to Nick, Lexi proved to be a very talkative young girl.  
  
"Cool!" she grinned at him, "Bye!" With that she ran into the hallway where her mother was waiting.  
  
"You mind telling me what that was all about?" Sara asked him as she brought two of the bags into the kitchen. Nick followed her, grabbing the remaining bag.  
  
"I think you'd better sit down," he led her to one of the chairs at the table, and then sat down in the chair across from her.  
  
"Where should I begin?"  
  
"The beginning is always a good place to start," she took his hand in hers and gave him a reassuring smile, letting him know that she was ready for whatever he was going to say.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it is," he took a breath and proceeded to tell her the story of how he came to know Carrie.  
  
"I met Carrie in Dallas. Her dad was my boss at the police department there. I met her at the hospital one time when he got shot on the job. We all felt guilty about it, even thought it was none of our faults. We each took turns coming to visit him every day, so he wouldn't get lonely. Well, the day I went to see him also happened to be the day that Carrie went to see him. She had been away, so she came home to find out that her dad had been shot. I was sitting there, chatting with Dave, her dad, when Carrie came in, completely distraught. She felt like it was her fault, even though she wouldn't have been able to stop it. Anyway, we finally got her to calm down, and Dave asked me to take her out for coffee, so he could rest. We hit it off right away- we spent the whole day together. That was only the first of many dates. We fell in love, and eventually moved in together. We were so happy. Then one day she went to LA for the weekend with her friends. So me and a bunch of guys from work went to this bar for a night out. There was this waitress who kept hitting on me and buying be drinks. It started out as innocent flirting, but then one thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was taking her back to my place. I was carrying her into the bedroom, clothes flying everywhere, and when I opened the door, there was Carrie, waiting for me. She had come home early- as a surprise. I can still see the look on her face when I walked into that room. She looked so hurt, so ashamed. She just walked out the door, and I never saw her again. Not until today. I got a call the next morning from Dave. He said not to bother coming into work that day because I was fired. That was the only time I ever cheated on any woman in my life. And it cost me my relationship with her. I wish I could have blamed it on the booze, but I was fully aware of what I was doing. I might have been a little tipsy, but I still knew what was going on."  
  
Sara looked at him, waiting for him to continue. Seeing that he was still lost in his memories, she took the initiative to probe a little.  
  
"That's when you came to Vegas?"  
  
"Yeah. I came at first just for a vacation, to get away from it all, but I decided to stay."  
  
"So why was she here today?" she questioned.  
  
"Carrie's sick. Really sick. She has cancer, and the doctors only gave her six months to live."  
  
"Nicky, I'm so sorry." She squeezed his hand and moved her chair closer to his.  
  
"Yeah, well, that's not it. After I left, Carrie began to piece her life back together. But then she found out that she was pregnant."  
  
"It was your baby?" she asked, shocked.  
  
"Yeah. She never told me, so I had no idea," He looked at Sara, hoping she would understand. He would never want her to think less of him because she thought he would abandon his child if he knew about it. But now she was deep in thought.  
  
"Then, that means."  
  
"Lexi is my daughter."  
  
TBC.  
  
A/N~ Please review! Let me know what you think, and what you want to see happen. 


	4. His Daughter

Title: Life and Death  
  
Chapter 4: Questions  
  
Author: Emily  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, I still don't own them  
  
Author's Notes: I apologize for the lack of updates. I hate it when I read a story and there are so many unanswered questions, so I began thinking about how I was going to answer the questions that came up with this story. One thought led to another, and pretty soon I had a completely different story. So this is going in a totally different direction than planned, and I think that this will be better than my original storyline. So I wanted to map out how I wanted everything to go before I wrote this chapter. The cons to that are that you had to wait longer for this one, the pros are that you will probably get the other chapters more quickly. Also, to the reviewer who asked for Sara to get mad, (I forget who it was, because I accidentally deleted the reviews when I changed the chapter- I had uploaded the wrong version- the unbeta'd version) Of course Sara has to get mad- what fun is writing a fic like this if you can't get Sara a little pissed off? lol Okay, enough rambling- on with the story!~  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I don't believe it," Sara whispered, finally coming out of her stunned silence due to Nick's revelation.  
  
"I know. It's unreal, but it's happening. But what can I do? She's my daughter." He rose and walked over to Sara's chair, placing his hand on her shoulders.  
  
"No," she said, shaking off his touch and moving across the room to stand at the counter, her back to him, "No," she turned to face him, "What I don't believe is that you're just accepting all of this- no questions asked! I mean, dammit Nick! You haven't seen this woman in over six years. Six Years! And then she comes waltzing in here, tells you that you have a daughter, and that now you're responsible for her. I think that's a little strange, don't you?"  
  
"Sara, I know there are a lot of unanswered questions, and I know that this is all really sudden, but Lexi is my daughter, and I can't just abandon her."  
  
"And that's another thing. How do you know she's your daughter? Just because-"  
  
"Sara stop! Listen to me-"  
  
"No, you listen to me, Nick," she was yelling now, "For all you know, you're not even Lexi's father. And just because Kerry or whatever her name is-"  
  
"Carrie"  
  
"Whatever. Just because Carrie says she's your daughter doesn't mean she is. And even if she is your daughter, why is she showing up now? Yeah, I know, she's terminally ill, and she wants you to take Lexi," she said in response to the sharp look he gave her, "but why now? Why wouldn't she have contacted you when she found out she was pregnant? I mean, she could have gotten child support at the very least. So now, after all these years, she comes in here with her sob story and expects us to just go with the flow. Sorry, Nick, but I don't buy it." Sara had begun to pace the length of the room, and, realizing her actions, stopped to stand expectantly before Nick.  
  
"Sara, you're being unreasonable. I know there are a lot of things that we have to deal with, but we can deal with them together. And I trust Carrie. I know she wouldn't lie about something like this."  
  
"Nick, all I'm saying is that you can't be sure. At least have a paternity test done, that way we can know once and for all if she's yours or not. Greg can do it in the lab- it'll be easy."  
  
"I'm not having a paternity test. She has my eyes, Sara. She's mine; I can feel it."  
  
"Nick, she doesn't have your eyes. She has brown eyes. So does Carrie. So do I. So does 78% of America."  
  
"It figures," he muttered under his breath.  
  
"What does?" she snapped.  
  
"That you would know how many people have brown eyes." He instantly regretted his words when her eyes shot daggers at him.  
  
"I don't have to put up with this," she grabbed her keys from the table and reached for her jacket, "I'll see you later."  
  
"Sara, wait!" he called after her. But she was already gone.  
  
"Damn."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Nick slammed the door to his Tahoe. He was angry. Very angry. Sara was being so insensitive. Did she think he didn't have questions? He did. Did she think he wasn't upset because Carrie didn't tell him about Lexi when she found out? He was. Did she think he was going to take in his daughter, no questions asked? Damn straight. Lexi was his daughter, and nothing could change that. He remembered back to when he and Carrie broke up. He had been devastated. He remembered going to his parent's house on his way to the airport to say good-bye. His mother had told him that all things happened for a reason. That their destinies were already mapped out, and that you took what life gave you. At the time he doubted her words; he thought Carrie was his soul mate. Then came Sara. Once Sara became a part of his life, everything made sense. He knew that he was destined to be with her for the rest of his life. She was the one. The only thing he regretted was the way it ended for him and Carrie. With so much pain. Looking back, he realized that their relationship was falling apart before that night. He just didn't want to face reality at the time. He saw his life through rose-colored glasses, thinking that everything was perfect. But it wasn't. Now he realized that it couldn't have ended any other way. If it had, he would have been there when she found out about the baby, and then who knows what would have happened. But he probably would never have come to Vegas, and never would have met Sara. Nick couldn't imagine a life without Sara. She was his everything. He loved her. But he couldn't abandon his daughter. Not when she needed him the most.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sara slammed the door to the Tahoe. She was angry. Very angry. Nick was being so irrational. Didn't he have questions? She did. Wasn't he upset with Carrie? She was. Didn't he realize that she would take in his child in a heartbeat? She would. But only if she was sure it was his. Which they couldn't be sure of, not without a paternity test. Which he wouldn't agree to. Which she couldn't understand. If he was so sure Lexi was his, then why didn't he just make sure, why take the chance? A few years down the line Lexi could find out that Nick wasn't her dad, and then what would happen? What if her real father suddenly showed up and demanded custody? What would they do then? She could see how much Nick loved Lexi, and he only knew her for a few hours. What would happen in a couple of years, when he had really grown attached to her, if he lost her? She didn't want to think about it. No, it was better to just be sure in the beginning. Before people got hurt. She remembered when her parents took in Jessica, a foster child. Jessica wanted them to adopt her, but they couldn't. They couldn't afford another child without the money from the state. Jessica had been crushed. Sara could still remember the day she went to live with another family, the tears and the heartbreaks. She had been sixteen, and Jessica was only five. She vowed that day never to break a child's heart again. That was one of the reasons she and children didn't get along that well. If she stayed distant, she couldn't hurt them. Then there was little Brenda Collins. She tried to stay distant from Brenda, too, but failed. She remembered looking into Brenda's pain-filled eyes and feeling her heart breaking in two. Someone else had hurt Brenda, not Sara, but she still felt guilty. She never wanted to see that much pain in a child's eyes again. And she sure as hell didn't want to be the cause of it.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Okay. Assignments." Grissom glanced around the break room and knew that something wasn't right. For one thing, Nick and Sara were seated at opposite ends of the room, and hadn't said a word to each other. He had grown accustomed to seeing the two always cuddled up together on the leather couch, or stealing kisses in the locker room when they thought no one was looking. He hadn't seen them apart since they announced to everyone their relationship a few months back. Something must have happened. "Sara, you're with Catherine. Nick, Warrick, you're with me."  
  
The group stood to leave, and Grissom pulled Sara to the side, "Sara, I don't know what's going on with you and Nick, but it ends now. Don't let this affect your work."  
  
"Grissom, when have Nick or I ever let our relationship affect our work? Even when you put us both on the same cases, we never let it cause a problem. Why would it cause one now?" she said angrily, brushing past him to join Catherine in the hall.  
  
"What was that about?" Catherine asked.  
  
"I have no idea," she replied bitterly as the two walked into the parking lot.  
  
"Come on! Something obviously happened between you and Nick, so dish. No, wait, let me guess- he left the toilet seat up?" Catherine teased.  
  
"We just had a difference of opinions," she said cryptically.  
  
"Yeah? About what? Must have been something serious."  
  
"His daughter."  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Hey, man! Wait up!" Warrick ran to catch up to Nick, who had left the room as soon as Grissom finished giving out assignments and was heading to the Tahoe. "What's the rush?"  
  
"Nothing. I've just got a lot on my mind."  
  
"About Sara?"  
  
Nick looked at him curiously. "What about Sara?"  
  
"Oh man! Like everyone couldn't tell that you two had a fight. So what happened?" Warrick asked.  
  
"You remember that girl I told you about, Carrie? The one I broke up with before I came to Vegas?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. What happened? She show up?"  
  
"Yeah, and she brought me a present."  
  
"What?" he asked, confused.  
  
"My daughter."  
  
TBC.  
  
A/N~ Okay, what do you think? Now I'm begging for reviews. Pretty please with George Eads on top review? And if it's a good review I'll throw in Gary Dourdan. And if you tell me WHAT you like or don't like, you'll also get Eric Szmanda. I think that's a fair deal. g Also, Jessica is a character from a story that I've been toying around with for a while. I thought I'd introduce her in this story. And, to those who don't remember Brenda Collins ~coughDaniellecough~ she was the little girl in Blood Drops played by Dakota Fanning (Lucy in the movie I am Sam) Actually, I taught a workshop at my dance school and there was a little girl named Roxi who looked just like Dakota Fanning, and Lexi is based on her. (get it, Roxi, Lexi, ha ha- sorry, not funny) g So if you want a mental picture of Lexi, picture Brenda Collins with brown eyes. And I have no idea how many people have brown eyes. I spent three days looking- honest to god- for every free minute I had for three days I was trying to find out how many people have brown eyes. If anybody does know, please tell me, and I'll change it. So for now I'm using creative license to invent a number. So sue me. And I'm sorry if I offended all the brown eyed people in the country. I think that's about it. Oh yeah- Go Raiders!  
  
~Emily 


	5. Compromise

Title: Life and Death  
  
Chapter 5: Compromise  
  
Author: Emily  
  
Rating: PG, PG-13, I don't know. lol  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Archive: ask  
  
Author's Note: Thanks to everybody who reviewed chapter 4. I figured out the ancient, heavily guarded secret to get people to review- BRIBE THEM! lol   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Sara, wait!" Catherine called to her friend, who was heading toward the Tahoe.  
  
"We've got a crime scene to get to, Cath. We don't have time to wait." Sara said calmly, opening the door and preparing to enter the vehicle.  
  
"We'll make time," she said, and slammed the door shut again. "Don't think you can tell me something like that and then forget about it. Now tell me what happened. And who the hell is his daughter? I didn't even know he had a daughter."  
  
"Neither did he, apparently," Sara said wryly.  
  
"So what happened? How old is she? What's her name?" Catherine shot out questions rapidly.  
  
"Her name is Lexi and she's six years old."  
  
"Wow. Does she look like him?" Catherine asked.  
  
"Not really. She looks more like her mother. Nick thinks she has his eyes, but I don't see it. I didn't really get a good look at her. She and Carrie left right when I came in."  
  
"Carrie?"  
  
"Her mother. Nick's old girlfriend from Dallas. She said that she's dying and she wants Nick to take her, which I think is a load of crap."  
  
"Why? You don't think she's dying?"  
  
"No, I think she is- I mean, she looks terrible. Really skinny and pale. But there's something about her that just doesn't fit. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm going to find out." Sara stated, then added, "Can we go now?"  
  
"Yeah, but we're talking about this on the way."  
  
"Yes, mom." Sara kidded, before hopping into the truck.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Let me get this straight," Warrick said as he, Nick, and Grissom drove to the crime scene, "Carrie shows up, tells you that you have a daughter, that she's dying, and that now you have to take Lexi? And you're okay with that?"  
  
"What do you mean 'I'm okay with that'? You sound like Sara. She wants me to have a paternity test done," Nick said, annoyed.  
  
"Nick, that's a good idea. It would be foolish not to test that you're her biological father," Grissom added; the first thing he had to say in the conversation.  
  
"I don't believe that you guys are taking Sara's side in this!" Nick cried, "Look. I know Carrie. I know she wouldn't lie about something like this. That's just not her."  
  
"Nick, I know that you know her and we don't, but you still can't take any chances. Not just for your sake but for Lexi's. What happens if you find out in a few years, when Carrie is gone, that you're not her father? How will that affect her?" Grissom said, sharing Sara's concern.  
  
Nick sighed, "I don't know. I don't know, okay? But Sara is being really selfish. She's only thinking about herself. Well what about me? This is affecting me the most, and she's not being sympathetic at all."  
  
"Hold up," Warrick interjected, "Where do you get off saying that this is affecting you the most? This is affecting Sara just as much as you. Unless of course you're relationship isn't as serious as you've led us to believe."  
  
Nick took the bait. "Of course our relationship is serious! I love Sara. I'd do anything for her."  
  
"Then why won't you do this for her?" Warrick asked.  
  
"I just don't see the point, Warrick," Nick argued.  
  
"Nick, if you're so sure, then why not just test it anyway? At the least just to humor Sara. Prove her wrong, so to speak," Warrick kidded  
  
Nick smiled, "That would be a change. Sara being wrong. Never thought I'd live to see the day," he laughed. "I'll think about it. But now," he said as they pulled up to their crime scene, "we've got work to do."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Once Sara and Catherine were finished processing the scene, where a woman had been murdered by her husband, who had already confessed, they headed back to the lab.  
  
"I think that was the easiest case I've ever had," Sara said, pouring herself a cup of coffee, "Want some?" she asked, motioning to the pot.  
  
"No thanks," Catherine said, "I'll never get to sleep."  
  
"Suit yourself." Sara settled herself onto the couch and took a sip of the steaming hot liquid.  
  
"So what are you going to do?" Catherine asked, referring to her situation with Nick and Lexi.  
  
"What can I do? I have to try and convince him to get tested."  
  
"Do you think he will?"  
  
"I hope so. I just don't know why he's so fervidly against it."  
  
Catherine thought about this for a moment before responding, "Maybe he's afraid it will be negative."  
  
"But why? That's what I don't understand. It's not like he's known her forever. He just met her tonight for Christ's sake!"  
  
"But think about it," Catherine explained, "If Lexi's not his, then that means that she was cheating on him. You said that they broke it off because he cheated on her, right?"  
  
Sara nodded.  
  
"Well, in his eyes, Carrie is this do-no-wrong-Mother-Theresa-saint thing, and now she's dying, so maybe he's afraid of shattering that image."  
  
"I don't know. That doesn't sound like Nick," Sara said.  
  
"I'm just putting it out there; I didn't say that was the reason. But when you find out why he's acting that way, tell me. I want to know."  
  
"You've got a deal," Sara said, and lifted her coffee mug for effect. It was then that Nick walked in with Grissom and Warrick.  
  
Nick looked at Sara tentatively before speaking. "Uh, Sara, I think we need to talk."  
  
"Yeah, I think we do," she said softly, "Grissom, shift's almost over, do you think me and Nick could leave?"  
  
"Yeah, that's fine. Go home. Talk."  
  
"Thanks, Griss." Sara gave Nick a small smile and followed him out of the break room and into the hallway.  
  
"Sara, I'm sorry about all this. You shouldn't have to be dragged into this. It's between Carrie and me."  
  
"No, Nick. That's what I'm saying. It's not just between you and Carrie. If it's affecting your life, it's affecting mine. Because you're a part of my life. I'm sorry if you think I'm being unreasonable, but I really think you should have a paternity test. I don't understand why you're against it." By now they were in the parking lot, and Nick opened the passenger door to the Tahoe for Sara before crossing to the other side of the vehicle and getting in himself.  
  
"I know. I don't know why either. It's just that the thought of it makes me turn away. I think we should just both get to know Lexi some more before we make any decisions, including getting tested."  
  
"Okay. We'll put everything on hold for a while until we get to know both Lexi and Carrie some more," she compromised.  
  
"Okay." He kissed her forehead and cupped her face with his hands. "I love you. You know that, don't you? And this isn't going to change anything. I promise."  
  
"No, Nick, things will change. But we'll make sure they change for the better. And I love you, too." She kissed him softly before pulling away. "Come on. Let's go home."  
  
A/N~ **Next chapter- more Lexi and Carrie, interaction between Carrie and Sara, and the team will meet Lexi**  
  
Please review! George, Gary, and Eric have been shipped first class to those wonderful people who chose to review. I played with George a little before shipping him, so if he shows up covered in chocolate sauce and whipped cream, don't sue the postal workers, please. They've been very cooperative. g I must ask that you send them to the next reviewer once you're done playing, so we can all have an equal turn. What's fair is fair. Also, I have to return them soon because apparently CBS wants them back. Which would make sense, because what else would we write about? :-D If you review, I'll be sure to put your name on the mailing list.  
  
~Emily 


	6. Just a Walk in the Park

Title: Life and Death

Chapter 6: Just a Walk in the Park

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Yes, that's right, they're MINE! ALL MINE!!! ::motions to CBS executives tied up in corner to be quiet::: Please ignore the cries from those gentleman in the corner. They don't know what they're talking about. CSI doesn't belong to them; it belongs to ME! They're all nuts. Yeah, that's it, nuts…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Carrie Barnes looked down at her sleeping daughter and brushed a strand of short blonde hair off her face. She looked so angelic and peaceful when she slept. After pulling the blankets back over her and placing Nala, Lexi's rag doll, who had mysteriously made her way to the floor, by her side, Carrie made her way out of the room and quietly closed the door behind her, careful not to wake Lexi.

She sat down at the desk that she had set up in the living room and looked up at a photograph hanging on the wall. She remembered the day the photo had been taken. She and Lexi had gone to the park on Lexi's sixth birthday to celebrate. Carrie was seated on the swing, with Lexi on her lap. Carrie was looking down at Lexi, and Lexi was looking up at her mother. Both were laughing, and didn't notice the photographer who snapped the photo. 'Too good of a shot to pass up,' he had said, and took down their address so he could send them the picture when he had it developed. Carrie never expected to hear from him, but a few days later, there it was in her mailbox- a beautiful 8 by 10 portrait of mother and daughter. It was her favorite.

Now, looking at the photo, she wondered if she would be there to see Lexi's seventh birthday. It was only a few months away, and she knew that time was running out for her. Everything had to be settled before she left the earth, and it was up to her to see to it that things went as planned, for both her and Lexi. Picking up the phone, she dialed Nick's number.

~*~*~

Nick rolled over on his side and reached for the woman asleep next to him. She opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey yourself, sleeping beauty," he said, reaching in for a kiss, "'Morning"

"Umm," she murmured, returning the kiss, "'morning."

"Damn," Nick cursed as the phone rang, "Hold that thought."

"Hello?" he said, irritated.

"Nick? It's Carrie. Did I wake you up? I'm sorry," she apologized.

"No, Carrie, it's fine. I was already up," he looked over at Sara and smiled apologetically. 'I'm going back to sleep' she mouthed to him, and rolled back over so that her back was to Nick.

"What's up?" he asked, sinking back into the pillows, realizing his chances for a romantic morning had been shattered.

"Uh, actually, I was wondering if you talked to Sara yet."

"Yeah, I did."

"Oh." A pause. "Well, what happened?"

"What do you think happened? She freaked, but it's okay now. We worked things out." He brought Sara's hand to his lips and kissed it, and she turned back around to face him, giving him a small smile.

"Well, that's good. Uh, Lexi couldn't stop talking about that playground on the ride home. It's kind of a passion of hers- playgrounds and parks. Ever since she was little, she's been crazy about them," she paused, realizing she was rambling. Since when had talking to Nick become hard? 'Since you broke up,' he inner voice told her. "Uh, so I was wondering if you and Sara wanted to come with us today? To the park, I mean." 

"Yeah, hold on, let me just ask Sara." 

"Ask me what?" she queried, sitting up.

"Carrie wants us to go to the park today to spend some time getting to know Lexi."

"Sure. The sooner we get to know her, the sooner we get her tested." She said jokingly.

"Sara…" he warned.

"I'm kidding, Nicky," she kissed him before getting up out of bed and heading for the shower, "tell her we'd love to."

"Carrie? We'd love to," he said.

"Great. So we'll see you at one?" she asked.

"Yeah. Bye." He hung up the phone and, throwing off the covers, jumped out of bed to join Sara.

~*~*~

Nick and Sara drove to the playground and parked across the street. 

"You ready?" Nick asked, looking over at Sara.

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

"If you feel uncomfortable, just tell me and-"

"Nick," she cut him off. "I said I'll be fine." She gave him a reassuring smile and the couple walked out of the Tahoe and across the street. Even before they arrived at the gate, they could hear Lexi's squeals.

"Mommy, Mommy! They're here!" The little girl ran across the grass to meet Nick and Sara, leaving her mother to slowly catch up.

"Hey, Lexi!" Nick bent down to scoop Lexi up in a hug. "You left these at my house," he said, handing her the pictures she had drawn the day before.

"Thanks!" she exclaimed, and took one out of the middle of the pile. "This is for you. It's a picture of Nala, my dolly. Poppy bought it for me when I was a baby, but he's dead now," she said sadly, before brightening up again. "I want you to have this one, because Mommy said you want to know all about me, so first you have to learn about Nala. Mommy made me leave her home, 'cuz she said she would get dirty. So you get to meet her when you come and visit us. You're going to come and visit us, right? 'Cuz I have lots of other toys for you to meet, and they might not all fit in the car, and then you'll never get to meet them…" The little girl talked on and on as she led her father across the playground to the swings.

"Hi. We kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I'm Sara Sidle." She extended her hand and Carrie shook it.

"Carrie Barnes. It's nice to meet you. I agree, yesterday was a little crazy. Do you mind if we sit down? I've been trying to keep up with Lexi all morning. She's so excited to get to know Nick. She's really never had a father figure in her life."

"What about, what did she call him, 'Poppy?'" Sara asked as the two made their way to a wooden park bench.

"Oh. That's my father. He died when Lexi was a year old. He loved her so much; she was his only grandchild. And my mother died when I was fifteen, so for my whole life it was just dad and me. Now it's just me and Lexi," she finished sadly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"Don't be. You have a right to ask questions. If you don't mind my asking, how do you feel about all of this? I know it must be a shock, and you have every right to be angry. Hell, I'd be pretty upset too if I were in your shoes."

"I'm not really upset. Well, not anymore. Nick and I talked things through last night, and we came to a mutual agreement to take things slow until we get to know Lexi more. Until then, I'm not passing judgment," Sara stated, and left it at that. "If you don't mind my asking, what exactly... you know...what kind of cancer do you have?"

"Of course I don't mind you asking. I guess I should have told you that. 'Cancer' is so vague. I have breast cancer."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. The thing I regret the most is that we didn't catch it until it was in the later stages. I blame myself for that. I never had mammograms or anything like that, mainly because I thought I didn't need them. I thought I was invincible. Not to mention that my family doesn't have a history of breast cancer, so I thought I didn't have to worry. Stupid, stupid, stupid…" She was talking to herself now, and Sara felt for this woman whose life was being torn from her just because she thought that nothing could ever happen to her. She saw this every day. People who lived in a bubble and thought nothing bad would ever happen to them. Then they ended up dead.

An awkward silence settled around the two, and Sara attempted to break it, "He's so good with her," she commented, watching Nick chase Lexi around the playground, and hearing her joyful screams and giggles when he scooped her off the ground.

"Yes, he is," Carrie said. "He'll make a good dad."

"I know he will," Sara said, and rose when she saw Nick and Lexi walking toward the bench where she and Carrie were sitting. "You two look like you're having fun."

"We are!" Lexi exclaimed. "Who are you, again?"

Sara laughed, "I'm Sara."

"Oh yeah. You were at my daddy's house yesterday, right? I saw you there. Are you my daddy's girlfriend? That's what mommy said. Mommy said-"

"Okay, young lady. Take a breath. You're making everyone's head spin with all that talking," Carrie admonished.

Lexi took a deep breath, "Mommy said that you live with my daddy. But she said you aren't married. Why don't you want to marry my daddy? He's really fun-"

"O-kay! That's enough," Carrie said, embarrassed. "Lexi, I think we've had enough fun for one day, and Mommy's getting tired, so its time to go home. Tell Daddy and Sara good-bye."

"Bye Daddy!" she gave him a big hug. "Next time, remember to bring Lindsay, so we can go on the seesaw."

"Lindsay?" Carrie questioned.

Sara answered her, "Lindsay is our friend Catherine's daughter. She's only a little bit older than Lexi. We work with Catherine."

"Yeah. I told Lexi that next time we come to the park we could maybe bring Lindsay, so she could go on the seesaw," Nick explained. "I hope that's not a problem."

"Why would it be a problem? If Catherine and Lindsay are a part of your life, they're going to be a part of Lexi's life, so she should get to know them as soon as possible. Come on Lexi, get your things. And don't forget to say good-bye to Sara."

Lexi grabbed her lightweight jacket and the pictures that Nick had brought her and walked up to Sara. "Bye Sara!" she motioned to Sara to bend down, "Next time we can talk. But don't tell Mommy, 'cuz she'll get mad," she whispered into her ear.

Sara smiled. "My lips are sealed." She made a gesture zipping her lips and throwing away the key. "Bye sweetie." Sara stood up and walked over to Nick as Carrie and Lexi exited the park and walked down the street where Carrie's car was waiting.

"She's cute," Sara said.

"I know; she's adorable. And she has so much energy- it's amazing. I've never seen someone talk as much as she does." He took her hand and they walked out of the park and across the street to the Tahoe.

"You're really good with her."

"Well, I've had a lot of experience."

Sara stopped in her tracks. "Please, don't tell me you've got another kid somewhere that I don't know about. One I can handle. Two? That's a little much."

Nick laughed. "I meant my nieces and nephews. I'm their favorite uncle, you know."

"I'm sure," she said teasingly.

"What? I am," he defended himself.

"Come on, Uncle Nicky. We've got to be at work in an hour."

"Okay." He led her to the truck and stopped at the door. "Thank you. For coming today, I mean. It meant a lot to me."

"Nick, you have to remember that this isn't all about you. Lexi's going to be just as much a part of my life as she is yours. We're in this together."

"I love you." He leaned in to kiss her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you, too."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N~ Not too many reviews. ~tear~ Are you guys still enjoying this? I promise- it's going to get much better. It's just taking longer than I thought to get the storyline going. I don't know what else I can offer you. The guys worked last time…hmmm… CHOCOLATE! Yes, that's it. Chocolate. It's the next best thing to George, Gary, and Eric. So pretty please, with George, Gary, Eric, and CHOCOLATE on top review? Pleeeeeeze???

Also~ I don't know when I'll have chapter 7 up. I would have liked to had it at least started by now, but there was a death in the family and I've been preoccupied with that lately. But I'll try to have it up by next weekend sometime. I promise.

Also, Also~ I know I promised that the team would meet Lexi in this chapter, but things didn't work out like that. But that'll happen in the next chapter. I promise. (How're you liking all these empty promises? Huh? :-D) But I won't write it if you don't review. *hint, hint* I think that's about it.

~Emily


	7. Vampire

Disclaimer: I got in trouble for the whole holding-the-CBS-execs-hostage thing, so, now I must admit that I don't own them- never have, never will. ::as parole officer looks over shoulder:: And I will never try anything like that again- I swear, never, never, never…::laughs when parole officer walks away and takes out her to do list:: First, steal characters of CSI- done. Next, world domination…::laughs menacingly::  
  
Author's Note: I would really like to apologize for my severe lack of updating. I don't even want to THINK about how long its been since I last updated. So here is my top ten list of reasons why I haven't updated.

10. My dog ate my story  
9. I'd fallen and couldn't get up  
8. Munchkins from the Land of Oz kidnapped me and were holding me hostage  
7. I had amnesia, and couldn't remember to write  
6. A cult decided to use me as a human sacrifice, but thankfully I was saved, and they only had time to cut off my hands so I couldn't type.  
5. Crazy midget clowns grabbed me and showed me into their car, and I was just freed today.  
4. CSIADDICT-- after leaving me in suspense in 'The Burning Truth' she wrote more, and it would be unfair of me to ignore such a good story.  
3. Trace-Element-- all those chapters of 'Independence Day' for me to read  
2. Andorian Ice Princess- she just HAD to write another wonderful story  
And the number ONE reason why I haven't updated?  
1. I'm a lazy bum who doesn't deserve to live.

***

Lexi was very happy, Carrie could tell. She talked animatedly the whole ride home, about how much fun her daddy was, and how she couldn't wait to meet Lindsay, and how nice Sara was. It never ceased to amaze her how much a six year old could have to say. Ever since she said her first word, she would talk to anyone who would listen, chattering away about anything at all. While most mothers worried about their children starting kindergarten, Carrie had had no qualms about Lexi adjusting. Although Carrie loved her daughter's outgoing nature, it did cause some problems. When she started first grade, and received her first report card, the 'talks too much in class' box was checked off in red. Sometimes it made Carrie's head spin, but that was what made Lexi who she was, and she didn't think she could bear it if her daughter lost that quality. Lexi was a people-person if there ever was one. 

That's why Carrie was so sure that things would be okay for Lexi once she was gone. Nick adored kids, and Lexi obviously adored Nick, so there was nothing to worry about. She could see that he was falling in love with Lexi already, which was a plus for Carrie. It would be hard for him to say no to her if he loved her. She smiled. Things would work out just as she planned.  
  
"Did you know that, Mommy?"  
  
"Oh, sorry sweetie, Mommy wasn't listening." Carrie felt guilty for ignoring her daughter, especially when she had so little time left with her.  
  
"I said that Daddy is a vampire, just like on Buffy!"  
  
Carrie groaned. "First of all, little miss, I told you that I don't want you watching Buffy. Second of all, what makes you think that Daddy's a vampire?"  
  
"Daddy told me that he sleeps during the daytime and works at nighttime, so that means he's a vampire. And why can't I watch Buffy? Krista's mommy lets her watch Buffy," she complained.  
  
"Krista's mommy lets her do a lot of things that I don't think are appropriate. And just because Daddy works at night doesn't mean that he's a vampire. You know that there's no such thing as vampires anyway."  
  
"I know, but it's fun to pretend." She looked down at her hands, and then jumped up in her seat as a thought popped into her head. "Mommy?"  
  
"Yeah, Lex?" She looked back at her daughter through the rearview mirror.  
  
"Could I go to work with Daddy and Sara tomorrow? Daddy said it's okay if I come one day and meet everybody and I really, really want to go. Please Mommy, please, please, please can I go?" she whined.  
  
Carrie chuckled. "How could I say no to that face?" Lexi giggled. "But I have to make sure its okay with Daddy and Sara first."  
  
"Okay. Could I call and ask?"  
  
"Sure. But not now. Wait till later-you have to give them some time to themselves."  
  
"But they were by themselves all last night, and all morning," Lexi argued.  
  
"Lex…"  
  
"I know, I know-don't start," she said in resignation.  
  
"You got it. So, what'll it be: McDonald's or Burger King?" Carrie asked as they pulled up to the food court.  
  
"McDonald's!"  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sara looked over at Nick, who was seated across from her in the Tahoe. He was drumming on the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio, and smiling from ear to ear. She couldn't remember ever seeing him so happy. It was amazing the power one little girl held over somebody. Lexi already had Nick wrapped around her finger.   
  
Sara laughed at that thought.  
  
Nick looked over at her. "What's so funny?"  
  
"You," she said simply, trying to suppress her grin.  
  
"Me? What did I do?"  
  
"You're just too damn handsome for your own good," she said, and leaned over to peck him on the cheek.  
  
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."  
  
"You're too much," she said, laughing.  
  
Nick laughed with her, and took her hand in his. "Have I thanked you for coming today?"  
  
"Yes, numerous times."  
  
"Well, I'm saying it again: thank you. It really meant a lot to me." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.  
  
"Nick, I'm not going over this again. We're in this together, right?"  
  
"Right." He let go of her hand as they pulled into the parking lot, and stopped the car. He got out first and opened the door for Sara.  
  
"Who says chivalry is dead?" she asked, as he helped her out of the truck.   
  
They walked up to the door in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. They entered the apartment and Nick plopped down on the coach.  
  
"I'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?" Sara asked Nick, who was now lying down on the couch with his eyes closed.  
  
"A beer, thanks," he called to her.  
  
"She's nice," Sara called from the kitchen.  
  
"Lexi? Yeah, she's really sweet," he called back.  
  
"No, I meant Carrie," Sara said, carrying the drinks into the living room. "Scoot."  
  
He sat up so that Sara could sit down, and gladly accepted the offered drink. "Yeah, she's pretty nice. She can have her moments, though."  
  
Sara took a sip of her lemonade, which she had chosen over a beer. "What do you mean?"   
  
"It's just that sometimes she gets really weird, and freaks out over the smallest things," Nick said, taking a swig of the bottle.  
  
"What, like when she gets stressed? Everybody gets like that sometimes, Nick," Sara said.  
  
"No, I don't mean like that. I don't know. She just gets…weird."  
  
"You said that already," she pointed out.  
  
"I know. I just...don't know how to describe it. You know how I told you that our relationship was falling apart even before…that night?" Sara nodded. "Well, that was one of the reasons. She was really paranoid. My car broke down one day and I got a ride home from one of my female co-workers. Carrie flipped out. And it wasn't just once in a while. It was like she was just waiting for me to cheat on her. That's why it's ironic the way it ended."  
  
"That's odd," Sara said, sliding over on the couch so she was cuddled up next to Nick. "But I can't say I'm sorry that you two broke up."  
  
"Neither can I. We would have ended it anyway. And I can't imagine my life without you." He placed his drink on the coffee table and wrapped his arms around Sara. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.  
  
She turned around in his embrace and kissed him softly. "I love you, too"  
  
He smiled, and kissed her again. A few moments later, however, the couple was interrupted by the telephone ringing.  
  
"I'll get it," Sara said, untangling herself from Nick's arms. "Try to rest--you look exhausted, and we have to be at work in a couple of hours."  
  
"You're right, I am tired. I don't know why," he said.  
  
"You've had a lot to digest these past few days. You have every right." She picked up the empty glass and Killian's bottle and walked into to the kitchen. "Go to sleep--and that's an order."  
  
"Yes, ma'am," Nick drawled out, and, closing his eyes, he succumbed to his fatigue.  
  
Laughing, Sara answered the phone on its final ring. "Hello?"  
  
"Hi! Is my daddy there?" a little voice inquired.  
  
"Lexi, is that you?"  
  
"Yeah, who's this?"  
  
Sara laughed. "This is Sara. Remember me?"  
  
"Oh yeah!" Sara smiled. "You sound different on the phone. I had so much fun today, Sara. When we go back to the park with Lindsay, are you gonna come? I really, really want you to come, 'cuz you're really pretty and nice. And then you can meet my Nala, too."  
  
Sara laughed again. She was still amazed at how enthusiastic kids could get over the simplest things. People could really take a few pointers from children. "Well, I really, really want to come, too."  
  
"Cool!" After a short pause, she continued, "Is my daddy there?"  
  
Sara looked over the counter at Nick, who was now fast asleep on the couch. "Actually, sweetie, he's here, but he's asleep."  
  
"Oh." She sounded dismayed, but then perked up. "Well, I guess I can ask you, right?"  
  
"Of course. What did you want to ask me?"  
  
"My daddy told me that I could come to work with you guys some day to meet everybody, and Mommy has to go to the doctor tomorrow night, so she said that it was okay with her if it was okay with you so is it okay with you?"

"To come to work with us?" Sara clarified.

"Yeah.  Can I?  Pretty please, with sugar on top?" Lexi begged.

"I don't see why not," Sara answered, "Do you need us to pick you up?"  As she said it, she realized that she had no idea where Lexi and Carrie were staying.

"No, Mommy said she can drop me off.  My daddy gave her directions in case something happened." She paused. "Hold on, okay?"  After a moment of murmuring in the background, Sara heard Lexi's voice again.  "Mommy wants to talk to you."

Before Sara could say another word, Carrie was on the phone.  "Hi, Sara."

"Uh, hi Carrie.  What's up?"  Sara became a bit uncomfortable talking to Carrie.

"I just wanted to make sure that it's all right.  About taking Lexi to work with you, I mean."

"Of course.  We'd love to take her, and everyone there can't wait to meet her," Sara explained, picturing Catherine fawning over the little girl.

"Great.  Thank you so much, Sara.  It really means a lot to me."

"No problem.  Oh, and tell Lexi that she can bring her Nala." 

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N:  I really have to stop making promises.  I can never live up to them.  Even as I was writing this, I was planning on having Lexi meet everybody in this chapter.  But I'm just about to go out, and I know I won't be able to write anymore tonight, and probably not tomorrow (I'll be making PB&J sandwiches for the homeless all evening…seriously) so I decided to post what I had so far, and end the chapter there.  I realize that nothing really happened in this chapter, but I thought it was important to have everybody's thoughts.  If you hated this chapter, PLEASE TELL ME!  Then I won't write any more chapters like this.  Okay-- please review!

~Emily


	8. Meeting Nala

Author's Note~ First, I want to thank everyone who reviewed All Alone: Jo, Lia, stef, blithe, Melindotty, csichicagolove, :), and Kate. You guys rock! I wasn't sure about that story, but I got lots of great reviews--you guys are the best. Secondly--I tried to get this out ASAP, but of course you know how I am: lazy. Well, I have an excuse. I wasn't here all last week, so I couldn't write, and then I was concentrating on my other story to get that out of the way ASAP so I could continue to work on this. But this week I'm on break, so I'll work on this as much as possible. Also, I realize that this is starting to drag, so after this chapter I'm going to skip a few weeks, and cover things with flashbacks. I just had to get this chapter out of the way first, and then comes the good stuff. Okay- enough of my idiotic ramblings- on with the story!  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Are they here yet?" Nick asked, glancing out into the hallway. He was beginning to grow impatient, and the rest of the team was growing impatient with his constant fluttering about.  
  
"Nick, relax, they'll be here soon. They probably just got caught in traffic or something," Sara said calmly, and indicated to the seat next to her. Gaining no reaction from Nick, she sighed and walked up to him. "Chair. You. Sit." With that she shoved him forcibly onto the chair and took the seat next to him.   
  
Catherine laughed. "You tell 'im, Sara."  
  
Sara grinned, and took Nick's hand, intertwining her fingers with his. "There's nothing to worry about, Nick. Lexi can't wait to come meet everybody. She called back three times yesterday; I thought we were never going to get any sleep."  
  
"And we can't wait to meet Lexi, either," Catherine added. "In fact, after you called yesterday, I told Linds about Lexi, and she hasn't been able to stop talking about it ever since. I think Elizabeth is going to bring her by later."  
  
"Really? Your sister won't mind?" Sara asked, surprised that Catherine's sister would be willing to drive Lindsay over just to meet Lexi. Although really, it shouldn't have surprised her. After all, Elizabeth stayed with Lindsay almost every night while Catherine worked, so she must really love the kid.   
  
"Of course not," Catherine replied, "But I know how you feel Nick," she began, "I remember when I brought Lindsay to work for the first time. I was so nervous. But you have nothing to worry about. The way you and Sara have been raving about Lexi, I'm sure we'll all love her." She gave his hand a comforting squeeze.  
  
"Thanks, Cath," Nick said, thankful that he had such good friends. He knew that whatever happened with Lexi, his friends would be there to help him and Sara.   
  
"Hey, Nick, man, I think I found something that belongs to you." Nick heard Warrick's voice from the hallway.  
  
"What?" Before he could finish, Lexi bounded into the room. Her blonde hair was done up in two small pigtails, and she wore navy blue corduroy pants with a baby blue tee shirt that read "Princess" in sparkles.  
  
"Daddy!" She jumped up onto Nick's lap and wrapped her little arms around his neck, giving him a giant hug. She then hopped off his lap and went up to Sara, repeating the action. "Hi Sara!"  
  
"Hey, munchkin," Sara said, smiling at the little girl and returning the hug. "We've been waiting for you."  
  
"I've been waiting too! I've been waiting for like forever! I just kept thinking about it all day yesterday, and all night too, and I kept asking Mommy, 'Can we go yet, can we go yet?' and she kept saying, 'Not yet, Lex, not yet.' And then I was calling you, to make sure I was still coming, well, until Mommy said I shouldn't bother you anymore, but I did want to call again, because I've been so excited to come and meet everybody, and then guess what? Today came! And now I get to finally meet everybody who you were telling me about, like Lindsay. Lindsay is coming right? I hope she's coming, because I've been really looking forward to meeting her, because I haven't met anyone my own age yet, well, Lindsay is a little older than me, but she's close to my age, and-"  
  
"Whoa, cowgirl! Slow down, you're talking a mile a minute," Nick said, tousling her hair.  
  
"Daddy! You'll mess up my pigtails!" she whined.   
  
Nick laughed. "Sorry, shortcake. I didn't mean to mess up your hair. You look beautiful, by the way." She grinned, and Nick winked at her.  
  
"Thanks! Mommy did them for me. She said I had to look special today because I was going to meet your friends."  
  
Nick noticed Carrie for the first time. She was leaning against the doorway, observing the scene that had unfolded. "Hi, Carrie. This is Catherine, Warrick, and over there is Grissom."  
  
"Hi, I'm Carrie Barnes, it's nice to meet y'all." Carrie shook hands with each person, and then turned to Nick. "I hate to just drop her off and run, but I'm running late already, and-"  
  
"Don't worry about it. She'll be fine-- won't you Lex?" Nick looked across the room at Lexi, who was staring in awe across the hall to Greg's lab.   
  
"What?" She smiled sheepishly, realizing she had been caught daydreaming. "Of course, Mommy. Me and Daddy and Sara are gonna have lots of fun! And I promise to be good. I'll be really, really good. And I won't touch anything- cross my heart and hope to die." She looked solemnly at her mother, who was still wary about leaving her daughter.  
  
"Well. . . "  
  
"Mommy! Will you just go already! I already promised to be good," she said, putting her hands on her hips and giving her mother a stern look.  
  
Carrie laughed, and gave her daughter a hug. "Okay, okay--I'm leaving." With that she turned and walked down the hall, leaving the CSI's alone with the six year old.  
  
"So, Lex, let's introduce you to everybody." Nick turned to Catherine. "This is Catherine."   
  
Catherine crouched down so that she was at eye level with the little girl. "Hi-ya, Lexi. It's nice to finally meet you. Your daddy and Sara can't stop talking about you." She grinned at her, her blue eyes twinkling, and shook Lexi's hand.  
  
"Hi! You're Lindsay's mom, right? Is she coming today? I really want to meet her."  
  
Catherine laughed, recalling the girl's recent ramble. "Yes, I'm Lindsay's mom, and yes, she's stopping by later. Her Aunt Elizabeth is bringing her over."  
  
"That's cool."  
  
Catherine stood up, and Nick walked up to his daughter. "Lexi, this is Grissom," he said, leading her to his boss.  
  
Grissom shook her hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Lexi."  
  
"It's nice to meet you, too." She paused. "You have a funny name."  
  
"Actually, its my last name," Grissom explained.  
  
"Then why don't they call you _Mr._ Grissom?"  
  
"That's a good question. I don't know why. I guess I just don't like formalities much."  
  
"What are for-mal-ities?"  
  
"Uh. . . being very formal." It was a horrible answer, but she seemed to be satisfied.  
  
"Oh. Like the dress I had to wear to Mommy's friend Jill's wedding. That was very formal too. At least that's what Mommy said. I hated that dress." She paused again. "We're the same, then. I don't like for-mal-ities either." She frowned. "Well, if I get to call you Grissom, then you can call me Barnes."  
  
"Okay then, Barnes." Grissom looked over at Catherine, who was trying to suppress her laughter at the scene. _That kid is so adorable. Nick and Sara are lucky to have her._  
  
Sara, still smiling at the girl, took over where Nick left off with the introductions. "And this is Warrick."  
  
"I already know Warrick. He's really nice. Me and Mommy couldn't find you, but Warrick showed us. Right Warrick?"  
  
"That's right. Me and Lexi bonded already. She introduced me to her doll and everything," Warrick said.  
  
"Lexi! I thought I was supposed to be the first one to meet Nala!" Sara exclaimed, feigning hurt.  
  
Lexi's face fell, and she gasped loudly. "Oh, no! Sara! I'm sorry. You and Daddy were supposed to be first! But Warrick was right there, and he asked about her, and so I showed him and. . . you're not mad at me, are you? Mommy said I'm not supposed to make you mad at me, because-"  
  
Sara went up to the girl and took her in her arms. "Hey, munchkin. Don't worry. I'm not mad. I was just kidding. I'm glad you showed Warrick your Nala. And your daddy's not mad either, are you Nick?"  
  
Nick came over to the two, shocked at the motherly side of Sara that was kicking in. "Nah. It's okay. But are you going to show us now?"  
  
Lexi wiped her eyes, and pulled the doll out from behind her back. It was a small rag doll, immaculately hand-sown, wearing a red and white checked apron. "Oh, Lex. She's beautiful." Nick took the doll and ran his fingers over it. This was his daughter's most prized possession. _His daughter's_. Referring to a child as his own was still a new experience for him, and he was loving every minute of it. Granted, it had only been a few days, but they had been the best few days of his life.   
  
"Hey, let me see." Catherine walked up to the small group, followed closely by Grissom, and bent down to see the doll. She put out her hand as if to ask if she could hold it, and Lexi gently placed it in her hands.   
  
"Okay, but be careful. I can't let anything happen to her. My Poppy gave her to me, you know."  
  
Catherine looked at Nick quizzically. "Carrie's father. He died when she was one," Nick explained. Catherine nodded before handing the doll back to Lexi.  
  
"Her name's Nala, right?" Lexi nodded. "Well, your Nala is a very lucky doll to have you to watch out for her."  
  
Lexi grinned, and looked again across the hallway at the lab longingly.  
  
"You like my lab?" Lexi jumped at the voice behind her. Greg was leaning against the doorframe and smiling at the little girl.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Greg. And you must be Lexi. Your dad seems to have forgotten his manners." He indicated with his finger for her to come over. "That's because he's old and senile," he whispered into her ear, "he forgets everything."  
  
Lexi giggled. "I like you. You're funny."  
  
Greg put an arm on her shoulder and pulled her close. "Well, I'm glad someone around here thinks so."  
  
"Is that your lab?" she asked, pointing to what she had been dying to see ever since she set foot in the building.  
  
"Yep. Sure is. You wanna see it?"  
  
"Yeah!" She ran into the lab and hopped up on one of the stools, spinning around and squealing with delight. "I like where you work, Daddy! It's fun!" she called out to Nick, who by now had made his way into the lab along with the rest of the team.  
  
"Well, just be careful that you don't hurt yourself. Your mother would kill me." He put his hand on the stool and stopped her spinning, despite her pout.  
  
Sara pulled Greg to the side. "Listen Greg, I know it's a lot to ask, but do you think you could keep an eye on Lexi tonight? Nick and I will watch her when we can, but do you think you could take care of her when we're out in the field or in autopsy?"  
  
"No problemo. Do it with Lindsay all the time. I have a way with the ladies, you know," he said with a wink.   
  
"Well, good, because Cath's sister is bringing Linds over for a little while later, so you'll have your hands full."  
  
"Don't underestimate me, Sara. I think I can handle two little girls."  
  
"I complete faith in you, Greggo." She gave him a peck on the cheek and went back to the group.  
  
Nick was picking Lexi up off the stool and placing her back on the ground when the doors to the lab opened and Lindsay bounded into the room.  
  
"Uncle Grissom! Uncle Warrick! Uncle Nick!" Lindsay yelled.  
  
Warrick scooped her up in his arms. "Hey! You're getting big. I don't think I can hold you anymore, Linds."  
  
She laughed, and climbed down. "Hi, Mommy! Hi Sara!"  
  
Catherine gave her daughter a hug and kiss, and waved to her sister, who mouthed that she would be back later to pick the little girl up.  
  
"What about me, Lindsay?" Greg asked, putting his hands up in the air. "Have you forgotten about me that easily?"  
  
"Uncle Greg! I didn't see you." She gave him a bear hug and turned to Lexi.   
  
"You're Lexi." It was a statement, not a question.  
  
"You're Lindsay."  
  
Lindsay walked up closer to Lexi and whispered in her ear. "I'm glad you're here. I'm tired of being the only kid around here." She smiled and took Lexi's hand. "C'mon. I'll show you around. I practically live here."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Carrie entered the parking lot and walked toward her Jetta. Taking out her cell phone, she quickly dialed a number and hopped into the driver's seat. A familiar voice came on the line. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey. Dammit, Carrie, where are you? You were supposed to be here a half hour ago."  
  
"I'll be there in a little while. I'm just leaving now."  
  
"I thought you left the apartment an hour ago?"  
  
"I did. I had to drop Lex off at Nick's work."  
  
"Oh. How's he taking it?"  
  
"Don't worry. Everything is going perfectly. We don't have anything to worry about." She smiled into the phone. "Listen. I've got to go. I'll see you in a few." She hung up the phone without waiting for a response.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Nick walked into the CSI building, followed closely by Sara and Warrick. They had had a rough night, and all three were anxious to go home. The sounds of Lexi and Lindsay's laughter and Greg's moans could be heard from down the hallway. Nick and Sara looked at each other and rushed to Greg's lab, anxious to see what damage Lexi had done.  
  
"Oh my god." Sara tried to stifle her laughter, but to no avail. Greg's hair was done up in tiny ponytails that stuck up all over his head. Some were pink, some were blue, and others were florescent green. Greg was holding a mirror in his hand, and staring in horror at his reflection.  
  
Nick slapped Greg on the back and looked into the mirror with him. "Nice look, Greggo."  
  
"Look what you did to me!" he yelled to the girls.  
  
Sara couldn't stop laughing. "So, uh, Greg. What happened to 'I can handle two little girls'?"  
  
Greg began furiously ripping out the rubber bands and trying to restore his hair to its normal look, which wasn't hard, since it always looked as if he purposely tried to make it unruly. "Two little girls I can handle. But these are two little monsters we're dealing with."  
  
"Awww, come on, Uncle Greg. You don't really think we're monsters, do you?" Lexi asked, batting her eyelashes.  
  
Nick and Sara exchanged a glance at what Lexi had called Greg, but didn't ask about it.  
  
"You guys are evil, you know that? And that goes for you, too, Miss Willows," he said to Lindsay, who gave him an innocent smile.  
  
"What did I miss?" asked Catherine, who had just walked in on the scene. "Oh my God, Greg. What happened to your hair? And are those pink highlights?"  
  
"And green and blue. Compliments of those two and my hi-lite markers," he said, pointing to the two giggling girls, who instantly put on angelic faces.  
  
"Who? Us?" Lindsay asked innocently.  
  
"I'm not even gonna ask. Come on, Linds. Say good-bye to everybody. We're going home."  
  
Lindsay gave Greg a hug. "Sorry, Uncle Greg."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it'll wash out."  
  
"Bye everybody. Bye Lexi." Catherine and Lindsay grabbed their things and left the lab.  
  
"We're going too, Lexi," Nick said.  
  
"Okay." Lexi said good-bye to everyone, and apologized to Greg. She ran into the break room and grabbed her doll, then followed Nick to the door. Sara stayed behind to talk to Greg.  
  
"Thanks for watching Lexi tonight, Greg," she said.  
  
"No problem, Sara. She's a cute kid. And I don't mind about my hair... much," he replied, making Sara laugh.  
  
"Well, thanks." She started to walk out of the building, then stopped and turned around. "And, Greg?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Did Lexi call you Uncle Greg?"  
  
He looked embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. Lindsay was calling me Uncle Greg, and Lexi asked if she could call me that, too. I hope you don't mind. She said that she didn't have any real uncles, so I would be the only one. I thought that was sweet."  
  
Sara smiled, thinking that Lexi would have a lot of aunts and uncles if she was going to be a part of their family. "Yeah, that is sweet. Bye Greg."  
  
"Bye Sara." Sara walked out the doors and into the parking lot, leaving a smiling Greg alone in the lab.  
  
~*~*~*~  
A/N~ I think this was the longest chapter yet! Eight pages, yeesh! I hope you enjoyed it. Remember to review!  
  
~Emily

(Oh, and loco—thanks for the idea.  I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. :-D)


	9. Girls' Night In

Title: Life and Death  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: Okay, okay-they're not mine. Happy now?  
  
Author's Note: I went forward a few weeks in this chapter to get the storyline moving a little bit more.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Sara, how's this?" Lexi asked, holding up the pizza dough for Sara to inspect.  
  
"Stretch it out a little thinner, Lex, and then we'll put it on the pan," Sara instructed, turning back to the cheese grater. Sara had the night off, and Carrie had left Lexi in their care. In the past few weeks Lexi had spent a lot of time with Nick and Sara. They had converted the office into a spare bedroom for the nights when she slept over, and their DVD collection now housed a variety of Disney movies. This was the first night that Sara was spending alone with Lexi, and she was trying her hardest to make a good impression on the girl. They had stopped at the local Blockbuster and rented "The Master of Disguise" and bought popcorn for a movie night later on. When they went to the supermarket to pick up a few things for the week, Sara, at Lexi's urging, had bought ingredients to make pizza. Now Sara was getting the cheese and sauce ready while Lexi spread out the crust.  
  
"How about now?" Lexi asked.  
  
Sara leaned over to look at the dough and nodded. "Yeah, that's perfect. You ready for the sauce?"  
  
"Yeah!" Sara poured the sauce on the dough crust and Lexi spread it with a spoon. "Like this?"  
  
"Perfect. Are you sure you haven't done this before?" Sara teased.  
  
"Nope. Mommy doesn't like to cook, so we never do anything like this. But this is fun. I like you, Sara," Lexi said, still spreading the sauce.  
  
"I like you, too, Munchkin." Sara was touched that she was making a good impression on her. She had been growing very attached to Lexi, and she wouldn't mind if the girl became a permanent fixture in their home.  
  
"I'm ready for the cheese, Sara," Lexi said. Sara handed her the bowl of grated mozzarella, and Lexi sprinkled the shavings over the pizza until it was completely covered and the bowl was empty. "Can I put it in the oven?"  
  
"No, let me do it. It's heavy; I don't want you to drop it and get hurt," Sara said, picking the pan up from the counter top and opening the oven door. Grabbing an oven mitt, she pulled out the shelf and carefully placed the pan down on it. Closing the oven and setting the timer, Sara turned to Lexi. "So, what do you want to do while we're waiting?"  
  
"Don't we have to clean up first?" Lexi asked.  
  
"Oh right." Sara laughed. Never in her life had she met a kid who wanted to clean up. "I'll tell you what-why don't you start the movie, and I'll be there in a few minutes once I'm done cleaning up and the pizza's done?"  
  
"Okay. She hopped off the stool and grabbed the movie case from the kitchen table before running into the living room.  
  
Sara chuckled and picked up the damp dishcloth from the sink. She wiped off the countertop and put the extra pizza sauce in the refrigerator. As she was drying off the counter, Lexi called out to her.  
  
"Sara! Quick! It's starting!" Sara dropped the towel onto the counter and went into the living room, snuggling up on the couch with Lexi. After a few minutes both heads popped up at the sound of the timer going off.   
  
"Pizza's done," Sara said. Lexi paused the movie and followed Sara into the kitchen. Sara grabbed two oven mitts and took the pizza out of the oven. Lexi sat on the stool and watched as Sara wielded the pizza wheel and cut it into six even slices. After putting a slice of pizza on each of the two plates that Lexi had taken out, Sara placed ice in two glasses and filled them with Coke. "You ready?" she asked Lexi.  
  
"You mean we can eat it in the living room?" she asked incredulously.  
  
"Sure, why not?"  
  
"I don't know. It's just that Mommy always makes me eat in the kitchen," Lexi explained.  
  
"Oh," Sara said, embarrassed. "Well, we can stay in here if you want, I just thought it would be something special."  
  
"No! I want to go in the living room. You're a lot cooler than my mommy, Sara. C'mon." She took Sara's hand and led her into the living room, where they settled themselves on the couch to watch the rest of the movie and eat their pizza.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Nick unlocked the door to the apartment and walked in looking exhausted. He dropped his jacket on the floor and walked farther into the room, stopping short at the sight before him. Greasy paper plates and empty glasses were on the coffee table, and Sara and Lexi were cuddled together on the couch, asleep. The television hadn't been turned off so the faint sounds of static could be heard in the room, but apparently didn't bother the two sleeping figures on the couch. Nick chuckled softly and walked in the direction of the kitchen, grabbing the debris as he went. After turning off the TV and DVD player, he bent down next to the couch, smiling. He gently tapped Sara on the shoulder.  
  
"Come on, Sleeping Beauty, get up." Sara sat up groggily, unaware of her surroundings. She glanced over at Lexi, who was still sleeping, and the events of the night registered. After they finished their pizza, Sara had made microwave popcorn, and the two had spent the night watching the movie and eating. By the end of the movie, both had fallen asleep.  
  
"Did you guys have a good time?" Nick asked quietly, so as not to wake his sleeping daughter.  
  
"Yeah," Sara said, rubbing her eyes, "Yeah. We made pizza and popcorn and watched a movie. And then we fell asleep."  
  
"I can see that," he teased. "C'mon. Let's get her to bed." Nick carefully picked the little girl up, cradling her in his arms. He walked into the lavender room they had made for her and turned to Sara, "Can you turn down the covers?"  
  
Sara pulled back the pink and lavender comforter and lavender Jersey knit sheets. After fluffing the pillows and picking Nala up from the floor and placing her on the bed, she turned to Nick and he gently placed her down. Lexi stirred, but didn't wake. Nick planted a kiss softly on her forehead and left the room, followed by Sara. They walked into their own bedroom and got ready for bed.  
  
As soon as Sara put her pajamas on and brushed her teeth, she sank into the plush, king-sized bed and fell right to sleep. Nick followed suit, and soon everyone in the apartment was sound asleep.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ This was a short chapter, I know. But I don't know when I'll get a chance to write again, so I figured I'd post this much now while I have the chance. Please review-your feedback is what keeps me writing. 


	10. Advice from Catherine

Title: Life and Death  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, BUT I have a plan: First, make whoever DOES own them fall madly in love with me, then get married and refuse to sign a pre-nump. A month later, hire a good lawyer and divorce the poor sap, making CSI and its characters ALL MINE!!! Once I own the show, we put everyone with his or her rightful soul mate: Nick with Sara, Grissom with Catherine, Greg with Jenna (thought you'd like that!), and Warrick with me! Okay, so maybe I'm not Warrick's soul mate, but I'll need someone there to comfort me after that extremely PAINFUL divorce.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The cool spring breeze blew through the trees, making Sara pull her jacket closer. She was sitting on a park bench with Catherine, watching Nick chase Lexi and Lindsay around the merry-go-round.  
  
"Look at them," Catherine said, cringing as Lindsay fell off the merry-go- round, which was spinning at full speed thanks to Nick, and breathing a sigh of relief when her daughter picked herself up, brushed off her pants and jacket, and hopped back on.  
  
Sara smiled and turned to Catherine. "I know. Lexi loves it here. Practically every day she's stayed with us has resulted in at least one trip. She was just so excited when Lindsay could come today."  
  
Catherine nodded. "Yeah, its nice to see them getting along so well. Lexi's a sweetheart, and I think Linds has developed some kind of big sister complex over her."  
  
Sara laughed and took a sip of the water bottle sitting next to her on the bench. "I know. Lexi is such a sweet kid. I'm really starting to grow attached to her."  
  
"Oh really," Catherine said, feigning shock, "Who would have believed we'd see a motherly side of Sara Sidle peeking out from under all that hostility?"  
  
Sara slapped her on the arm, "Cut it out, Cath. I'm serious. I really love her. She's become like a daughter to me."  
  
Catherine grew serious. "Did you tell Nick?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well why not?" Catherine asked.   
  
"I don't know," Sara said, "I guess because I made such a stink about it in the first place, but now I can't picture her not being there."  
  
Catherine patted Sara's arm. "I know how you feel, but that's not really it, is it?"  
  
Sara sighed. "I don't know. I guess I'm also a little scared."  
  
"Scared?" Catherine exclaimed, "What the hell are you scared of?"  
  
"Of rejection, I guess. If I tell Nick that I love Lexi like a daughter and want to be a part of her life, then what happens if Nick suddenly realizes he doesn't want me to be? We're only dating, Cath. We're not married or anything. He has no obligations to me."  
  
Catherine sighed and slid over on the park bench, putting a comforting arm around Sara's shoulders. "Honey, now you're really reaching. You know that Nick loves you more than anything in the world. If you don't, just look into his eyes and you'll see how much he loves you. Everybody else can see it, why can't you?"  
  
"I know he loves me, Cath. And I love him, it's just . . . . I don't know." Catherine gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze. "Don't tell him I said anything, Cath, okay? I'll tell him tonight at the carnival." Nick, Sara, and Catherine were taking Lexi and Lindsay to a local carnival that night, as Carrie had another doctor's appointment, and all three miraculously had the night off. It had been all the two girls could talk about for days, and all five were looking forward to it.  
  
"I won't say anything, Sara," Catherine said as Lexi ran over, followed by Nick carrying Lindsay piggyback. All three were out of breath, and Nick quickly dumped Lindsay onto the bench.  
  
"Sara! Sara! Sara!" Lexi yelled excitedly. "Come play with us, Sara!"  
  
"Yeah, Sara, come on!" Lindsay chimed in.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm coming," Sara said, grinning.  
  
Lindsay turned to Lexi, "Race you to the swings!" With that the two whirlwinds were off, followed closely by Sara.  
  
Nick laughed and bent down, putting his hands on his knees, out of breath and exhausted.  
  
"Tired?" Catherine asked good-naturedly.  
  
"Exhausted," he replied, sitting down on the bench beside her, "I don't know where they get the energy."  
  
"Me either," Catherine said, "But they're sure giving Sara a run for her money."  
  
Nick looked up to see Sara trying in vain to keep up with the giggling girls, who by now had given up on the swings and were immersed in a full- fledged game of tag, Sara being 'it'.  
  
"Yeah, but she seems to be enjoying herself anyway," Nick said, laughing, "She really seems to have grown attached to Lexi."  
  
"Yeah, she does seem to," Catherine said, keeping her earlier conversation with Sara to herself.  
  
Nick paused, as if deciding what to say. "Catherine?" he began uneasily, "Could I ask you something?"  
  
"Of course, Nick," Catherine replied curiously.  
  
"Do you . . . I mean, would . . ."  
  
"Spit it out, Nick," Catherine said with a smile.  
  
"Do you think . . ." he took a deep breath, "Do you think Sara would marry me?"  
  
"Do I think she would marry you?" Catherine repeated, "Do you even have to ask?" Nick grinned. "Why? Are you going to?" she asked excitedly.  
  
"Tonight, at the carnival," he said, unable to suppress his grin.  
  
"Oh, Nick. I'm so happy for you," Catherine said, giving him a hug.   
  
"Thanks, but we don't even know if she'll say yes," Nick said forlornly.  
  
"Why wouldn't she?" Catherine asked.  
  
Nick took a moment to answer. He gazed across the park at Sara and the girls and sighed. "I was going to ask her a while ago, but then this whole thing with Carrie and Lexi happened, and now I don't know." Catherine looked at him questioningly, and he continued. "Before it was just Sara and me. Now we have Lexi to worry about. I don't know if Sara's going to want that kind of baggage."  
  
"Nicky, if you honest to God believe that Sara is that selfish and heartless, then you really are stupid. Because believe me, one look at that woman will tell you that she loves you and that little girl, and she would never consider her 'baggage'," Catherine said, giving him a stern look.  
  
"Thank you, Cath." He gave her a peck on the cheek. "I don't know what I would do without you."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," she said, a smile spreading across her lips, "So you're definitely going to propose tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, but I can't do this alone; I need your help."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ Please review! I have the next chapter all done and ready to roll, but I won't post it if I don't get reviews! *hint, hint*  
  
~Emily 


	11. Fireworks

Chapter 11: Fireworks  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: Okay, so the whole abuse-the-guy-who-owns-CSI-and-steal-the- show plot didn't work, so no, I don't own them.  
  
Author's Note: I know that last chapter kinda sucked and was really short. The reason for that is because it was originally part of this chapter, but then this chapter was too long, so my friend suggested that I split them, so I did. Anyway, this chapter is better and longer...well, it's longer, and I *think* it's better...  
  
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Ryan, my friends' brother who was born on May 30.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The carnival lights shone across the lot, illuminating it in artificial brightness. Colorful shadows were cast over the group that had just parked their car and were now making their way to the ticket booth. Lindsay and Lexi raced ahead of the others and Sara and Catherine chased after them while Nick waited in line. A few minutes later he strode up to his companions with three books of tickets: one for each of the giggling girls and one for the adults to share.  
  
"I want to go on the roller coaster!"  
  
"I want to go on the teacups!"  
  
"No, I want cotton candy!"  
  
"Popcorn!"  
  
Lexi and Lindsay shouted out requests excitedly, impatient for Nick to hand them the tickets.  
  
"Will you wait a second, you little nutcases?" Nick admonished, handing a ticket book each to Sara and Catherine and keeping one for himself. "First of all, you just had pizza, so you don't need anything to eat yet. Second of all, you can't go off by yourself; we'll go together, and I promise we'll get to all the rides."  
  
The two girls seemed satisfied with that.  
  
"So, where do you want to go first?" Sara asked.  
  
"The roller coaster!" Lindsay screamed.  
  
"The teacups!" Lexi called at the same time.  
  
Catherine put both hands up in front of her. "Only one at a time. We're staying together, remember?" They nodded. "Okay then. Why don't we go on the teacups first, because they're closer." Lindsay pouted. "And then we'll go to the roller coaster," she promised, making her daughter grin.  
  
"Teacups it is," Nick said, and led the way to the ride.  
  
They walked up to the attraction and waited on line for the current ride to end. When everyone on the teacups had exited, Sara handed the attendant ten tickets, two each, and they cautiously made their way to a blue and white teacup with gray seats, careful not to trip over the cracks in the metal flooring.  
  
Catherine, Lindsay, and Lexi sat down first, and Sara was about to get in when a man stopped her.  
  
"You all can't fit," he said in a gruff voice, "You two take the one next to it."  
  
Sara gave Nick a look and he shrugged. "We'll be in the next one, Lex, okay? Do you want to come with us or stay with Lindsay and Catherine?"  
  
"Stay with Lindsay," she said without hesitation. "And don't worry, Daddy, it's not scary. I went on something just like this in Disney World. You don't need me there to protect you," she said solemnly.  
  
Sara turned her head so Lexi wouldn't see her grin and Nick stifled his laugh. "If you say so," he said, and she gave him a reassuring smile.  
  
"You'll be okay, Daddy."  
  
Nick and Sara walked over to the next available cup and slid in, laughing.  
  
"She's too much," Sara said, pulling the safety bar closed. They settled into the seats and a moment later they heard the creaking of the mechanisms below them and the teacup started spinning.  
  
Sara and Nick laughed as they spun around, waving at Lexi and Lindsay when they saw them, and cringing at Catherine's green face. Before they knew it the spinning slowed and the ride came to a halt. Pushing the safety bar forward, they stepped out of the tilted teacup and walked towards the exit, meeting up with the other three.  
  
"I want to go on again!" Lexi exclaimed.  
  
"Me too!" Lindsay echoed.  
  
"Uh-uh. I don't think I'm up for another spin, Linds. Sorry," a green- faced Catherine said, clutching her stomach.  
  
"Are you alright, Catherine?" Sara asked, trying to sound concerned but at the same time amused by the fact that her strong friend couldn't handle a little kid's carnival ride.  
  
"I'll be fine. I just need a water or something, I think," she said.   
  
"You sure?" Sara asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure. I think there's another food stand near the roller coaster. We can head in that direction and I'll find a bench to sit at while they're on the ride."  
  
They walked for a few minutes until they came to the roller coaster, the carnival's main attraction. 'Brain Scrambler', the sign read, and showed a picture of brains on a frying pan.  
  
"Nice," Sara commented sarcastically as they neared the excruciatingly long waiting line. She looked up at the attraction. It had many steep ups and downs but thankfully only one loop that didn't look too bad. "Are you sure you guys want to go on this?"  
  
"Yeah!" they called in unison.  
  
"Okay, then," Sara said, not looking forward to it but willing to go on to please them.   
  
They got on the line and Catherine spotted a bench not far away, saying she would go sit there and wait for them. Sara and Nick nodded and followed the excited girls up the line. As they drew closer to the entrance, Nick spotted a sign that depicted an alien, one long finger protruding outward and forming a line. 'You must be this tall to ride' was written in disfigured lettering above it.  
  
"Go see if you're tall enough, girls," Nick said.  
  
The girls raced up to the sign. Lindsay stood next to it and put her finger to the top of her head. Stepping away, she grinned when she saw that she was tall enough to ride. Lexi repeated the action, but frowned when her finger only reached to just below the line.  
  
"She's not tall enough, sorry," the attendant said. Lexi pouted, tears pooling in her eyes.  
  
"What if we ride with her?" Nick asked.  
  
"Weellll . . . . ." the attendant said, drawing the word out and contemplating his options.  
  
"Come on," Sara pleaded, "She just barely doesn't make it, and both of us are going on, too. Couldn't you bend the rules just a little?"  
  
Lexi looked up at him expectantly.  
  
"Let me see you by that sign again," he said, walking up to the alien with her.  
  
Lexi stood by the sign, trying to make herself as tall as possible.  
  
"Tiptoes," the attendant whispered, winking at Lexi.  
  
She grinned and raised herself up on her tiptoes, meeting the height requirements.  
  
"Well whaddaya know, she is tall enough," he said, taking the 12 tickets from Sara, three each for the roller coaster, "Keep on going straight, and enjoy your ride."  
  
Sara tickled Lexi from behind. "You got lucky, munchkin. Good thing he was a nice guy, or we would have been sitting on that bench with Catherine."  
  
Lexi smiled up at Sara. They kept walking till they reached two available carts, side by side, and got in, Nick and Lindsay in one, Sara and Lexi in the other. Sara pulled the buckle tight around the two of them and pulled the safety bar towards them, pushing to make sure it was locked in place. "You ready?" she asked a grinning Lexi.  
  
"Yup!"  
  
In the other cart Nick repeated the same action Sara just had, checking to make sure he and Lindsay were secure. Once he was positive they were strapped in, he bent down towards Lindsay's ear.  
  
"You know the plan, right?" he whispered.  
  
"Yeah," she replied, giving him a thumbs-up sign. Before they could say more the carts began to move and the roller coaster began slowly ascending a steep hill, creaking with every inch it moved.  
  
"You nervous?" Sara asked Lexi, who was gripping her hand tightly.  
  
"A little," she admitted, "but I'm having fun." Sara gave her hand a squeeze as the cart crept up ever so slowly before reaching the top of the hill and pausing. Sara gave Lexi a smile and squeezed her hand as their cart raced down the hill at full speed. The sound of Lexi's delighted screams filled the air, joining the other voices around them. Sara joined Lexi, and the two continued screaming and laughing through all the ups and downs, and their laughter escalated when the reached the loop. Soon the ride was over and the coaster slowed to a stop. Sara and Lexi got out of their cart and Nick and Lindsay out of theirs, the entire foursome laughing.  
  
"That was great!" Lindsay exclaimed, "Can we go on again?"  
  
"Yeah, let's go again!" Lexi chimed in, looking expectantly at her father and Sara.  
  
Nick and Sara looked at each other, then at the unbelievably long line for the ride.   
  
"I don't think so, chickies," Sara said, walking towards Catherine's bench, "The line's too long."  
  
"But there are tons of other rides we can go on," Nick said as they approached Catherine, "Like the Ferris Wheel," he added with a wink at Lindsay.  
  
"Ooh! I love the Ferris Wheel," Catherine said, "A nice, calm ride. Whaddaya say, Sara? The Ferris Wheel sound appealing?"  
  
"Actually, I've never been on a Ferris Wheel before," she admitted, a response that Nick already knew.  
  
"You're kidding? Nick, you've got to take her. This poor girl's missing out on some of the best things in life," Catherine said, playing her part perfectly.  
  
"Don't worry, Cath," Nick said, draping his arm around Sara's shoulder, "We'll make sure she gets her chance. How about it you two," he said to Lindsay and Lexi, "You wanna go on the Ferris Wheel?"  
  
"I don't want to go, the Ferris Wheel's lame. I want a funnel cake," Lindsay said.  
  
"And I want cotton candy," Lexi added.  
  
Catherine sighed. "Okay, okay. How about this: I'll take the two little piggys to get something to eat, and you two can go on the Ferris Wheel by yourselves."  
  
"It's really okay; I don't have to go," Sara said.  
  
"No, no, go. It'll be fun," Catherine insisted, "Plus you and Nick took the girls on the roller coaster so I'll take them to get food. What's fair is fair."  
  
"Fine," Sara conceded, "But you're buying me a funnel cake when we get off, Nick."  
  
Nick laughed and led the way to the Ferris Wheel. When Sara was a few feet ahead of him he turned his head and mouthed 'Thank you' to Catherine, who mouthed back 'Good luck'.  
  
The couple arrived at the ride just as it was ending. Nick pulled four tickets out and handed them to the attendant, who winked and let them on. Sara slid into the bench first, followed by Nick. He pulled the safety bar towards them and it snapped into place. "You ready?" he asked Sara.  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be," she said with a grin as the swinging basket ascended into the sky. They neared the top, the lights of Las Vegas sparkling below them, and Sara took a sharp intake of breath. "Oh my God, Nick," she breathed, "It's so beautiful."  
  
"You're beautiful," he said.  
  
Sara looked at him and smiled, kissing him softly. "Thank you, Nick. For everything." She took his hand in her own and gazed out across the sky at the beautiful sight before her.  
  
"I've really enjoyed tonight," she said. "I've enjoyed spending time with Lexi."  
  
"Me too," Nick replied.  
  
"She's . she's really become like a daughter to me," she confided, and looked into Nick's eyes to gauge his reaction. She smiled when she saw happiness spread across his face.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really. I know that I don't ." She paused. "I know that she's your daughter not mine, but I really love her Nick, and it feels like she's mine. And I want to keep her."  
  
"Sara, I don't know what to say, except thank you. I love you," he said, and placed a tender kiss on her lips.  
  
"I love you, too, Nick," she said, returning his kiss.  
  
"Sara," he began, pulling away and taking a deep breath, "I love you. I don't know what my life would be like without you, and I don't want to know. You're my whole life. You and Lexi. And knowing that you want to keep Lexi makes me so happy you can't even imagine. I want you to be a part of our lives forever." He pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket.  
  
Sara's eyes filled with tears when she realized what was happening.  
  
"I want you to be my wife, Sara. My wife and Lexi's mother." He opened the box and took out a sparkling diamond ring.  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
"Is that a yes?" Nick asked tentatively.  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
"Is that a good 'Oh my God' or a bad 'Oh my God'?" he asked, fearing the worst. If Sara said no his life would crumble to pieces. She had to say yes. She had to.  
  
"Yes!" She cried, wrapping her arms around him as best possible in their close quarters. "Yes!"  
  
"You said yes?"  
  
"Yes! I said yes!" she said, kissing him again.  
  
He slipped the ring on her finger and leaned over the side of their basket. "She said yes!" he called down, and Catherine, Lexi, and Lindsay cheered.  
  
"They were in on this?" She asked incredulously.  
  
"Yup," he replied, grinning from ear to ear.   
  
"You little sneaks!" she called down to them, laughing. "I love you," she said, turning to Nick.  
  
"I love you, too, Sara," he said as the sound of fireworks was heard and their bright colors painted the sky.  
  
Sara settled into Nick's embrace, his strong arms holding her close, her head cradled under his chin. She looked down at Lexi, who was smiling and waving excitedly and literally jumping up and down. She looked out across the sky at the beautiful fireworks that Nick had arranged for her. She looked down at her hand, the ring sparkling on her ring finger and looking perfect, and felt completely content for the first time in her life.  
  
~*~*~ A/N~ I have been wanting to write this chapter for so long, and I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Also, I know that I don't frequently update, but that's mainly because I can never have time to sit at the computer and type uninterrupted. So, I'm getting a laptop so I can update more often. The things I do for my readers. lol Please review! Please, please, PLEASE review!!!  
  
~Emily 


	12. House Hunting

Title: Life and Death  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I'm not even going to pretend that they're mine anymore. It stirs up too much unwanted publicity and makes my parole officer angry. That wooden club really hurts, you know.  
  
Author's Note: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter out. I do finally have my laptop (yay!) but I've been suffering from severe writers' block, so even though I have the time to write, if you don't know WHAT to write, it doesn't help you much, does it? But I want to thank everyone who's reviewed my other stories. For Sweet Dreams: thank you to Meee, Kady Rilla Wholi, MissyJane, cRaZyPiXie, and Melindotty. For Bless the Children: thank you to Sara Sidle Stokes, MissyJane, and Trace-Element. For Reunions: thank you to Sara Sidle Stokes, A Bloom, Hannah7876, Becki, grasshopper, NLD-diva, Lynn, MissyJane, PeTiTeCaT, PassionatePapist, MsCassy, Annie Lune, Sadie, and everyone who reviewed by email (unfortunately I forgot to save them.brain fart). If there's anybody I forgot, I apologize.  
  
And to everyone who has been asking me, your wish has come true.more evil Carrie! lol  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Carrie carefully maneuvered her Jetta into the parking space at Charlie's Grill, a local Las Vegas restaurant. She entered the establishment and walked up to the hostess, a brunette in her late twenties.  
  
"Hello, my name is Carrie Barnes. I'm meeting a Katie Jenkins?"  
  
"Of course," she said, nodding, "Right this way; she's been waiting for you." Carrie followed the woman to a table where an impatient brunette was waiting.  
  
"Jesus, Carrie. It's about time. What the hell took you so long?" Katie snapped, taking a sip of her martini.  
  
"I had to drop off Lexi at Nick's. He's taking her to see Finding Nemo," she explained, draping her jacket over the back of the chair.  
  
"So what's up?" Katie asked, getting right to the point.  
  
"He's marrying the bitch," Carrie said in disgust.  
  
"What?" Katie exclaimed, almost spitting out her drink, "When? I thought they were just dating?"  
  
"So did I. I never realized they were all that serious. She's not his type, but apparently he proposed when they took Lexi and her friend to that carnival the other night. Lexi hasn't been able to stop talking about it," Carrie said, swirling her water.  
  
"So what are we going to do now? We hadn't planned on her," Katie said.  
  
"Why do think I asked you to meet me here?" Carrie asked, "I need your help."  
  
Katie thought for a moment before speaking. "You said that she's crazy about Lexi, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then we'll work with that. Wait until after the wedding," Katie said, a plan formulating in her head.  
  
"Kate, what if I don't have till after the wedding?" Carrie asked forlornly.  
  
"Then we make sure they get married soon. And here's what we do."  
  
Carrie smiled as Katie shared her plan.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sara, Nick, and Lexi exited the theater. Lexi was bubbling with excitement and Nick and Sara were smiling at her antics.  
  
"That movie was so good! 'I wish I could speak whale,'" Lexi quoted.  
  
Sara laughed, "Dory was funny, wasn't she?"  
  
"Can we go see it again?" Lexi pleaded, "Please, please, please?"  
  
"You just saw it," Nick said, "Besides, there are other movies to see. You don't need to see the same one over and over."  
  
"Okay," Lexi conceded, "But when it comes out on DVD we have to get it."  
  
"You got it." They walked across the parking lot and reached the Tahoe. Nick opened the door for Lexi and she hopped in. As he was crossing to the other side of the truck he stopped when he saw Sara staring at her hand and smiling.  
  
"What are you smiling about?" he asked, leaning against the side of the truck.  
  
"It sparkles," she stated simply, twisting her wrist in the sunlight, "I still can't get over that I'm wearing it."  
  
"Well I'm glad you approve," he said with a grin.  
  
"Um, Daddy, Sara.can we go now? It's getting kind of hot in here," Lexi called from the backseat of the truck.  
  
"Don't worry, munchkin, we're coming," Sara said, giving Nick a quick kiss before opening the passenger door and sliding into the seat. As Nick backed out of the parking space and pulled away from the theater, Sara turned around to talk to Lexi.  
  
"So Lex," she began, "Your dad and I were talking, and we think we're going to get married next month, on the seventeenth. And we'd like you to be our flower girl. How does that sound?"  
  
"Really? I can be your flower girl?" Sara nodded. "That's awesome! I promise, I'll be the best flower girl ever! Do I get a flower girl dress? A pink one? With roses? Oooh, can I pick out my own dress? I'm so excited!" she squealed, and Nick and Sara laughed.  
  
"I'll tell you what, Lex," Nick said, looking at her through the rearview mirror, "You can get a pink dress, maybe with roses, and you can pick it out, but Sara has to approve it, okay?"  
  
"Okay," she agreed.  
  
"Catherine, Lindsey, and I are going dress shopping next week. Do you want to come?" Sara asked.  
  
"Yeah!" Lexi exclaimed, "This is going to be so much fun! I love weddings, even if I don't like for-mal-ties, or whatever they're called." Sara laughed, recalling the day when Lexi was first introduced to the team.  
  
"Am I going home, or to your house, Daddy?" Lexi asked, leaning forward in the seat so she was closer to Nick and Sara.  
  
"I'm taking you home. Your mom said she wanted you with her. She misses you, I think. You've been spending a lot of time with us lately, and I think she's lonely, sitting in that tiny apartment all day with no one to entertain her," Nick said.  
  
"I know. But soon I'm going to be spending much more time with you guys, right?" Lexi inquired.  
  
"I hope so," Nick said, looking across the seat at Sara and taking her hand, smiling, "I really hope so."  
  
~*~*~  
  
After dropping off Lexi at the apartment Carrie had gotten as soon as she came to Vegas, Nick and Sara drove home, stopping quickly at their favorite Chinese restaurant to pick up dinner. They parked the Tahoe in its designated spot at the apartment complex and walked up the stairs to their door. Once inside, Sara checked the messages on the machine while Nick set up dinner. There was one message from Catherine, confirming their plans for dress shopping, and one from Nick's mother, congratulating them on their engagement. Sara smiled and erased both messages, making a mental note to call them both later.  
  
She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Pouring it into the glass Nick had set down at her place, she sat down in the chair and waited for Nick to join her. She scooped some chicken and broccoli onto her plate as Nick took a seat, grabbing an egg roll.  
  
"Nick, I was thinking: where are we going to live?" Sara asked, breaking the comfortable silence they had settled into.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked, taking a bite of his egg roll.  
  
"Well, the apartment's great, but its so small. Even with the office for Lexi, we can't live here," Sara explained, taking a sip of her water.  
  
"I know."  
  
"So I was thinking that, uh, maybe we could."  
  
"Get a house?" Nick offered causing a grin to spread across Sara's face. "I was thinking the same thing," Nick said.  
  
"Thank you, Nick. And it doesn't have to be a big house. Whatever we can afford is fine," she said, beaming at the prospect of house hunting.  
  
"We'll get a nice, big house; don't worry about what we can afford," Nick said, taking another bite of his egg roll.  
  
"When do you want to start looking?" Sara asked, "We should look as soon as possible, so we can move in right after the wedding. That way Lexi can be settled when, well, you know."  
  
Nick nodded. "I know. I'll call the real estate agency right after dinner and make an appointment to start looking tomorrow after work."  
  
Sara stood up and brought her plate and glass to the sink, giving Nick a quick kiss on the way. "Thank you."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Nick parked the Tahoe in front Bob Manning's office. He had been highly recommended by Catherine, who had used him when she bought her house. He and Sara got out and entered the air-conditioned office. Mr. Manning quickly walked up to them.  
  
"Mr. Stokes? Ms. Sidle?"  
  
"Nick and Sara, please," Nick said, shaking Mr. Manning's hand.  
  
"In that case please call me Bob. Let's get right to business. You gave me your price range on the phone, so I was able to narrow the search down to a few houses. We can go see them now, if you'd like."  
  
"Sounds great," Sara said, and she and Nick followed Bob out the office door and into the parking lot. They got into the Tahoe and followed Bob in his Taurus to the first house. Sara gasped when she saw it.  
  
"Oh my god, Nick. It's so beautiful!" The house was two stories with a gorgeous front and back lawn, and an in-ground pool in the back. The front was white brick and the back and sides were white siding, and from their vantage point in the Tahoe they could see a deck peeking out behind the house.  
  
"Now we just have to see what the inside is like," Nick said, parking the truck and hopping out. Sara followed suit and they walked up to Bob, who held the key. The trio walked up to the front door and entered the home. Sara gasped in shock at what she saw.  
  
"Oh my god." If the outside was heaven, the inside was hell. It smelled musty, and the carpet was moldy from water damage. Each room was worst than the one before it, with peeling paint and broken windows. The ceiling in one bedroom was cracked almost to the point where it couldn't be repaired. Sara cringed as they walked through each room.  
  
"I think I've seen enough," Sara said, "Could we go see the rest of them?" Bob nodded and Sara led the way to the waiting vehicles. "I'm driving this time," she said to Nick, who rolled his eyes but got into the passenger seat. They drove to another house about twenty minutes away and Sara furiously shook her head as they pulled up.  
  
"No, no, no. There is no way I'm living here. No way in hell," She said in disgust at the house. The exterior was the opposite of the previous house. It desperately needed to be resided, and the shutters were hanging by a thread. The windows were broken, the roof needed repair, and it would take forever and a day to pull out all the weeds in the front lawn.  
  
"Come on, Sara. We came all this way so we might as well take a look at the inside," Nick pleaded, although he wasn't looking forward to going in, either.  
  
"You can go. I'm staying here," she insisted, and crossed her arms for emphasis. Nick sighed and opened the door to the Tahoe, stepping out and heading up to Bob. Sara leaned forward in interest as a few inaudible words were shared and Nick headed back to the running truck.  
  
"You win. We're going to the last house," Nick said, giving his fiancée a kiss as he sat down next her. Sara pulled out into the street, following the realtor to the final address.  
  
"I'm scared. What's this one gonna be like?" Sara asked, cringing at the thought of another ramshackle of a house.  
  
"They all can't be bad, Sara. Have a little faith in the guy; he said he was saving the best for last," Nick said, taking Sara's hand in a sign of reassurance.  
  
She sighed audibly and shook her head. "Alright, alright.but if this one is crapola we find a new realtor ASAP." Nick merely grinned as they pulled up to a beautiful house with a sand color brick exterior and a black wrought iron fence.  
  
"This is nice," Nick said as they exited the vehicle and walked up the luscious green lawn to the door.  
  
"Yeah, it's beautiful from the outside, but then again so was that first one," Sara said, not wanting to get her hopes up, because inside she really adored the house. They walked into the beautiful front hallway and Sara sighed in content. "This is really gorgeous, Nick." He nodded his head in agreement and the couple followed Bob through the rest of the two-story house. Each room was more beautiful than the next, and all four bedrooms were huge, including the master bedroom, which was bigger than the living room. Attached was the master bath, with a Jacuzzi tub and stall shower, and beautiful marble finishing carved with intricate detail. When the tour concluded, Sara and Nick turned to each other and grinned.  
  
"We'll take it," Nick said, squeezing Sara's hand.  
  
Bob nodded and shook both Nick and Sara's hands. "I'll get all the papers ready and we'll make an offer tonight. I have no doubts that this will be yours in no time," he said with a smile, "Congratulations." The couple thanked him and walked out the door and down the street to the Tahoe hand in hand.  
  
"You wanna take Lexi to see it tomorrow?" Sara asked as she slid into the drivers seat.  
  
"Yeah. You think she'll like it?" he asked, getting into his own seat.  
  
"I think she'll love it." Sara pulled away from the house and headed toward their apartment, grinning like a maniac.  
  
"Why do I think that smile isn't just because of the house?" Nick teased, looking over at Sara.  
  
"We're really going to be a family, aren't we?" Sara asked, turning to glance at Nick, who now shared her grin.  
  
"Yep. It feels great, doesn't it?" Sara answered him with a huge smile.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ Bob Manning is an actual real estate agent in Las Vegas (I looked it up on Google ^_^) and I started to describe an actual house for sale in Vegas, but then I got bored. lol. And my friends and I took my little sister to see Finding Nemo last week, and I laughed so hard I thought I would pee my pants. It was such an awesome movie, so I had to put it in. lol. Please review.I know this chapter was a little rushed (at least I think it was) but I was tired of all those chapters where nothing happened, and I want to get this story finished so I can start working on the sequel and another story that I've had in my head for awhile. Please review: your feedback is what keeps me writing.  
  
~Emily 


	13. Tomorrow

Title: Life and Death  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: My therapist says I'm in denial and I have to face the facts. So, no, I DO NOT OWN CSI! There, now I can move on and put my obsession with CSI behind me . . . riiiiiiight. . . like that's ever gonna happen.  
  
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. You guys are the best. Also, I just want to say that I whole-heartedly support Brianna. Go read her story, Truths, because it's awesome.  
  
Dedication: This is for Jacqueline, my ever-faithful beta. You rock, Jacqueline.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Carrie pulled her Jetta in front of the address Nick had given her and turned off the engine.  
  
"Why are we stopping here, Mommy?" Lexi called out from the back seat.  
  
"I don't know, sweetie. Your daddy asked me to drop you off here, but I don't know why," Carrie explained, "Why don't we wait outside for them?" Lexi nodded and unbuckled her seatbelt while Carrie got out and opened the door for her daughter. Carrie took Lexi's hand and they walked across the street. A minute later the Tahoe pulled up in front of the house.  
  
"You found it," Nick called, hopping out of the truck, Sara close behind him. Carrie cringed when she saw the engagement ring sparking on Sara's ring finger.  
  
"Yep. You wanna tell me why I'm dropping her off here today?" Carrie asked, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head.  
  
"This is our new house," Nick said, laughing at both Barnes girls' shocked expressions.  
  
"You bought a house?" Carrie exclaimed.  
  
"You bought a house!" Lexi squealed at the same time.  
  
"Yeah. So what do you think, Lex? Do you like it?" Sara asked.  
  
"I love it!" Lexi screamed, hopping up and down, "Can we see the inside?"  
  
"Of course," Sara said, dangling the keys in front of her. Lexi grinned and Sara led the way up to the door. As soon as she put the key in the lock and turned the knob, Lexi was running into the house. The little girl 'oooh'ed and 'ahhh'ed with each room, and stopped short when she came to one of the bedrooms.  
  
"Can I have this one?" she asked tentatively, taking in the beautiful bedroom with awe. It was a soft yellow color with daisies hand-painted along the bottom, and the ceiling was sponge-painted so that it looked as if clouds were floating above.  
  
"You can have any room you want, except our bedroom," Nick said, bending down next to Lexi, who was still scanning the room with her eyes.  
  
"I want this one," she said softly, almost in a whisper, "It's the most beautiful room I've ever seen."  
  
"Then it's yours," Sara said, crouching down to join her fiancé and soon-to- be stepdaughter.  
  
Carrie looked in disgust at the trio. Her days left with Lexi were slowly dwindling, and her daughter always wanted to spend more time with Nick and Sara than with her own mother. It was a step forward in Katie's plan, but a step behind in Carrie's own plan to spend her remaining days with her daughter.  
  
"Lexi, I have to go now, okay, sweetie? Mommy has to meet with her lawyer," Carrie said, "I'll be back to pick you up later."  
  
Lexi ran up to her mother and gave her a hug. "Bye, mommy!"  
  
"Bye, Lex. I love you." Carrie kissed her daughter's forehead and turned to Nick and Sara. "Should I pick her up here or at the apartment?"  
  
"At the apartment. We're only staying here for a little while," Sara said, "We have to go over some things with the realtor."  
  
Carrie nodded. "See you later, then." After giving Lexi another quick kiss she headed down the stairs and out the door.  
  
"I was thinking that later you and me could go to a baseball game, Lex. What do you think?" Nick asked his daughter as they exited the bedroom and made their way down the stairs.  
  
"Really? I love baseball! One time Mommy took me to a game, and we had so much fun! We ate hot dogs and popcorn and cotton candy and it was so much fun. We were going to go to another one but then Mommy got sick," she said sadly, her bright eyes beginning to lose their sparkle.  
  
"Well today's your lucky day, then," Sara said with a smile, trying to cheer the little girl up.  
  
"Are you coming, Sara?" Lexi asked, looking up at the brunette.  
  
"Nope," Sara said with a smile. "Baseball's not really my thing. Besides, I have to work."  
  
"Oh. So it's just you and me, Daddy?" Lexi asked.  
  
"Yep. Just you and me."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sara dumped her dinner dish in the sink and wiped down the kitchen table. She went into the bedroom to grab her jacket when the sound of the doorbell interrupted her.  
  
Walking out of the bedroom she opened the door and was surprised to see Carrie at the doorstep.  
  
"Carrie. Hi," Sara said uncomfortably, "You're early."  
  
"I know, but my doctor's appointment ended early so I thought I'd swing by and pick up Lexi and give you and Nick some time to yourselves," Carrie explained as she walked past Sara into the apartment, "Congratulations on your engagement, by the way."  
  
"Uh, thanks," Sara said slowly, following the blonde woman, who had started walking through the hallway and examining the pictures on the walls, "I thought you said you were meeting your lawyer?"  
  
"I-I was. I mean I did," Carrie stammered.  
  
"But you just said." Sara commented, letting her sentence trail.  
  
Carrie ignored her and stopped in front of a picture on the wall, and Sara crept up behind her to see which one she was looking at. She smiled when she saw which one had caught the other woman's attention. It was a picture taken by Catherine the night of the carnival. The night Nick proposed.  
  
After they had gotten off the Ferris Wheel Catherine insisted on buying everyone ice cream to celebrate, and had snapped a candid shot of Nick and Sara sitting on a park bench, Lexi snuggled between them, looking up at the fireworks that were still blazing across the night sky. All three had chocolate ice cream cones in hand, and Lexi was leaning against Nick's shoulder, her tired eyes drooping. When Catherine presented it to them two days later, Sara fell in love with it and immediately put it in a frame.  
  
It was the first picture of their family.  
  
Sara glanced over at Carrie, whose lips were set in a tight line and eyes were clouded over with anger. "Where's my daughter?" she asked stonily, and Sara noted the emphasis on the word 'my'.  
  
"Nick took her to the baseball game. He has the night off," Sara explained, eyeing Carrie curiously, "We weren't expecting you to be here so early."  
  
Carrie shook her head slightly and gave Sara a smile, her mood brightening significantly. "Right. Sorry." She walked toward the couch and Sara followed behind her. "Actually I'm glad they're not here. I wanted to talk to you alone."  
  
"Okay," Sara said, sitting on the couch beside Carrie.  
  
"It's about the wedding," Carrie said, "I don't want to tell you how to plan your wedding, but I think it'll be easier on Lexi if you have it soon."  
  
Sara nodded. "We were thinking the same thing. We're planning on getting married as soon as possible, probably next month," Sara explained, "And I asked Lexi to be my flower girl. We were planning to go dress shopping tomorrow when she's here. I hope that's not a problem."  
  
"Of course not," Carrie said with a smile, "She hasn't been able to stop talking about it."  
  
"I'm glad."  
  
"Actually, though," Carrie started, "What I really wanted to talk to you about was after the wedding."  
  
Sara looked at her inquisitively. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean when this is all over. With Lexi. Are you planning on legally adopting her?" Carrie asked softly.  
  
Sara was surprised by Carrie's bluntness. "I-I don't know. We hadn't really thought that far ahead."  
  
"Well I think it would be best for everyone involved if you started thinking about it," Carrie said, rising from her seat, "Especially Lexi. I want to make sure she's taken care of before I leave. My lawyer and I have been discussing our options and we think it would be best if you two legally adopt Lexi before I'm gone. That way I can be sure that you'll have custody. You know how courts are when it comes to cases like these."  
  
Sara nodded and led her to the door. "I'll talk to Nick later. This is all just so overwhelming. I'm still trying to sort it all out in my head."  
  
"I understand," Carrie said, "Could you have Nick drop her off when they get home? I'm starting to feel a little tired."  
  
"Sure," Sara said as she opened the door, "I just have one question."  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"If Nick is Lexi's biological father, we really don't have anything to worry about, do we?" Carrie looked her in the eye and turned on her heel, heading down the staircase where her Jetta was waiting.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Nick opened the door to the apartment and Lexi rushed in, heading towards the kitchen. "Sara! Sara!"  
  
"She's at work, shortcake," Nick said, placing Lexi's souvenir inflatable bat on the table.  
  
"Oh. When will she get back?" the young girl inquired.  
  
"Not till the morning, sweetie," Nick answered. He walked further into the kitchen and saw the blinking light of the answering machine on the counter. Pressing the play button, he smiled when he heard Sara's familiar voice.  
  
"Hey, Nick. It's me. Carrie stopped by earlier and asked if you could drop off Lexi when you guys get home. We have to talk later. Hope you had fun at the game. Love you."  
  
"Okay, Lex," Nick called, "Time to go."  
  
"But I wanted to see Sara," the six-year-old whined.  
  
"Sorry, sweetie. You can see her tomorrow," Nick said, "Come on."  
  
Lexi grumbled and grabbed her things, following Nick out the door and down the steps to the Tahoe. She hopped into the backseat and Nick began the fifteen-minute drive to Carrie's apartment. By the time he pulled up in front of the complex the little girl was fast asleep, her head resting against the windshield. Nick smiled and gently picked up his sleeping daughter.  
  
~*~*~  
  
When Nick returned to the apartment he made himself a cup of coffee and sunk into the plush sofa while he waited for Sara. He absently flipped through the channels and sighed in frustration when nothing was on. Walking across the apartment to the bedroom, he grabbed the black cordless phone and dialed Sara's familiar cell number.  
  
"Sidle."  
  
"Hey gorgeous," Nick said with a smile as he sat on the edge of the bed, "Where are you?"  
  
"In the break room, trying to sneak some of Greg's Hawaiian Blend before he can see me," she said. Nick heard Greg yelling at her in the background and laughed. "I told him he could either be a big boy and share or explain to my big bad fiancé why I have to go through caffeine withdrawal," Sara laughed, "Needless to say he left me alone."  
  
"It's nice to know I'm good for something," Nick teased, "Are you working on a case?"  
  
"Nope," Sara said, "Crime seems to have taken a break tonight. The only call we got was a routine break-in at a liquor store, and Warrick and Cath are already on it. I probably could have gone to the game with you."  
  
"I wish you could have. Lexi missed you," Nick said, "She kept asking why you couldn't come, and when we got back home the first thing she did was go look for you."  
  
"You gotta love her," Sara said with a smile, "She's too cute."  
  
"She's really attached to you, Sar," Nick said.  
  
"I know. While we're on the subject, there's something I wanted to talk to you about," Sara began, "I think we should get her tested, Nick. Soon. Carrie came by before, and I got some really bad vibes. When she was looking at that picture from the carnival she got really angry, but the next minute she was as pleasant as could be. And you know how she told us she had to meet with her lawyer?"  
  
"Yeah. About her will, right?"  
  
"Exactly. But when she showed up she said she was at the doctor's. When I asked her about it she never answered my question, and then she changed the subject. And she was very insistent that we adopt Lexi right away. Something's going on, Nick. And we need to find out what it is," Sara said, bringing her cup of coffee to the leather couch.  
  
"But Carrie's always been like that. That's what I was trying to tell you before. She gets weird sometimes, but that doesn't mean that she's lying. I mean, look at it from her perspective. She knows that she only has a few months left, and she wants to make sure her daughter is taken care of before she's gone. You would be a little insistent, too," Nick rationalized.  
  
"I know, but I just have this gut feeling that something's going on. Something that goes beyond Lexi, and I want to know what it is," Sara said, "And the first step in figuring that out is to have her tested."  
  
"Sara."  
  
"Nick just trust me on this, okay? We both agreed we would wait to get her tested, and we did. It's been almost two months now. I love Lexi as much as you do, but if we're going to keep her, we're going to need proof that she's yours," Sara insisted, "Please, Nick."  
  
Nick sighed and raked a hand through his short brown hair. "Okay. Tomorrow."  
  
"And we won't tell Carrie?" Sara said.  
  
"We won't tell Carrie."  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N~ Next chapter: Wedding dress shopping, more "Evil Carrie", and of course, Nick and Lexi's paternity test. (Tell me you weren't waiting for that the entire story.come one, just try :-D) But you know what to do if you want it, you have to click on that little purple button down there and tell me what you think!!  
  
~Emily 


	14. Gone

Title: Life and Death  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: ::grabs piece of chalk and begins to write on blackboard:: I DO NOT OWN CSI. I DO NOT OWN CSI. I DO NOT OWN CSI. I DO NOT OWN CSI. I DO NOT OWN CSI. I DO NOT OWN CSI ::laughs as teacher leaves class room and erases every 'NOT'::  
  
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. This chapter is dedicated to Jacqueline, my ever-faithful beta. You rock, Jacqueline!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Carrie Barnes pulled out her cell phone and scrolled down in her address book until she came to the number she was looking for.  
  
"Katie Jenkins."  
  
"Kate? I need your help."  
  
Katie sighed. "What now?"  
  
"I think she's getting suspicious. I was over there before, and I think I messed some things up," Carrie explained, "I don't know what to do."  
  
"Okay, okay. Give me a minute," Katie said, "Did you talk to her?"  
  
"About the wedding? Yeah. She said they were already planning on getting married soon," Carrie said.  
  
"I assumed they were," Katie commented, "But better safe than sorry." She paused. "What about the legal stuff?"  
  
"We didn't really get into the adoption much, but basically she said they hadn't thought that far ahead yet."  
  
"Don't worry; I have the paperwork all ready. All it needs is the signatures," Katie said happily.  
  
"You don't understand, Katie. Getting them to sign it isn't going to be that easy. I told you; she's getting suspicious," Carrie insisted.  
  
"Just leave every thing to me, Car," Katie said, "Things are going to work out fine. Don't worry about anything." She paused. "Listen, I've got to go, but call me tomorrow and we'll work some things out so everything will continue to go smoothly."  
  
"Thanks, Katie. I don't know what I would have done without you," Carrie said.  
  
"You said that last time, and look what happened. That's partly what got you into this mess," Katie teased.  
  
Carrie let out a sigh. "I know, I know. Don't remind me."  
  
"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Katie said, "Bye."  
  
"Bye." Carrie hit the red button and ended the call, leaning her head against the leather upholstery of the vehicle. "I'm in such a mess."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sara, Catherine, Lexi, and Lindsey piled out of the Tahoe and walked up to the door of Rosemary's, a local bridal shop that Catherine insisted Sara buy her wedding dress at.  
  
As they entered the shop a woman in her mid sixties with graying red hair hurried up to them.  
  
"Good morning, ladies," she said in a flowing Irish brogue, "My name's Rosemary. Is there anything I can help you with?"  
  
Sara nodded. "I need a wedding gown, and then we need a bridesmaid dress and two flower girl dresses," Sara explained, "And nothing too frilly or expensive. Simple."  
  
Rosemary smiled. "Of course, darlin'." She led them through racks of dresses, each more beautiful than the next. Finally they came to an area in the back of the store where wedding gowns were hung exclusively along the back wall. "I'll leave you to browse as you wish, and when you find something you think you like, just give me a call and I'll get it down for you." With a nod and a smile Rosemary left the group and went to the front of the store.  
  
Sara walked along the wall, pausing at a few of the dresses, but not finding anything she was crazy about. Lexi trailed close behind, eyes widening with each dress they passed. Sara popped her head up at the sound of Catherine's voice.  
  
"Over here, Sara. This one's nice."  
  
Sara and Lexi walked toward Catherine and Lindsey, stopping at the dress Catherine was referring to. It was a simple but beautiful strapless white dress with two bands of silk ribbon along the bottom of the skirt.  
  
"That's beautiful," Sara said softly, "It's just what I've been looking for."  
  
"I'm the one who found it," Lindsey exclaimed with pride, "And Mommy said it was perfect for you."  
  
"Thanks, Linds," Sara said, "I'll have to try it on. What do you think, munchkin?"  
  
Lexi stared at the beautiful dress with awe. "I think it's the most beautiful dress in the world."  
  
Sara laughed. "It's settled then." She waved her hand for Rosemary to take it off the rack and headed toward the dressing room. Catherine helped her slip the dress on, and carefully buttoned up the back.  
  
When Sara emerged she looked in the mirror and smiled. "I think this is it."  
  
The dress was form fitting at the top, complimenting her figure in all the right places. The flowing skirt brushed the floor at her feet.  
  
"You look like a princess, Sara," Lexi breathed, "The most beautiful princess in the world."  
  
"Thank you, Lexi. Well, Cath? What's the verdict?" Sara asked tentatively.  
  
Catherine was speechless. "All I can say is that you'd be insane not to get it. It's perfect. And I hate you; you're getting the first dress you tried on. I went on God only knows how many shopping trips to find my dress," she teased, "But this dress is amazing. Nick will love it."  
  
"Yeah, Daddy will love it," Lexi piped up.  
  
"Then I guess I have you to thank for finding it for me," Sara said to Lindsey, "You have wonderful taste."  
  
Lindsey grinned. "You're welcome."  
  
"Now we have to get dresses for you three," Sara said.  
  
"Can we get pink ones?" Lexi asked, "Please?"  
  
"You guys have to have the same color dresses as Catherine, because she's the maid of honor," Sara explained, "So it's up to her what color you wear. I don't care."  
  
Lexi and Lindsey turned to Catherine. "Can we please get pink dresses?" Lexi pleaded.  
  
"Yeah, Mommy, can we have pink?" Lindsey chimed in.  
  
Catherine laughed. "I don't care. If you two want pink, then pink it is."  
  
Both girls looked at each other and giggled. They ran ahead of Sara and Catherine towards a rack of child sized dresses. Sara and Catherine laughed and slowly followed the girls, looking at the many racks of bridesmaid dresses as they went.  
  
"This one's nice," Catherine commented, holding up a bright pink dress with sequins sprinkled across the bodice.  
  
"You're kidding, right?" Sara asked disgustedly, "It's hideous."  
  
"Come on, Sara. It's not that bad," Catherine said, putting the dress back on the rack.  
  
"The dress itself isn't bad, but the color is horrible," Sara said, "Soft pink is fine. Not that neon pink crap."  
  
Catherine laughed and moved down the aisle. "You're the boss."  
  
"This is more of what I had in mind," Sara said, holding up a soft rose color dress with two-inch straps and a plunging V-neck.  
  
"That's beautiful," Catherine said, running her fingers over the silky material of the dress.  
  
"And look," Sara said, pointing to the opposite wall, "They have flower girl dresses in the same color."  
  
The two walked over to the aforementioned dresses. The neckline was high- cut and a row of tiny rosebuds framed the waist. The skirt flowed out, which was different that Catherine's straight skirt, but it was perfect for the two little girls.  
  
"Lexi and Lindsey! How about this one?" Sara called, holding up the dresses.  
  
The two girls ran down the aisle and each grabbed a dress.  
  
"It's so pretty!" Lexi squealed.  
  
"I love it!" Lindsey cried.  
  
Catherine laughed and held out her dress. "And it matches mine. Let's go try them on." The group made their way to the dressing room and Sara helped Catherine with her dress while Lexi and Lindsey helped each other. When all three had their dresses on they smiled.  
  
"You guys look beautiful," Sara said, "Those dresses are perfect."  
  
"I love mine," Catherine said with a smile, "How about you two?"  
  
"I love it! It's so pretty," Lexi exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah," Lindsey agreed, "And yours is really, really pretty, Mommy!"  
  
Catherine smiled. "Thank you. So are we getting them?"  
  
Both girls nodded their heads in agreement.  
  
Sara glanced at her watch. "Let's pay for these dresses and go get something to eat. We have to drop Lexi off on the way to the lab, and if we leave now we'll have plenty of time.  
  
Catherine nodded and headed back into the dressing room with Lexi and Lindsey. When they had changed out of the dresses they quickly rang up their purchases and headed towards Friday's for dinner.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sara and Catherine hopped out of the Tahoe and headed towards the door of the Crime Lab. They made their way to the break room and Sara smiled when she saw Nick already there.  
  
"Hey," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a quick kiss.  
  
"Hey, yourself," he said, returning the kiss, "How was shopping?"  
  
"Great. I got a dress," she said with a grin, "And Lexi adores her flower girl dress. She looks so cute in it."  
  
"Speaking of Lexi," Nick said slowly, "Where is she?"  
  
"I had to bring her home, but don't worry," Sara said, revealing a white straw, "I took this from the restaurant."  
  
"It's hers?"  
  
Sara nodded. "Yeah. You ready for this?"  
  
"Uh, am I the only one who's confused here?" Catherine asked, looking at Warrick and Grissom.  
  
"I'm a bit in the dark, too," Warrick said, and Grissom nodded.  
  
Sara squeezed Nick's hand and turned to her co-workers. "We're going to test Lexi's DNA against Nick's to make sure she's his daughter."  
  
Nick gave his friends a half smile. "Yeah, we're going to make sure she's mine."  
  
Catherine gave both Nick and Sara a hug. "This must be really hard."  
  
"It's tough, but we have to do it," Nick said.  
  
At that moment Greg popped his head in the room. "You ready?" he asked.  
  
Nick nodded and followed Greg down the hallway to his lab. He sat down on one of the stools and waited while Greg got a swab ready and took a sample of saliva.  
  
"Okay, now where's Lexi?" Greg asked once he had Nick's sample ready.  
  
"She's not here, but her DNA's on this," Nick said as he handed Greg the straw.  
  
"Got it," Greg said, "Go wait in the break room and I'll find you when I have the results."  
  
Nick stood to leave and turned to his friend. "Greg?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks," Nick said, "This really means a lot to me."  
  
Greg gave him a lopsided grin. "Don't mention it."  
  
Nick walked down the hallway to the break room and sat down on the leather sofa next to Sara.  
  
"All done?" she asked, lacing her fingers through his.  
  
"Yeah. Now all we have to do is wait," Nick answered, glancing at his watch. After what seemed like an eternity, Nick broke the silence in the room. "How long is this going to take?"  
  
"Be patient, Nick," Grissom said, "You know it takes time."  
  
Nick sighed. "It never seems to take this long when its for a case."  
  
Sara squeezed his hand. "I know."  
  
All heads popped up at the sound of Greg's footsteps in the room. Nick and Sara quickly stood and rushed towards Greg.  
  
"Well?" Nick asked.  
  
"I have the results," he said.  
  
"And?" Nick asked impatiently. Greg paused and took a deep breath.  
  
"It was negative."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Carrie popped her head up at the sound of pounding on the door. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was ten o'clock. Wondering who would be at her doorstep at that hour, she slowly rose and made her way to the door. It wasn't even fully open when Sara pushed her way into the room.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are?" she yelled.  
  
"Excuse me?" Carrie said, closing the door behind her.  
  
"You selfish, self-centered bitch!" Sara screamed, "How long did you think it would take before we found out?"  
  
Carrie's eyes grew wide. "F-find out what?" she asked.  
  
"Don't play dumb, Carrie! You know damn well what I'm talking about," Sara snapped, "Nick isn't Lexi's father."  
  
A confused Lexi stood silently in the doorway, tears pooling in her dark brown eyes.  
  
"Shhh," Carrie said, "You'll wake her up."  
  
Sara ignored her. "Why the hell would you do it? What could you possibly have to gain?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand!" Carrie shouted.  
  
Sara laughed icily. "Really? I wouldn't understand? Why is that? Because I don't have kids of my own?" Sara scoffed, "I may not have my own kids, but I love Lexi like a daughter. So does Nick. And I can't think of any reason in the world why you would lie about something like this."  
  
Lexi turned towards her room and slipped on her shoes, wiping the tears that were still falling. She grabbed Nala from the bed and silently made her way past her mother and Sara and crept out the door unnoticed.  
  
"I love Lexi. And I want to make sure she's taken care of when I'm gone. And if that means telling a little white lie then so be it," Carrie said, her eyes full of anger.  
  
"A little white lie?" Sara repeated, "A little white lie is telling someone they look great when they look like shit. A little white lie is not telling a man that a little girl, a beautiful, smart, adorable little girl, is his daughter when she's not. A little white lie is not telling a girl who's been fatherless her entire life that she has a father, a father who would walk through fire for her, when she doesn't," Sara yelled, tears falling steadily and staining her cheeks.  
  
Carrie's rage-filled eyes widened and she pointed an accusing finger at Sara. "You want to talk to me about lying? What about you? Huh?" she screamed, "You lied to ME! You and Nick. You went behind my back and had Lexi tested!"  
  
"If you had been honest in the first place we wouldn't have had to go behind your back!" she screamed back, "This is all your fault!"  
  
Carrie shook her head. "You know what, I don't have to deal with this. Get out of my house!"  
  
"And what about Lexi? Are we just *poof* out of her life forever?" Sara yelled.  
  
"I told you to get out of my house; don't make me ask again," Carrie said through clenched teeth, "Get out."  
  
Sara shook her head and turned towards the door. She heard Carrie quickly head towards Lexi's bedroom and shook her head. 'That's right, Carrie. Hide behind Lexi and play the dying-mother-who-needs-her-daughter card. It's not going to work,' she angrily thought to herself and she walked down the hall. Moments later Carrie came rushing into the hallway.  
  
"Sara!"  
  
Sara turned on her heel and eyed Carrie with contempt. "What now?" she spat with venom, "You gonna try and make me feel sorry for you?"  
  
Carrie shook her head as tears began to stream down her cheeks.  
  
"Sara, she's gone."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ If I were a really mean author I would have ended it when Greg says he has the results, but fortunately for you I'm quite nice. Of course, this ending is somewhat of a cliffhanger, but I'm not *that* nice. Please review and you'll get the next chapter!  
  
~Emily 


	15. Finding Lexi

Title: Life and Death

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Sadly, no interesting disclaimer this time.  So no, I don't own them.

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. 

~*~*~*~*~

Nick gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands as he drove the Tahoe through the streets of Las Vegas.  No matter how hard he thought about what happened, he couldn't believe it.

Lexi wasn't his daughter.

His brain told him that he should have seen it coming, but his heart told him something different.  He had been so sure that she was his.  There had been dozens of clues along the way, but Sara had been the only one to pick up on them.  He had been completely blind to it all.

And now he didn't know what to do.

He loved Lexi, and he wanted her to be a part of his and Sara's family more than anything, but he knew it wasn't going to be that easy.  For one thing, he didn't know if Sara still wanted to share her life with Lexi.  He had thought Sara loved Lexi and would want to be a mother to her no matter what, but as soon as Greg broke the horrible news she had given him a quick "I have to go" and had rushed off, her angry steps on the tile floor the only sound in the lab.  

Everyone knew Lexi, and although not all had met her, they felt her bubbly presence whenever she came to visit Nick and Sara at work.  The lab had grown silent when Greg presented his results.

At a time when he needed her the most, Sara had left him without an explanation.  He assumed she needed some space, some time to think.  He knew this had to be hard for her, but he also knew that he needed her with him.  To get through it.  Her words from the day they spent at the park with Lexi resounded in his head.

_'We're in this together.'_

He gripped the wheel tighter as he rounded a corner.  Sara had said they were in it together, but then she ran off and he had no idea where she went.

His thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ringing of his cell phone.  He pulled the phone from its clip and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Sara's number flash across the screen.

"Hello?"

"Nick, it's me," Sara said.

"I know," he replied, "Where are you?  Where did you go?"

"I just left Carrie's.  I'm in the car now," she explained, and Nick noticed the strain in her voice.

"Sara, you didn't…" he started.  He should have known Sara would go there to tell her off.

"It's not important, Nick," Sara said, her voice heavy with emotion, "Lexi's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?!" Nick cried, worry and fear coursing through his body.

The tears Sara had been trying to hold back began pouring from her eyes.  "I went to Carrie's, and we started yelling, and I guess Lexi heard us because when I was leaving Carrie stopped me and told me she was gone," she sobbed, "It's all my fault, Nick."

"No, no, it's not your fault," Nick said, trying to soothe Sara over the phone while racking his brain to think where the little girl would have gone.

"Yes it is.  I shouldn't have gone over there.  If I hadn't none of this would have happened."

"Sara, listen to me; this is not your fault, okay honey?" Nick said, "Now we have to concentrate on finding Lexi.  Where are you going now?"

"I'm going to the apartment to see if she's there, and Carrie's driving through the neighborhood.  If she's walking she couldn't have gone far," Sara explained, "But Carrie said she knows how the buses work, so she could have taken one.  If she did she could be anywhere."

"Don't be so pessimistic," Nick said softly, "I'll go to the house on the off chance she went there.  We'll find her," he said, trying to convince himself of the fact more than Sara.  "Did you call the police?"

"Brass has uniforms out all over town," she said.

"Good."

He heard Sara still crying on the other line.  "We're never going to find her, Nick.  And it's all my fault."

"We'll find her, " he said again, taking a deep breath, "We have to."

~*~*~

Lexi stared out the window as the bus passed building after building.  She tightened her hold on Nala as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.  She knew that by now they were looking for her, but she didn't care.

They lied to her.

All of them.

~*~*~

Carrie drove through the streets around her apartment slowly, her eyes frantically searching the sidewalks for her daughter.  Although it was late and few people were walking the sidewalks of the residential area, it seemed as if she would never find the little girl.   

Once she stopped the car and rushed up to a young blonde girl holding the hand of another woman, but it wasn't Lexi.  She apologized profusely for grabbing the girl and returned to the black vehicle to continue her search.

_'_How could this have happened?' she asked herself as she rounded another corner.

If she had been honest with Nick in the first place none of this would have happened.  But no, she had to go through the whole charade of lying to him, and to Lexi.

God, she lied to Lexi.

She had never really thought of it that way before, and the idea of lying to her six, almost seven, year-old daughter made her sick to her stomach.  She tried to picture how Lexi must have felt, tried to picture her face falling as she heard that Nick wasn't really her father, and that it was all a big lie.

She remembered Sara's words as the other woman flung them at her, tears streaming down her cheeks.

_"A little white lie is not telling a girl who's been fatherless her entire life that she has a father, a father who would walk through fire for her, when she doesn't."_

Tears fell from her eyes as she realized that Sara was completely right.  She had been selfish, thinking only of herself, not of Lexi, or even Nick.  She had lied to both of them, and the consequences were unbearable.  Lexi was gone, and it was all her fault.

She vowed that as soon as she found Lexi she would change.  She would stop lying and tell Nick the truth.  She would tell him the truth about Lexi, and she would tell him the truth about what happened to their relationship over seven years before.  No matter what Katie said.

~*~*~

Sara pulled up to the apartment and quickly hopped out of the truck.  She ran up the stairs and rushed into the room, hoping to God to find the little girl there.

"Lexi!  Lexi!" she called, but her voice echoed in the empty room.  She collapsed onto the sofa and cradled her head in her hands as she let the tears fall freely.

This was all her fault.  'Me and my stupid temper,' she thought to herself.  If she had just stayed away from Carrie none of this would have happened, and Lexi would still be safe in her bed, not out on the dangerous streets of Las Vegas.

She should have stayed with Nick when he needed her, not run off like that.  This had to have hit him much harder than it hit her, and she had left him to deal with it by himself.  

How would he ever forgive her?  Not only had she left him alone, but by going there she had also caused the child he loved most in the world to run away.  There was only one solution: she had to find Lexi.

She jumped off the couch and walked into the kitchen, checking the answering machine to make sure Lexi hadn't called.  Sadly there were no messages.

She walked through the hallway and stopped at the picture from the carnival.  She softly ran her fingers over the frame and closed her eyes to relive the memory.  She remembered Lexi's words as they had left the carnival that night.

"Thank you for taking me.  It was so much fun.  I think this was even more fun than that day we went to the park."

Sara had known how much Lexi had enjoyed it, because she loved going to the park more than anything.

Suddenly she froze.  She grabbed her car keys and rushed out the door.

She knew where Lexi was.

~*~*~

Carrie shook her head in frustration.  She had been driving around for a half hour, and had covered a radius of four miles around her apartment, and still she hadn't seen Lexi.  There was no way she had walked.  She had to have taken a bus.

She could kick herself for teaching her daughter how to use the bus system.  At the time she had thought it was a valuable life lesson to use if Lexi was ever in trouble and needed a way to get home.  She had never considered it a way for her to run away.

She decided she would go back to the apartment and see if the little girl had gone back home.  She pulled into her designated parking space and rushed up the stairs and into the tiny apartment to find it as empty as it had been when she had left it.

Letting the tears fall as she realized she might never find her little girl, she walked into Lexi's bedroom for some sign as to where she had gone.  She looked over her possessions and saw that only her sneakers, jacket, and Nala were gone, and that there was no note of any kind.  She glanced at the bed and noticed that Lexi had made it before she left, and the fact made the tears come full force.

She collapsed onto her daughter's bed and rolled into a tiny ball, her tears wetting the pink and yellow quilt.

Lexi was gone.  Her Lexi, who loved pink and flowers and playing in the park was gone, and she had no idea where to find her.

Suddenly she sat up and her eyes grew wide.

She knew where Lexi was.

~*~*~ 

Lexi pushed her feet against the ground, making the swing go back and forth slowly.  She held tightly to Nala with one hand and pulled her jacket close with the other.

Looking up at the bleak night sky, she wished she hadn't left, but knew she had to.  People thought that just because she was only six, almost seven, that she didn't have feelings, but she did.  When she found out that her daddy wasn't really her daddy, she was heartbroken.  

What did that mean anyway?  Did that mean he didn't love her anymore?  She was so confused, and so cold, and she wanted to go home, but she knew she couldn't.  She couldn't go home to a mother who lied to her or to a daddy who didn't love her.

She looked up in fear as she heard tires screech to a halt and saw a figure running towards her in the dark.  She jumped off the swing and tried to get away, but stopped when she heard a familiar voice call her name.

"Lexi!"

Sara ran towards her and pulled her into her arms, holding onto her tightly as tears cascaded down face.

When Lexi saw Sara crying tears spilled from her eyes, and Sara ran her fingers over Lexi's hair to soothe her.

"It's okay, munchkin.  It's okay," she whispered, still holding onto her tightly.

"I'm sorry, Sara, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry," Lexi repeated, still crying.

Sara pulled away to look the little girl in the face.  "I want you to listen to me, Lexi, okay?"  Lexi nodded.  "I know that I yelled at your mom tonight, and that she yelled at me, and that we both said some mean things, but none of it is your fault, okay?  Your mom loves you very much, and so do I, and so does your daddy, and none of that is going to change, no matter what happens.  We'll always love you."

Lexi looked down at the doll still clutched in her hands.  "Daddy doesn't love me anymore."

Sara looked at her in shock.  "What do you mean he doesn't love you anymore?  He loves you very, very much.  He's out looking for you right now."

"You and Mommy said that he wasn't really my daddy.  But right before I even met you, Mommy said that all it takes for someone to be a parent is that they have to love you very, very much.  And Daddy loved me very, very much, and that's why he's my dad.  And that's why you're my other mom, because you love me very, very much, too.  And the only way Daddy wouldn't be my dad would be if he stopped loving me."

Sara pulled Lexi into her arms again.  "You're right," she whispered into her hair, "He's your daddy because he loves you, and nothing is going to change that, no matter what any tests say."

"I love you, Sara," Lexi said.  

"I love you too, munchkin," Sara said, and both heads turned as Carrie rushed towards them.

"Thank God I found you," Carrie breathed as she scooped Lexi up in her arms.  "I'm so, so sorry.  I love you.  You know that, don't you?"

"I know," Lexi said.

"And I'm so sorry I lied to you.  I'm gonna change.  I promise.  I'll never lie to you again," Carrie promised, "Or to anyone else."

Sara caught the look cast her way at the last part of Carrie's statement, and she smiled softly in understanding.

"Mommy?" Lexi began.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can we go home?"

Carrie smiled and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her daughter's ear.  "Of course, baby."

"But before that, can we go see Daddy?  I want to tell him I love him," Lexi said.

"I think he'd love to hear that," Sara said with a soft smile.  

Lexi wriggled free of her mother's arms and took her hand, putting out the other one for Sara to take, and the three walked through the park together.

"It's a good thing I found you," Sara said with a teasing glint in her eye, "Because I don't know where I would find another flower girl.  Poor Lindsey would be all alone."

Lexi smiled.  "Is my dress at your house?" she asked.

"Yeah.  And in three weeks you'll get to wear it," she said with a smile.

"Three weeks?" Carrie asked, "You decided on a date?"

"The third.  It's going to be small, just for family and close friends," Sara explained as she opened the door to the Tahoe and got in, "And after that I think a certain someone is having a birthday."  She looked at Lexi and winked.

"You remembered!" Lexi squealed.

"Of course I remembered.  Your dad's been trying to decide how we should celebrate," Sara said with a smile, "I'll see you later, Lex.  I love you."

"I love you too, Sara."  Lexi jumped up and gave her a kiss and a hug.  Sara shut the door and watched Carrie and Lexi fade into the distance as she picked up her cell phone.

"Nick?  We found her."

~*~*~*~*~

A/N~ Was that too corny? Fluffy? Let me know what you think.  Your reviews are what keep me writing.  I've developed an addiction to them!  Anywho, next chapter: The Wedding!!  I think there's only going to be about three more chapters, but if there's enough interest there may be a sequel.

~Emily

(Oh yeah: Since the next chapter is the wedding, I'm going to need a wedding song, obviously, but I can't think of one that's perfect enough for them.  Any suggestions please let me know!! You can email me at ChocolateFrogz@aol.com.  Thank you so much!)


	16. A Month

Title: Life and Death  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, so please don't sue me.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sara sighed in content as she snuggled into Nick, her body pressing against his as her wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the nape of her neck.  
  
"I love you," he whispered in her ear.  
  
She turned in his embrace so she was facing him. "I love you, too."  
  
"Thank you," he said softly, absently trailing his finger along her arm.  
  
"For what?" she asked.  
  
"For finding Lexi," he stated, cupping her chin with his hand and planting a kiss on her lips, "For telling Carrie off." He planted another soft kiss on her lips. "For being you."  
  
Sara's lips curled into a smile as he kissed her again. When Sara left the park, she and Nick had gone home, and Carrie and Lexi had come over. They hadn't stayed long, because the events of the night were taking their toll on all of them, especially Lexi, but Nick was grateful they had come.  
  
Lexi had jumped into Nick's arms as soon as he opened the door, and hadn't let go of him until Carrie pried her away to go home. Even though he wasn't her natural father, he felt so fortunate to be able to love such an amazing little girl.  
  
Sara had told him what she said in the park, and he knew her profound words were true. She didn't call him daddy because he was the biological father that helped make her; she didn't even know what any of that meant. She called him daddy because she loved him.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Sara asked, raking her fingers through his short hair.  
  
"Lexi," he said simply, kissing her again. Sara smiled and kissed him back, but they were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the telephone.  
  
"I'll get that," Nick said, reaching across his fiancée to the nightstand where the cordless phone was sitting. "Hello?" The color drained from his face and his lips were set in a grim line.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sara asked as she sat up, her voice filled with worry.  
  
Nick ignored her. "We'll be right there, sweetie. Don't worry." He hung up the phone and jumped out of bed, throwing on a shirt and a pair of jeans.  
  
"What happened? Who was that?" Sara asked as she got out of bed.  
  
"That was Lexi. Carrie fainted, and they're bringing her to the hospital. This could be the end, Sara."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Nick and Sara rushed into the hospital and immediately spotted Lexi sitting alone on a hard orange chair. Her head popped up when they entered.  
  
"Daddy! Sara!" she cried, running towards them, her eyes red and her cheeks tear-stained.  
  
Nick scooped her in his arms as tears cascaded down her cheeks. "It's okay, sweetie. Everything's going to be okay," he whispered soothingly as he rubbed her back. Sara led them to the chairs and they sat down, Lexi still clinging to Nick. "Now tell me what happened."  
  
Lexi sniffled. "I was so scared. We got home, and Mommy told me to brush my teeth and put on my pajamas, and I did, and when I came out she was on the floor," she sobbed, "And I called 911, like they taught us in school, and then I called you." She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand as a doctor came through the door of the emergency room.  
  
"My name's Dr. Williams. Are you with Ms. Barnes?" he asked.  
  
Nick stood, still holding Lexi, and Sara rose to stand next to him.  
  
"Yeah. How is she?" Nick asked.  
  
"She's fine. We have her stabilized, but we're going to keep her here for a few days for observation. You know her.condition, I assume," the doctor said, choosing his words carefully in front of Lexi.  
  
Sara took the hint and turned to Lexi. "How about you me go get something from the candy machine, okay, Lex?" Sara asked, and the little girl nodded. Sara took her from Nick's arms and they two walked down the hallway.  
  
"As I was saying," Dr. Williams said, "You know that there isn't much time left for Ms. Barnes, but this isn't the end yet. She told me what happened tonight, and I think she just fainted from the stress and anxiety of it all. But she's definitely going to be much weaker now, and she's going to have to be careful not to over-exert herself."  
  
Nick nodded. "And.how much.how much more time do you think she has left?" Nick asked softly.  
  
"I'm not sure exactly, but I'd guess about a month. Not much longer than that. I'm sorry."  
  
Nick took in a deep breath. "Can we see her? Her daughter's really worried. She wants to make sure her mom's all right."  
  
Dr. Williams smiled softly. "Of course. She's in room C313." Without another word he turned and walked back through the doors.  
  
Sara and Lexi walked back to Nick, and Nick crouched down so he was at Lexi's level. "Your mom's going to be fine, Lex. Do you want to see her?"  
  
Lexi grinned and Nick took her hand. Sara took the other and they walked down the hall to find Carrie's room.  
  
When they reached room C313 Lexi rushed towards her mother and wrapped her tiny arms around her.  
  
"I was so scared, Mommy!" she cried, and Carrie kissed her forehead.  
  
"I know, baby. I'm sorry," Carrie said. She turned to Nick and Sara, who were standing in the doorway. "Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Nick said, taking a seat. He motioned for Sara to join him.  
  
"I guess this means we should postpone the wedding," Sara said, "It wouldn't be appropriate to have a wedding in the middle of all this."  
  
"No!" Carrie cried, "No. I don't want you to do that. I-I want everything to be finished before.you know."  
  
"Before what, Mommy?" Lexi asked through a yawn, her tired eyes drooping.  
  
"Nothing, baby," Carrie said, smoothing her daughter's blonde hair.  
  
"Are you sure?" Nick asked.  
  
Carrie nodded. "I'm sure." She paused. "The doctor's said they want to keep me here for a few days, so could Lexi stay with you? I know it's a lot to ask, but-"  
  
"Of course she can stay with us!" Sara exclaimed, "We'd be happy to have her."  
  
"Thanks," Carrie said, "Do you like that, Lex? You can stay with Daddy and Sara for a few days.Lex?" The little girl didn't answer; she was sound asleep.  
  
All three laughed. "She's had a rough night," Sara said, taking Lexi in her arms.  
  
"We should probably go," Nick said, following Sara to the door.  
  
"Nick?" Carrie said softly, "I-I think we need to talk. I owe you an explanation."  
  
"Yeah, you do," Nick said sternly, but not angrily, "But not now. Get some rest."  
  
Carrie nodded as the trio left the room. She sank into the pillows and closed her eyes. "I just hope I don't lose my nerve."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ I know I said this chapter was the wedding, and it was. I have half the wedding done, and it was part of this chapter, but I thought it would be inappropriate to have a happy wedding ceremony in the same chapter as Carrie almost dying. lol. So I promise that next chapter is the wedding! Please read and review!!  
  
~Emily 


	17. Wedding Bells

Sara slammed the phone down angrily.  "Damn him," she muttered under her breath.

 "What's wrong?" Nick asked.

"That was my dad," Sara said, "They're not going to make it for the rehearsal."

Nick put his arms on his fiancée's shoulders.  "Sara, it's not that big of a deal.  We can just go over his part tomorrow morning." 

Sara shook her head.  "That's not why I'm mad.  They're not coming to the rehearsal because my dad refuses to give me away."

"What?" Nick asked in shock, "Why won't he give you away."

Sara shrugged her shoulders as tears pooled in her eyes.  "Because my hippie father is so stuck in his ways and he doesn't believe in a father giving his daughter away."

Nick turned Sara so she was facing him and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

"We'll figure something out," Nick said, "Even if my dad has to give you away."

Sara laughed.  "That'd be a twist.  I've never even met your father."

"He'll love you, don't worry," Nick said with a smile, "And Lexi."

Suddenly Sara pulled away.  "Did you tell your family about…you know, Lexi?"

"You mean that I'm not her father?"  Sara nodded.  "Not yet."

"But you will, right?" Sara insisted, "Nick, you have to tell them."

"I know."

Both Nick and Sara's family knew about Lexi, and couldn't wait to meet her.  Nick's mother always called to ask about 'her little granddaughter' and to see how Carrie was.  Nick hadn't had the heart to tell them the truth yet.

"Nick?" Sara said, a smile spreading across her face.

"Yeah?"

"I think I know who can give me away."

~*~*~

Sara stood in the master bedroom of the house as Catherine fluttered about, making sure everything was perfect.

"Girls, don't do that.  You'll mess up your dresses and your hair," Catherine called to Lexi and Lindsey, who were trying to balance as they walked along the edge of the tub in the master bathroom.

Both girls hopped down and walked towards Sara.

"Hold still, Sara," Catherine advised, "One of the buttons isn't done."  When she finished buttoning it she began applying a last minute coat of lipstick on the younger woman.

"Catherine, you really need to calm down.  I'm the one getting married here," Sara said with a smile.

Catherine sighed.  "Sorry.  Just trying to make sure everything's perfect.  I can't believe how calm you are."

"What do I have to be nervous about?" Sara asked, smoothing the flowing skirt of her dress, "I've been waiting for this day my entire life."

Catherine wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders.  "I'm so happy for you."

They were interrupted by the soft knocking on the doorframe.  "Are you ladies set?  They're ready to begin," Grissom said as he walked into the room.  His eyes glistened over when he saw Sara in her wedding gown.  "Sara, you look beautiful."

"Thanks, Grissom," Sara said sincerely, "For everything.  For giving me away."

Grissom smiled and gently kissed her cheek.  "You're welcome.  Are you positive your father doesn't want to give you away?"

Sara nodded.  "He's going to do the father-daughter dance, but he doesn't believe in giving me away," she said before pausing.  "But I can't think of anyone I'd rather walk me down the aisle."

Catherine walked towards the two with Lexi and Lindsey close behind her.  "We should probably go before poor Nicky thinks you stood him up," she teased.

Sara laughed.  "Okay.  Do you two know what to do?" she asked, turning to the two little girls who clutched their small white baskets containing rose petals that matched the color of their dresses.

Both girls nodded.  "We just walk down the stairs and throw the petals.  Then we go stand on the other side of Uncle Nick and Uncle Warrick and Uncle Greg," Lindsey said.

"Who stands closer to Daddy?" Lexi asked, "Me or Lindsey?"

"You," Sara answered with a smile, "Are you ready, chickies?"

The girls smiled and nodded.

"Then let's get married."  The five walked into the hallway and arranged themselves in order.  As the music began to play, Lexi and Lindsey headed down the stairs, sprinkling rose petals on the cream colored carpet that had been especially laid out for the occasion.  When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Catherine followed, shooting Sara a reassuring smile before she went.

The music changed and Sara linked her arm through Grissom's, taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart.  The nervousness was finally setting in.

"You ready?" Grissom asked as they neared the stairs.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Sara said with a smile as they began the descent of the stairs.

Sara walked down the long, wide stairway and was amazed.  Her close friends and family were all gathered in the large formal living room, which had been filled with white folding chairs adorned with flowers, and the house was decorated beautifully.  She turned down the corner on the stairway and her heart leaped when she saw Nick waiting for her.

His chocolate brown eyes were filled with love and adoration, and she smiled softly at him.  When they finally reached the altar Grissom let go of Sara's arm and put her hand in Nick's.

"Who gives this woman to wed this man?" the minister asked.

"I do," Grissom said, his eyes quickly darting to the front row, where Sara's parents were seated, before turning back to Sara.  He kissed her cheek and sat down in his designated chair.

"You're beautiful," Nick whispered, squeezing her hand.

"So are you," she whispered back.

The ceremony went by beautifully, and finally it was time to recite their vows.

"I, Nicholas Robert Stokes, take you, Sara Caroline Sidle, to be my wife.  I promise you my love without any limits.  To accept the things you believe in and to always try to understand you.  To be near you whenever you need my presence.  To trust in your love for me and pray that it grows stronger every day.  To watch our love grow together through the years.  I promise to soothe your mind and body.  To plan with you, dream with you.  To do my best to show you how much I love you.  For you have become my world, my heart, my life," Nick said, reciting the vows they had written together.

Sara smiled as the tears glistened in her eyes.  "I, Sara Caroline Sidle, take you, Nicholas Robert Stokes, to be my husband.  I promise you my love without any limits.  To accept the things you believe in and to always try to understand you.  To be near you whenever you need my presence.  To trust in your love for me and pray that it grows stronger every day.  To watch our love grow together through the years.  I promise to soothe your mind and body.  To plan with you, dream with you.  To do my best to show you how much I love you.  For you have become my world, my heart, my life."

Warrick handed Nick the ring, and he slipped the gold band on Sara's slender finger.  "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she whispered back as Catherine handed her the ring and she slipped it on Nick's finger.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," the minister said with a smile, "You may kiss the bride."

Nick grinned and pulled Sara to him in a kiss, showing her just how much he loved her.  He pulled away and saw Sara beaming as she laced her fingers through his.

"Ladies and Gentleman, may I introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Stokes.  Go in the name of the Lord."

Nick and Sara walked down the aisle and led the procession upstairs, where they would get ready for the reception while the guests made their way to the backyard, where tables and a dance floor had been set up.

When they reached the top of the stairs Nick wrapped his arms around Sara's waist and kissed her.  "I love you."

"I love you," Sara said, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him back.

"Congrats, guys," Warrick said, "I'm really happy for you both."

"Thanks, Warrick," Sara said with a grin, "I just need to change my shoes and we can join the party."

"Change your shoes?" Nick questioned, "Why do you need to change your shoes."

Sara gave him a flirtatious smile and walked into the bedroom, coming back with a pair of white flip-flops with sequins across the straps.

Greg stared at her incredulously.  "You're wearing flip flops?"

Sara shrugged her shoulders.  "You didn't expect me to wear these uncomfortable things all night, did you?" she asked, pulling off one of the shoes and handing it to Nick, "The flip flops were Cath's idea."

The entire wedding party turned to Catherine.  "What?  I changed into flip flops at my wedding."  At their blank stares she continued, "Hey, you want to wear shoes like that all night, be my guest."

"We get to wear flip flops, too, Daddy!" Lexi chimed in.

"Yeah.  Ours have roses on them," Lindsey added, holding up one of her shoes.

Nick laughed.  "Okay.  Well are you two ready?" Both young girls nodded.  "And how about you, Mrs. Stokes?  Are you ready to go to our wedding reception?" he asked, offering Sara his elbow.

"I'd love to, Mr. Stokes."

They walked down the stairs and through the house until they reached the French doors that led to the backyard.

"Daddy, can we go out now?  I want to eat wedding cake," Lexi said.

"We have to wait until they call us, sweetie," Nick said, "But you can't have cake now anyway.  You have to eat dinner first."

The DJ glanced in the direction of the house and saw that they were ready.

"And if I could have your attention, ladies and gentleman, I would like to introduce our wedding party," he boomed into the microphone, "First we have our Maid of Honor, Ms. Catherine Willows, escorted by our Best Man, Mr. Warrick Brown."

Warrick and Catherine walked through the doors and into the backyard as the guests applauded.  They took their seats and the DJ continued.

"And next we have our two beautiful flower girls, Miss Alexandra Barnes and Miss Lindsey Willows, escorted by Groomsman Greg Sanders," he continued to boom, and Greg led the giggling girls out, one on each arm.

"And now, if everyone will please stand," he said, pausing while everyone rose from their seats, "I'd like to introduce your Bride and Groom.  Ladies and gentleman, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Nick and Sara Stokes."

Nick and Sara walked through the doors and into the party while everyone applauded.

"And now, ladies and gentleman," the DJ said, his voice softening, "It's time for the bride and groom to share their first dance."

The soft music filled the air and Nick took Sara in his arms as they began to gently sway to the music.

All I am, all I'll be  
Everything in this world, all that I'll ever need  
Is in your eyes, shining at me  
When you smile I can feel all my passion unfolding  
  
Your hand brushes mine  
And a thousand sensations seduce me 'cause I  
  
I do, cherish you  
For the rest of my life  
You don't have to think twice  
I will, love you still, from the depths of my soul  
It's beyond my control  
I've waited so long to say this to you  
If you're asking do I love you this much, I do  
  
In my world before you  
I lived outside my emotions  
Didn't know where I was going  
Until that day I found you  
How you opened my life to a new paradise  
  
In a world torn by change  
Still with all of my heart, until my dying day  
  
I do, cherish you  
For the rest of my life  
You don't have to think twice  
I will, love you still, from the depths of my soul  
It's beyond my control  
I've waited so long to say this to you  
If you're asking do I love you this much, yes I do  
  
I've waited so long to say this to you  
So, if you're asking if I love you this much, I do  
Oh, I do

The song ended and another one began and Nick pulled Sara into a tender kiss.  They walked towards their table and sat down, their fingers laced with each other.

Soon the meal was served, only chicken and pasta dishes at Sara's insistence, and more and more people made their way to the dance floor.  Once dinner was over, the DJ took the microphone and announced the father-daughter dance.  Sara's eyes found her father's and she smiled.  They walked onto the middle of the dance floor and danced as the music played.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you away, Sara," he said softly as they swayed to the music, "I just—don't believe a woman is her father's property to give away."

"I know," Sara said.

"And I know that we haven't always had the best relationship," he began slowly, "But I do love you.  You know that, don't you?"  Sara nodded.  "And you'll have a good life with this Nick guy.  I can tell," he said with a soft smile, "And that little angel."
    
    _I see trees of green, red roses too_
    
    _I see them bloom for me and you_
    
    _And I think to myself, what a wonderful world_
    
    _I see skies of blue and clouds of white_
    
    _The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night_
    
    _And I think to myself, what a wonderful world_
    
    _The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky_
    
    _Are also on the faces of people going by_
    
    _I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"_
    
    _They're really saying "I love you"_
    
    _I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow_
    
    _They'll learn much more than I'll ever know_
    
    _And I think to myself, what a wonderful world_

_Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world_

"Congratulations, Sara," he said as the song ended, and gently kissed his daughter's cheek.

"Thanks, Daddy," Sara said.

Sara let go of her father as the tray that held the wedding cake was wheeled to the center of the dance floor.  Nick walked up to Sara and stood beside her as the DJ grabbed the microphone.

"And now, ladies and gentleman, the bride and groom will cut their wedding cake," he said, "And while they're doing that, a friend of the lovely couple requested that I play this very special song."

Nick handed Sara the knife as the song began to blast from the speakers.

Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside 

Nick and Sara stared at each other in shock as they heard what was playing.

"Greg!" they shouted in unison, and the lab tech grinned as he turned down the music.

"Just kidding guys, just kidding," he laughed, changing the music to a classical piece.

"You're dead, man," Nick warned, but Greg just shrugged his shoulders.

Sara took the knife and Nick placed his hand atop hers, and together they made the first slice in the cake.  When they cut a piece and placed it on the plate, Nick took a fork from the table and broke off a piece.  He brought the cake to Sara's face to feed her, but quickly changed his mind and stuck it on her nose.

Sara's eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth in shock and the guests laughed.  "You're gonna regret that, Stokes," she said as she picked up the rest of the cake and held it warningly in front of him.

"You wouldn't," he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Watch me," she said as she slammed the cake in his face.  The guests howled as Nick wiped the cake from his eyes.

"I think chocolate looks good on you, Nicky," Sara teased as she kissed a piece of cake from the tip of his nose.  Nick took his thumb and ran it across her cheekbone, wiping cake on her cheek.

"And I think frosting looks good on you," Nick replied as he kissed her tenderly.

"Save it for the honeymoon!" Warrick called as the guests applauded, "I want some cake!"

Nick and Sara laughed as they pulled away, and Sara grabbed a white linen napkin to wipe the cake from Nick's face.  A caterer came and quickly rolled the cake away to begin cutting it and distributing it to the guests.

"I'm gonna go wash this off inside, and then I promised Lexi a dance," Nick said as he placed the soiled napkin on the table.

"Okay," Sara said, "I promised one to Warrick, too."

Nick eyed her in mock suspicion, "Should I be worried?"

"Hmm, maybe," Sara teased as she turned and went in search of her friend.  Nick laughed and walked through the backyard, accepting many handshakes and congratulations on the way.

When he finally made his way to the kitchen, he grabbed a dishtowel and washed the cake off his face.  He looked out the window above the sink and smiled when he saw his wife dancing with Warrick.

"It was a beautiful wedding," he heard Carrie's voice say from behind, "Congratulations."

Nick turned and saw the blonde woman in the wheelchair the doctors had ordered she stay in whenever possible.

"Thank you," he said, drying his hand and tossing the towel on the counter.

"I-I was wondering if we could talk?" Carrie asked softly, "About, you know.  Everything that's happened."

Nick put one hand on the counter and one on his hip.  "Carrie, as much as I'm anxious to hear your excuse for all this," he began, "This is my wedding day.  I really don't think this is the time or place."

"When will it be the time or place, Nick?" she demanded, "I'm running out of time.  There are things that need to be said, and I have to say them before it's too late."

Nick sighed audibly.  "I know that, Carrie.  But today I don't want to think about my past with you," he explained, "I want to think about my future with Sara.  And if you'll excuse me, there's a beautiful little girl I have to dance with."

He walked through the French doors to the patio in search of Lexi.  He spotted her on the dance floor, dancing with Greg while she stood on his feet.  Nick smiled and walked toward them.

"May I cut in?" he asked.

"Of course," Greg said, "But you owe me a dance later, Lex."

"I know, Uncle Greg," Lexi replied as she grabbed Nick's hands and stepped on his feet.

"How 'bout we do this instead, Lex?" Nick suggested as he scooped Lexi in his arms.

"Okay," the blonde girl said, resting her head against Nick's shoulder as the song changed.

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.  
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.  
I guess you'd say  
What can make me feel this way?  
My girl (my girl, my girl)  
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

"I'm glad you and Sara got married, Daddy," Lexi said, her voice muffled against Nick's collar, "Today was really fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it.  You made a beautiful flower girl," Nick said, holding his daughter close to his chest.

"Thanks, Daddy.  You made a handsome groom."

_I've got so much honey the bees envy me.  
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.  
I guess you'd say  
What can make me feel this way?  
My girl (my girl, my girl)  
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).  
__My Girl_

Warrick smiled as he watched Nick dancing with Lexi.  The little girl's arms were wrapped around his neck, and his arms were wrapped around her back, holding her to him.

His gaze shifted across the yard to each of the tables, until finally his eyes rested on one completely empty, except for one person, watching the same scene he had.

"Hey, Linds,"  Warrick said, walking up to the girl sitting by herself, "What are you doing sitting over here by yourself?"

Lindsey looked up to him and sniffled, wiping her eyes with her hand, "Nothing," she said, looking down at her feet as a tear traced a path across her cheek.

"Hey, hey, c'mere," he said soothingly, taking the crying girl into his arms, "What's wrong?  You can tell me."

"It's just," she began as the tears began to fall freely from her eyes, "I miss my daddy.  He used to dance with me like that," she said, pointing to Nick and Lexi, "I wish he was here."

"I know, Linds," he said, rubbing her back comfortingly as she cried, "It's okay.  It's okay."

"And that was the song he always played for me," she said.  "I really miss him, Uncle Warrick."

"I know, sweetie.  He was good to you, wasn't he?" he asked, and Lindsey nodded with a sniffle.  He knew that Eddie had treated Catherine terribly, and he resented him for that, but he also knew that he had treated his daughter like an angel on earth.  

He held Lindsey at arm's length and wiped her eyes with his thumbs.  "You gonna be okay?" he asked, and she nodded, casting her eyes to the floor.

"Then how about you and me go show them how it's done?"

Lindsey looked up at Warrick and smiled, taking his hand as he led her to the dance floor.

_I don't need no money, fortune, or fame.  
I've got all the riches, baby, one man can claim.  
I guess you'd say  
What can make me feel this way?  
My girl (my girl, my girl)  
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)_

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day  
with my girl.  
I've even got the month of May  
with my girl  
  
___

The song came to an end and Warrick kissed Lindsey's cheek.  "I love you, Linds."

"I know.  I love you too, Uncle Warrick," Lindsey said, tightening her grip around his neck, "Thank you for dancing with me."

"Anytime," he replied, setting her on the ground.  Lindsey ran across the floor to where Lexi was still dancing with Nick.

"Lexi!  Do you want to go help me find Greg?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah!" Lexi exclaimed.  Turning to Nick she said, "Is it okay, Daddy?"

Nick nodded.  "Sure."

Lexi wriggled free of his arms and grabbed Lindsey's hand.  Together the two girls ran away in search of Greg.

"Look at them," Sara said, coming up behind him and snaking her arms around his waist, "They're having so much fun together."

"Yeah, they are," Nick agreed.

"I think the day was a success," Sara teased as Nick turned her in his arms so he was facing her.

"I couldn't agree more, Mrs. Stokes," he teased back.

"So.  You ready for the honeymoon?" Sara asked.  Nick's face broke into a grin and he captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

That was the only answer she needed.

~*~*~*~

A/N~ Whew!  That chapter took me a long time to write, but it's finally done!  And to all my fellow Snickers, I've been keeping up my "page a day" goal.  So far so good.  The song used for Nick and Sara's wedding song was "I Do (Cherish You)" by Mark Wills.  There's also a version by 98 Degrees, but I personally like the country one better, and I figured our favorite Texan would agree with me.  Thank you to everyone for your wonderful suggestions.  The father-daughter dance song was "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.  And the song that Nick and Lexi and Warrick and Lindsey danced to is "My Girl" by The Temptations.  I think that's about it.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Don't forget to review!!!

~Emily


	18. Honeymoons and Birthdays

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, or it's characters. I also don't own Harriet the Spy, Finding Nemo, Master of Disguise, or F.A.O. Schwarz. Wish I did, though..  
  
Author's Note: I forgot to mention in my last author's note that Chapter 17 and it's 'Eminem line' were for my fellow Snickers. I couldn't resist putting that in. lol Also, this chapter is another shameless plug for my wonderful beta, Jacqueline, and her brilliant 'Crimes' series. Jacqueline, this chapter's for you!  
  
Also, just in case you haven't guessed, I changed my name. I was just tired of having the '8' attached to it. And to whoever nominated this story for Best Drama and Made For Each Other for Best AU Fic, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'm so flattered.you have no idea how happy you made me!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sara and Nick made their way through the throngs of people in the airport, their eyes looking through the crowds to find Catherine. Finally they spotted her sitting on a bench, Lexi and Lindsey holding up a sign that read "Mr. and Mrs. Stokes".  
  
They pushed their way through people until they finally reached the bench. When Lexi saw them she left Lindsey with the sign and ran towards them.  
  
"Daddy! Sara!" she cried, hugging them both. "Did you have fun on your honeymoon?"  
  
"We had a lot of fun," Nick said, smiling suggestively at Sara, whose face was tinged with pink. In lieu of a real honeymoon, the couple had spent the weekend in New York, and planned to go to Hawaii in a few months once things had settled down.  
  
"What did you bring me?" she asked.  
  
"What did we bring you?" Nick asked, feigning shock, "What makes you think we brought you anything?"  
  
"Come on, Daddy," she whined, grabbing his sleeve, "You had to bring me SOMETHING."  
  
"Okay, maybe we did bring you something, but you have to wait until tomorrow to get it," Nick said.  
  
"What's tomorrow?" Lexi asked curiously.  
  
"Only the biggest birthday bash of the year," Sara teased.  
  
"You mean you're throwing me a party?" Lexi squealed, and Sara and Nick nodded, "Can Uncle Greg come?"  
  
"Yup," Sara answered, "Everybody's coming. Greg, Warrick, Grissom, Catherine, Lindsey, and your friend Krista's flying in with her mom tomorrow morning."  
  
"Wow!" Lexi exclaimed, "You guys are the best!" She turned to Lindsey, who was walking towards them with Catherine. "Lindsey, you're coming to my birthday party tomorrow."  
  
"I know," the other girl stated, "I was supposed to keep it a surprise."  
  
"So everybody knew except me?" The group nodded. "No fair!"  
  
Catherine laughed. "Well, we'd better get going. We have to be at work in a few hours."  
  
Nick and Catherine each took a bag, and Sara grabbed the hands of both girls as they walked out of the airport.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sara tied a yellow ribbon around the last balloon and attached it to the fence post. She stood back and admired the work they had done all morning in decorating the yard.  
  
Balloons were scattered around the yard, attached to the fence, chairs, and tables, and a 'Happy Birthday!' sign was hung on one side of the fence. Lexi was sitting at the picnic bench with Carrie, putting chips in baskets. She was wearing her favorite dress: a sleeveless sundress with a white top and lavender checked skirt, framed at the waist by tiny tulips.  
  
Nick walked into the yard and up to Sara, two bottles of soda in hand. "It looks good," he commented, "Two parties out here in less than a week," he said with a smile, putting the bottles down on the table next to his wife.  
  
"Yeah," Sara said, "Thank God we started unpacking before the wedding, or we never would have had time to get this ready."  
  
"Plus the fact that Catherine and everyone unpacked some more when we were away," Nick added.  
  
"Yeah, that helped a lot." Sara glanced down at her watch. "They should be here soon. We told everyone two o'clock."  
  
Their heads turned at the creaking sound of the gate opening. A woman they had never seen before popped her head in the backyard, followed by a little girl with raven black hair.  
  
"Krista!" Lexi called, abandoning chip duty to greet her friend. She pulled the other girl into a hug. "I missed you so much!"  
  
"I know," Krista said, "I missed you too. Happy Birthday."  
  
Lexi grinned. "Thanks. Come on. You can meet my Daddy and Sara." Lexi led her across the yard.  
  
"Daddy, Sara, this is my friend Krista," Lexi introduced, "Krista, this is my Daddy and Sara. Sara's my other mom."  
  
Sara was touched by the young girl's words and smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Krista."  
  
"It's nice to meet you too," the girl said shyly.  
  
Nick and Sara walked across the yard to where Carrie had wheeled her chair and was now talking to the other woman.  
  
"Hi. I'm Lori Donavan. I'm Krista's mother," the woman in her mid- twenties introduced, "Thank you so much for inviting us."  
  
"We're glad you could come," Nick said, "I'm Nick Stokes, and this is my wife Sara." He smiled at how easily the phrase rolled off his tongue.  
  
"Carrie's told me a lot about you," Lori said, smiling.  
  
Nick glanced briefly at Carrie before motioning to the picnic table. "Why don't you and Carrie go sit down while I get the burgers?" Nick suggested, and Sara glared at him, "Don't worry; there are some veggie burgers for you," he said, setting off for the kitchen.  
  
Sara stood awkwardly as Lori and Carrie began walking towards the picnic table, chatting about what was going on in Dallas. "I'll, uh, go finish setting up," she stammered, "Lindsey should be here soon."  
  
"Lindsey?" Lori questioned.  
  
"Lexi's friend. She's a little older, but they've really hit it off," Carrie explained, "Lindsey's mother works with Nick and Sara. She was Sara's maid of honor."  
  
"How nice," Lori commented, and Sara forced a smile.  
  
"I really should finish getting ready," she said, grabbing two baskets of chips from the picnic table and walking towards the kitchen.  
  
"Why do I feel like a third wheel in my own home?" Sara asked Nick as he passed her on the patio. He merely laughed.  
  
"Don't worry about them," Nick said, "Everyone else will be here soon, and it won't be so awkward."  
  
As soon as the words left his mouth they heard the creaking of the gate as Lindsey bounded into the backyard, followed by Catherine.  
  
"Lindsey!" Lexi called when she saw her friend arrive, "Come here. I want you to meet my friend Krista." Lexi took the older girl's hand and led her to the other side of the yard to introduce her to Krista.  
  
Catherine placed a large gift bag on the white table next to the gate and walked over to give Sara a hug.  
  
"Hey, Sar," she greeted. "The yard looks great!"  
  
"Thanks," the brunette replied, turning to the other guests. "Cath, this is Lori Donavan. She's Lexi's friend Krista's mom. And you know Carrie. Lori, this is my friend Catherine."  
  
"Nice to meet you," Lori said, rising to shake Catherine's hand.  
  
"Likewise," Catherine said, shaking her hand. "And it's nice to see you again, Carrie." Carrie nodded.  
  
"Lindsey's been having a ball with Lexi," Catherine added with a smile, "She just loves her."  
  
"I know. Lexi talks about your daughter all the time," Carrie said.  
  
Catherine smiled and sat down on one side of the picnic table. "Where's everyone else?" she questioned.  
  
Sara shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. They should be here soon, though."  
  
Nick walked over to the group with a smile. "Hey Cath," he greeted, wrapping the woman in a hug.  
  
"Hey yourself," the blonde replied, "How's married life treating you?"  
  
Nick grinned. "Couldn't be happier."  
  
Lexi and her friends rushed over to the group, out of breath and with red faces from running. "When are we eating?" Lexi asked. "I'm hungry."  
  
"Yeah, me too," Lindsey added.  
  
"Me three," Krista chimed in.  
  
Nick laughed. "I was going to wait until everyone else was here, but they're late, so I guess we could start without them. What do you want: burgers or dogs?"  
  
"Burger!"  
  
"Hot Dog!"  
  
"Cheese!"  
  
The three girls shouted out requests animatedly, and everyone smiled.  
  
"Okay: That's a burger for Lexi, a hotdog for Krista, and a cheeseburger for Miss Lindsey," Nick confirmed. "Got it. And what about you lovely ladies?"  
  
"I'll have a cheeseburger," Lori said.  
  
"Same here," Catherine added.  
  
"Cheese dog?" Carrie requested.  
  
"Should have guessed," Nick commented with a teasing glint in his eye, "You always had a weakness for those."  
  
Carrie smiled. "Among other things."  
  
Nick laughed. "Some things never change."  
  
"Ahem," Sara caused, obviously annoyed with their banter, "I'll have a Veggie Burger. You should remember THAT one."  
  
Nick immediately cringed at Sara's harsh words, and followed her as she headed towards the kitchen.  
  
"Trouble in paradise?" Lori asked, looking back and forth between the two women seated near her.  
  
"I blew it again, didn't I?" Carrie said. Catherine offered a half-smile but didn't say anything.  
  
"Sara wait!" Nick called, and Sara paused, her hand on the door. "I'm sorry."  
  
Sara crossed her arms across her chest. "You don't get it, do you?"  
  
"Sara, I-"  
  
"Do you realize what she did to you?" she snapped, keeping her voice hushed.  
  
"I know, but-"  
  
"She used you, Nick. She used both of us. And here you are flirting with her!" she exclaimed almost in a whisper, "We haven't been married for a week and already you're flirting with another woman. But no, not any woman," she continued, "Carrie! God, you're disgusting!"  
  
Sara turned the handle on the door and walked into the kitchen, Nick close behind her.  
  
"Honey, I'm sorry." He grabbed her arm and turned her so she was facing him. Her face softened when she saw the sincerity in his eyes. "I love you," he said, kissing her cheek softly. "And I wasn't flirting. Not intentionally."  
  
Sara dropped her head against his so their foreheads were touching. "I know," she said in resignation, "It's just that goddamn Texan charm of yours." Nick laughed and pulled her to him in a kiss.  
  
"You ready to go back out there?" Nick asked.  
  
Sara nodded. "Just stop trying to act like everything's normal, okay? We can't ignore what she did."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Okay." Sara gave her husband a quick peck on the lips and grabbed the salad bowl from the counter, walking through the doors and onto the patio, Nick following her.  
  
When they arrived outside, Grissom, Greg, and Warrick had arrived, and Warrick was standing by the grill, spatula in hand. Grissom was seated next to Catherine, and Greg had been roped into a game of ultimate Frisbee with the three giggling girls, he and Lexi against Krista and Lindsey.  
  
"Hey guys," Nick greeted when he saw his friends.  
  
"Hey, man," Warrick replied, handing Nick the spatula, "Cath wasn't sure how long you two would be in there, so she stuck me with grill duty. But seeing as how you're back, I guess I can enjoy the party."  
  
"Thanks," Nick said sarcastically, taking the spatula and swatting his friend with it, who merely laughed.  
  
"Hey Warrick," Sara said, wrapping her friend in a hug.  
  
"Hey Sar."  
  
"Everything looks great," Grissom said, rising to hug Sara.  
  
"Thanks, Griss," Sara said, "I'm guessing everyone's been introduced?"  
  
"Yeah, Catherine did the honors," Carrie said, "Listen, Sara, about that-"  
  
"Don't worry about it," Sara said as Nick came over with the tray stacked with burgers and hotdogs, some smothered in cheese.  
  
"Food's done!" Nick called to the girls, who quickly ran over, Greg chasing after them.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Lexi sat cross-legged on her chair, her lavender dress now covered in dirt and her hair blond hair tangled from hours of running around, surrounded by birthday presents.  
  
"This one's from Lindsey and Catherine," Sara read, handing the card to Carrie, who was making a list of the gifts to send thank-you's.  
  
Lexi pulled a pink short-sleeved shirt with silver embroidered flowers along the neckline and a pair of white Capri pants with the same floral print from the bag.  
  
"They're so pretty!" Lexi exclaimed, holding the outfit out for everyone to see.  
  
"How cute!" Lori commented, reaching for the shirt.  
  
"I love it, Lex," Sara said with a smile.  
  
"What do you say to Catherine and Lindsey?" Carrie prodded, and Lexi turned to her friend and Catherine.  
  
"Thank you!"  
  
"You're welcome," Catherine said with a smile.  
  
"I picked them out!" Lindsey announced proudly. Lexi grinned.  
  
"This one's from me, Lexi," Grissom said, handing the little girl a small wrapped package with a Toys R Us gift card taped to the front.  
  
"Wow! Thirty Bucks!" Lexi shrieked, tearing the gift card from the top and handing it to Sara. She quickly tore into the paper, and held out a hardcover copy of 'Harriet the Spy' by Louise Fitzhugh.  
  
"Harriet the Spy," Catherine commented approvingly, "Nice choice."  
  
"Thanks Mr. Grissom!"  
  
"What did I tell you about that, Barnes?" Grissom teased good-naturedly, "Just Grissom."  
  
Lexi blushed and stood to give him a hug. "Thanks, Grissom."  
  
Lexi opened the rest of her presents and received an Easy Bake Oven from Warrick, "Jacqueline told me that her niece loved hers," he had explained, referring to his girlfriend, who had been touring the country for the past month to promote her recently published bestseller, 'Crimes of Indecency', and a Game Boy from Greg. Krista and Lori bought her a copy of 'The Master of Disguise' on DVD. Carrie had chosen to give her daughter her present in private, and was saving it for when the guests left.  
  
"Is that it?" Lexi asked slowly, knowing that Nick and Sara hadn't given her their present yet.  
  
"I think so," Nick teased, "What do you think Sara? Do you think we forgot anything?"  
  
"Hmm," Sara said, playing along, "I don't know. I think that's it."  
  
"Daddy! Sara!" Lexi whined, "What about the one from you? The one you said I had to wait until today to get?"  
  
"You sure you want that one?" Nick asked, gaining a look from Lexi that clearly stated that she was tired of the games. Nick laughed at his daughter's expression. "Okay, okay. Let me go get it." He retreated into the house and came back a moment later with a huge gift bag, placing it at Lexi's feet.  
  
Lexi flung the tissue paper out of the bag and pulled out a huge stuffed fish.  
  
"It's Dori!" she exclaimed happily, "From 'Finding Nemo'!"  
  
"Do you like it?" Sara asked. "It was the last one at the Disney Store on 5th Avenue."  
  
"I love it!" she exclaimed. "What's this?" she asked, spotting an envelope in the bottom of the bag.  
  
"That's a gift certificate for F.A.O Schwarz," Sara explained, "It's the biggest toy story in the world."  
  
"We got you that so we can go to New York together sometime, and you can get whatever you want," Nick said, grinning.  
  
"Thanks, Daddy. Thanks, Sara," Lexi said, giving them both a hug and a kiss.  
  
"That's not it," Nick said with a glint in his eye.  
  
"It's not?"  
  
"Nope," Nick said, his smile growing, "Sara, do you want to go get it?" Sara nodded and headed for the house, not able to suppress her grin.  
  
"You have to close your eyes, Lex," Sara called over her shoulder, "No peeking!"  
  
Lexi did what she was told and covered her eyes with her hands. Everyone gasped as Sara walked out with a full-grown dog. "Open!" Sara called as she let go of the dog's collar and he rushed towards Lexi, licking her face and wagging his tail excitedly.  
  
"A dog!" she squealed, scratching behind his ears and petting him. "What kind is he?"  
  
"He's a mutt," Nick said, "We got him from the shelter yesterday, and Warrick let us keep him at his place until this morning," he said, smiling as Lexi, Krista, and Lindsey all pet the excited dog at once. "They said he was a pitt mix, but he's the calmest, most well-mannered dog I've ever seen. He hasn't barked once since we've had him, and he's been in his crate in the basement until now."  
  
"What's his name?" Lindsey asked.  
  
"His name's Simba," Sara said, "But you can change it if you want, Lexi."  
  
Lexi shook her head. "No, I like it." Simba rolled over and the girls scratched his belly.  
  
"You're a good boy, Simba," Krista said as the dog squirmed in the grass, relishing in the attention he was being given.  
  
Nick wrapped his arms around Sara's shoulders as they watched the girls playing with the dog. Suddenly Sara turned to Nick, eyes wide. She motioned him with her finger a few paces from the group, whose attention was on Simba.  
  
"Nick, we forgot a cake," she whispered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I didn't get a birthday cake. Did you?" she asked frantically.  
  
"No, I thought you did," he said.  
  
Sara rubbed her temple. "Look, go run out to the bakery and pick something up," she said, "They're preoccupied with the dog right now; they won't notice you're gone. Just hurry."  
  
"Okay," Nick said, checking his pocket to make sure the keys to his Tahoe were there, "I'll be back in twenty."  
  
Sara watched as he quickly exited the yard through the gate and rejoined the group, where Greg had grabbed the Frisbee from earlier in the afternoon and was throwing it to Simba, who happily chased after it while the rest of the guests watched.  
  
She noticed Carrie holding her head up with one hand, her face looking pale as she tried to stand up and join everyone playing with the mutt. She saw the other woman sway and reach for the arm of the wheelchair and Sara rushed towards her, but it was too late.  
  
With a thump Carrie fainted and fell to the ground.  
  
"Call 9-1-1!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ Not too many reviews for the last two chapters. Are you guys losing interest? I promise: this is the beginning of the end. I think there may only be two chapters left, but I didn't write them yet, so I'm not sure. Possibly three.  
  
Simba is based on my dog, Boomer, who is the calmest, quietest, most easy- going dog I've ever met. And I've met a lot. Most people can't believe that he's a pitt mix, because he's so laid back.  
  
I apologize to Trace-Element for Greg giving Lexi a Game Boy, but I couldn't think of anything that would "Greg-like" for him to give her. Sorry. And I wasn't sure if Grissom should give her 'Harriet the Spy', because she's only seven, but my six year old cousin is halfway through the 'Little House on the Prairie' series, so I think Lexi can handle 'Harriet the Spy'. lol And I know that 'Harriet the Spy', 'LH on the P', 'Finding Nemo', and 'Master of Disguise' should be italicized, but whenever I save my documents as .html it always gets these huge gaps in between paragraphs, so I try to avoid it. Sorry to all you grammar people out there. ^_^  
  
Please read and review!!  
  
~Emily 


	19. Katie

Author's Note~ Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I've never done something like this before, but I got such amazing feedback for the last chapter that I felt I had to:  
  
candaceFABULOUS: Thank you so much for your insight into the story. It really means a lot to me.  
  
Lu Delgado: Hmm.maybe I'll use that! Thanks for the idea!  
  
adpi24: That's it, Brianna! You get the 'worst fanfic reader of the year' award for not reviewing! lol.Don't worry about it.I'm the worst with reviewing stories! And what's not to love about dogs? lol  
  
cRaZyPiXiE: Sorry to disappoint, but it's going to be a lot of Carrie in these next chapters. lol.but don't worry.I won't forget about N/S!  
  
MissyJane: Thanks so much for your continued support of all my stories. It means a lot to me.  
  
A Bloom: Ain't it the truth. Pitts are so sweet.they're just easily trained, so that's why they have such a bad rep.  
  
Padfoot1979: That was probably the last happy chapter in this story. lol Had to squeeze it in while I had the chance! Lol  
  
LynnM: Thanks so much! I had to do something for her.she's the best!  
  
SisterBear: lol Thanks! Glad you enjoy my little ramblings!  
  
To everyone else who reviewed, but who I didn't mention here, thank you so much! Your reviews mean so much to me!  
  
Also~ This chapter starts off where the prologue ended. So, everything before this has kind of been a flashback, and this chapter brings us back to the present, with Nick and Lexi in the hospital. If you're confused, or if you understood it but I confused you with this note, just go back and reread chapter 1, and you'll get it. Sorry for any confusion.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Nick Stokes rushed into the hospital with a look of worry and fear etched across his handsome face. Glancing around the room, he spied the person he was looking for. He walked up to a little girl of about seven years and sat down next to her. She was silently sobbing into a rag doll but looked up when he entered the room.  
  
"It'll be okay, Lex. Everything's going to be okay." At that, she turned to face him, her tiny hands wiping her eyes.  
  
"No it won't. Daddy, I don't want Mommy to go yet." She looked up at him, her big chocolate-brown eyes breaking his heart in two.  
  
"Couldn't you ask God to let her stay for a little longer?" Her request startled him. They had talked about this. She knew that there was nothing any of them could do when the time finally came. Which, inevitably, it had, but it seemed all too soon.  
  
"Come here, shortcake." He pulled her onto his lap and she wrapped her tiny arms around his shoulders. "You know I can't do that, sweetie." He hated that feeling of such helplessness. That feeling of wishing so hard to be able to soothe his baby girl, his little angel, and knowing that all the wishes in the world would never amount to anything. Carrie was going to die, and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it.  
  
As his daughter cried into his shoulder, he thought about the events that brought him here. It had been six months since the whole ordeal began, but it still felt just like yesterday.  
  
From Carrie showing up on his doorstep and introducing him to Lexi, to the days spent at the park and the night at the carnival when he proposed to Sara, to where he was today, he had been through a whirlwind of emotions. From elation and love whenever he was with Lexi, to the heart-wrenching feeling when Greg revealed the paternity test results, to the terrifying, sickening feeling when she run away, to the joy of the wedding and Lexi's birthday party, everything had been leading up to this day, this moment. The moment when losing Carrie forever and taking full responsibility for Lexi became a reality.  
  
He had been leaving the bakery and heading towards the car, Lexi's cake in hand, when the vibrating of the phone alerted him to Sara's call. After placing the white cardboard bakery box on the passenger seat, he had flipped open his phone and answered it.  
  
"Stokes," he had said, sliding into the driver's seat of the Tahoe and closing the door.  
  
"Nick it's me," Sara's voice had said, breaking up slightly, "I'm on my way to Desert Palm."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Carrie fainted, and we couldn't get her to wake up. The ambulance just took her to the hospital, and Lexi and I are on our way there now," Sara had explained, and Nick could hear the strain evident in her voice through the bad reception.  
  
"I'm on my way," he had said, turning the key in the ignition and pulling into the street, "How's Lexi?"  
  
"She's good," Sara had said, her voice breaking up even more as Nick drove through the streets of Las Vegas, "But Nick, you have to hurry."  
  
"I'll be there as soon as I can," he had replied, "Sara?" He could hear a crackling sound in the background but that was it. "Sara, you're breaking up. Tell Lexi I love her and that I'll be there soon," he had said before they were disconnected.  
  
He had driven there as fast as possible, going well over the speed limit. He was just lucky he hadn't been pulled over.  
  
"Hey," Sara said, breaking into his thoughts as she walked down the hall, a coffee and a bag of M&M's in hand.  
  
"Hey," Nick said, trying to force a smile but failing. Lexi untangled herself from Nick's arms and looked up at Sara, sniffling and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.  
  
"How're you doing, munchkin?" Sara asked softly, handing the young girl the bag of candy.  
  
"Okay, I guess," Lexi replied forlornly, staring at the candy in her hands. "How's my mommy?"  
  
Sara sighed and sat down on the chair next to Nick and Lexi. "I don't know, sweetie," she said, tucking a stray strand of blond hair behind the girl's ear.  
  
Nick looked at Sara, his eyes asking the question his heart couldn't. One look into her eyes confirmed his worst fears: this really was the end for Carrie.  
  
"Where's everyone else?" Lexi asked, "Aren't they coming?"  
  
"Krista and her mom went to their hotel. And everyone else is coming by later," Sara explained, "They were going to clean up and take care of Simba before they came."  
  
Lexi nodded and sniffled again, tearing open the bag of M&M's. "This is a pretty crummy way to spend my birthday," she said, gaining a small smile from Nick and Sara.  
  
"It sure is, shortcake," Nick agreed, kissing his daughter's forehead.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Stokes?" a masculine voice called, and they both looked up to see the familiar face of Dr. Williams.  
  
"Yes?" Nick said, rising from the chair while still holding Lexi. "How is she?"  
  
"Not too good," the doctor said sadly, "This." He paused, glancing at Lexi before deciding it was safe to continue. "This is going to be it. I'm sorry."  
  
"Can we see her?" Sara asked.  
  
Dr. Williams bit his lip as he contemplated the situation. "Technically only the child is family."  
  
"Please?" Lexi begged, the tears pooling again in her eyes.  
  
"Alright," Dr. Williams said, offering a soft half-smile, "Room C326. Her sister's already in there." The doctor turned and headed down the hallway while Sara eyed Nick curiously.  
  
"Sister?" she asked as they headed for the elevator, "I thought she was an only child?"  
  
"So did I," Nick said, just as curious as Sara. "Lexi, do you want to push the button?"  
  
The young girl nodded and pressed the round button on the elevator, and they stood back while they waited for it to come. When the doors opened, they stepped inside, and Lexi pushed the button labeled 3.  
  
"Lexi, does your mom have a sister?" Nick asked, and Lexi shook her head.  
  
"No," she said as the doors opened again and they walked down the hallway to room C326, "But he might mean Aunt Katie."  
  
When they reached the room, Lexi wriggled free of Nick's arms and rushed into the room, wrapping her arms around Carrie, who was extremely pale and hooked up to numerous machines.  
  
"Mommy!" she called, and then turned to the corner, where a tall brunette was leaning against one wall. "Hey, Aunt Katie."  
  
Nick's eyes grew wide and the color drained from his face as he saw the other woman who stepped forward from the shadows. "Oh my God. Kate?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ I wasn't planning on leaving it there, but I have to build up some suspense! Don't worry.the next chapter will be up tomorrow, but only if you review!!  
  
~Emily 


	20. Waitresses and Drinks

Author's Note~ Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the next chapter! And I'm sorry that it took me this long to get the chapter out, but I didn't have any time to upload it until now. And to everyone who wanted to know about Kate (which was probably everyone lol) you get your wish in this chapter! Hopefully you already put together that Kate and Katie (from the 'evil Carrie' scenes) are the same person. If not, then now you know! Lol Please R&R!!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Nick stood frozen, his feet planted firmly on the ground, his wide eyes intently staring at the woman in front of him. Sara put a concerned hand on his shoulder, but he was oblivious to her actions. Every fiber in his being was focused on Katie.  
  
"Uh, hey.Nick," Katie said slowly, an awkward smile on her lips. "Long time no see."  
  
"I don't believe this," Nick said absently.  
  
"Nick?" Sara said, worry evident in her voice, "Nick, what's wrong?"  
  
Nick shook his head slightly, finally regaining control of himself. "I don't believe this," he repeated, but this time his voice held an element of anger and disgust.  
  
"Nick, I, um," Carrie said, her voice wavering not only from her weak state but also from her discomfort with the situation.  
  
"Don't."  
  
"What's wrong, Daddy?" Lexi asked, walking over and taking his hand, her brown eyes filled with concern.  
  
"I'm just surprised to see your mommy's friend, that's all," Nick answered, looking Carrie coldly in the eye.  
  
"Sweetie? You want to do Mommy a favor?" Carrie asked, and Lexi walked towards her mother's hospital bed. "Grab my bag from that table and go get me some candy, okay?"  
  
Lexi obliged and grabbed the purse, taking two singles from the wallet and heading out the door and towards the candy machine.  
  
Carrie sighed. "I'm sorry, Nick. I owe you an explanation."  
  
"You're damn right you do!" he yelled, trying to keep his voice down but failing miserably.  
  
"Nick, what's going on?" Sara repeated, walking towards him and rubbing his arm.  
  
He sighed and ran a hand through his cropped hair. "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."  
  
Sara turned to Carrie and Katie. "You want to tell me what the hell is going on?" she demanded, "And who the hell you are?" she added, flinging her words at Katie.  
  
"Katie is my best friend," Carrie explained, "And my attorney."  
  
"Jesus," Nick said, looking up, "You're a lawyer?"  
  
Katie offered a half smile and a shrug.  
  
"And how do you know Nick?" Sara asked Katie.  
  
"Katie's my favorite waitress," Nick said wryly.  
  
"You mean.." Sara let her sentence trail, and Nick nodded. "Wha--?" she stammered, her eyes darting from Carrie to Katie to Nick.  
  
"It was almost eight years ago," Carrie started. "And it was the biggest mistake of my life."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
A twenty-two year old Carrie Barnes sat at a small table in a musty bar, Amstel bottle in hand. She peered through the crowds of people, her eyes searching for her friend. Finally she spotted the person she was looking for as she walked through the door and looked around. Carrie smiled, raising the beer bottle as Katie smiled in return and walked towards her friend.  
  
"Hey!" Carrie greeted, rising to give her friend a hug and a peck on the cheek.  
  
"Hey yourself," Katie replied, shrugging off her leather jacket and slinging it across the back of the chair. "I'll just have what she has," she said to the waitress who stopped at their table, "Thanks."  
  
"Thanks for coming on such short notice," Carrie said, taking a swig of the bottle.  
  
"No problem. What are friends for?" Katie replied with a smile. "So what's up?"  
  
"It's Nick," Carrie started as the waitress brought Katie her drink.  
  
"Ah, the boyfriend," Katie said with a sigh, bringing her own drink to her lips. "Is he number one or two?"  
  
"One."  
  
"So what happened?" the brunette asked, "Did he catch you with Mark or something?"  
  
"No, nothing like that," Carrie said, fiddling with the napkin on the table, "I just need to get rid of him. He's holding me down."  
  
"What do you mean? I thought you said things were working out great the way they were. Nick for the steady relationship, Mark for the teeth- rattling fling."  
  
"I know. They are, I mean, they were," Carrie explained, taking another swig of the beer. "At first I thought it would be fun to move in together, and have that steady kind of relationship, but now it's getting too serious. Nick wants a commitment that I'm not ready to make. But Mark.. Mark's in it for the same reasons I am. He doesn't want any of the heavy obligations of a serious relationship. He just wants to have some fun. So do I."  
  
"So dump him. End of story," Katie suggested.  
  
"It's not that simple, Kate," Carrie insisted, "He works for my dad, and they're really close. I'd be mortified if I had to face him all the time. And my dad definitely wouldn't give up his relationship with him just because I was afraid of the 'C' word."  
  
"I'm not really seeing where I come in," Katie said, taking a swig of the bottle.  
  
"Look around, Katie," Carrie said with a sly smile, indicating all the waitresses clad in tight shirts and short skirts. "What's the one thing no man can resist?"  
  
A grin spread across Katie's face as she understood. "A beautiful woman."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"So what you're saying," Katie began as she leaned forward, a wide smile still playing across her features, "Is that we mess with his head a little. Make him think he's to blame."  
  
"Right. And that's why I need you," Carrie said, eager to share the plan she had formulated, "You're the bait. You're the only one of my friends he hasn't met, so it'll work out perfectly." She took a final gulp of her beer and placed the bottle on the table.   
  
"I told him that this Friday I'm going away for a girl's weekend, and I suggested that he have a boy's night at O'Leary's," she continued, mentioning the local pub that Katie waitressed at to supplement her funds for law school. "You just have to hook him and reel him in, and I'll come home early to 'surprise' him, and catch him in the act. And that will be that," she concluded with a triumphant smile.  
  
"So basically you want me to seduce him into taking me back to your place?" Katie said, waggling her eyebrows teasingly at Carrie, who nodded in affirmation. "Is he cute?"  
  
Carrie sighed. "Stay with me, Kate. You're helping me dump him, not finding him a replacement girlfriend."  
  
Katie pouted but quickly brightened. "What's his name again?"  
  
"Nick."  
  
"To Nick, then," Katie said, raising her bottle in a toast. Carrie followed suit, and the glass clinked as they sealed their plan.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sara stared blankly at Carrie when she finished her story. Nick held his head in his hands, rubbing his temple. No one knew what to say.  
  
"So, what happened next?" Nick asked, raising his head and breaking the awkward silence. "After you used me, lied to me, and made me feel like complete shit, that is."  
  
Carrie winced at Nick's harsh tone, but knew that she deserved it. "After . . . that night, I asked Daddy to fire you, so I wouldn't have to see you anymore. He was more than willing, after what I told him happened," Carrie said, her voice barely a whisper, guilt and shame consuming her.  
  
"And Mark?" Nick asked, "How long had you been with him while we were still together?"  
  
Carrie sighed. "I'd been with Mark for about a month or two. We met at some bar one night when you and I had a fight, and one thing led to another, and. . ."  
  
"I get it," Nick replied, his voice void of any emotion. "So I'm guessing that Lexi is-" Nick let his sentence trail, not wanting to say the words aloud.  
  
Carrie nodded. "Yeah. A few weeks after you left Dallas, I found out that I was pregnant. At first I thought it was yours, but when the doctor told me when the baby was conceived, I knew it was Mark's. It was the weekend you were at that convention." She looked at Nick to gauge his reaction, and at his blank stare she continued. "I told Mark, and he freaked. He didn't want a baby to tie him down, so he left me."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
Carrie took a deep breath. "I told my dad that I was pregnant, and that it was your baby," she said, "He said I should talk to you, and I-I told him I had. I told him you said you didn't want anything to do with me or the baby," Carrie continued in a whisper. "I figured I had already made you out to be such a jerk, so one more lie wouldn't hurt. I was just too afraid to face you."  
  
"You know, Carrie, you could have told me," Nick said, "I would have understood. I might not have forgiven you right away, but I would have been there for you. I loved you."  
  
"I know you would have. I realize that now." She looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly on her lap. "You know, it's funny," she continued with a cold laugh, "I went through this whole charade because I was afraid of a commitment, but then I had a baby. The biggest commitment of all."  
  
The room was silent when Lexi bounded once again into the room, a Snickers bar in hand. "I got your favorite, Mommy," the blonde girl said, handing her mother the chocolate.  
  
"Thanks, sweetie," Carrie said, taking the bar and kissing her daughter's forehead.  
  
Nick's eyes were focused on Carrie's, and Carrie's on Nick's, and Sara knew that there were things that still needed to be said.  
  
"Uh, Lexi, I think your mom needs her rest. Why don't we head downstairs to the car?"  
  
"But I want to stay with Mommy!" she whined.  
  
"Sweetie, Mommy's really tired," Carrie explained. "But I'm sure that Daddy and Sara will bring you back later."  
  
"That's right, shortcake," Nick said, "We'll come back tonight."  
  
Lexi pouted but complied. She gave Carrie and Katie each a hug and promised to see them later. Taking Sara's outstretched hand, she headed toward the door, pausing when she saw that Nick wasn't following. "Aren't you coming, Daddy?"  
  
"I'll be down in a few minutes, Lex," Nick said, and Lexi nodded, following Sara out the door and through the hallway to the elevator.  
  
"Uh, Carrie?" Katie said, "I think I'm going to go, too. I'll be back later with everything." She gave her friend a hug and turned to Nick. "I, uh, well. Bye Nick."   
  
Nick nodded as Katie left the room. He rose from the chair and ran his hand across his face. "I just need to know one more thing: After all these years, why did you come to me?"  
  
"You're a good man, Nick. I know that. I always have. And I knew that my daughter would be in good hands if she was with you. And I know that I should have told you the truth in the first place, but I guess I thought you wouldn't want responsibility for her if you knew she wasn't your daughter," Carrie explained.  
  
Nick took a deep breath. "And what if Mark comes back one day and wants custody of Lexi? I don't want her to have to go through something like that."  
  
Carrie's eyes dropped to a spot on the floor, and she answered Nick without looking at him. "That won't happen," she said softly. "Mark got pretty heavy into drugs right after we broke up. He O.D'ed two years ago."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. He was a bastard anyway," Carrie said, forcing a smile to her lips.  
  
"Look, um, this is a lot for me to digest, so I'm gonna go," Nick said, turning for the door, "We'll, um, bring Lexi by later."  
  
"Nick?" Carrie said, stopping him at the door.  
  
He turned around to face her, one hand on the doorframe. "Yeah?"  
  
"I just," she began, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything." Her gaze fell to the floor as she fiddled with the edge of the hospital blanket.  
  
"I loved you so much, you know," Nick confessed, looking at the frail, weak woman before him. The woman who at one point had been his entire life. "But I guess you didn't feel the same way." Nick stared at her for a moment, waiting for a response that didn't come. He turned and walked out the door, leaving her alone in the room.  
  
"I do love you," Carrie said in a whisper after he had left, "I never stopped."  
  
Nick heard her words as he stepped into the hallway, and they caught him off-guard. He paused for a moment, before shaking his head slightly and heading towards the elevator. Heading home. Home to Sara.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ Sorry if that chapter was too boring or confusing. Hopefully all questions in this story have now been answered! If there's anything that I forgot to mention in this chapter, please let me know and I'll put it into the next chapter. Please review!!  
  
~Emily 


	21. Heaven

Nick and Sara sat in the hard orange chairs in the hospital waiting area, Lexi between them. It seemed like they had just left, and here they were again, waiting to see Carrie.  
  
When they had arrived at home, they had finished cleaning up from the party and had reheated the leftover burgers for dinner. Catherine and Lindsey had come by, and Catherine had let Nick and Sara know that Grissom had given them they night off, in addition to any other days they needed to be with Carrie and Lexi. Both Nick and Sara were grateful. With all the chaos, they hadn't even realized what time it was, and the thought of going into work hadn't crossed their mind.  
  
After they had eaten and fed Simba, they headed back to the hospital. Dr. Williams had insisted that Carrie needed her rest, but he promised to let them know when she woke up.  
  
"Daddy, when can we see Mommy?" Lexi asked for what seemed like the hundredth time since they had been there.  
  
"I don't know, shortcake," he said, squeezing her hand reassuringly, "Soon."  
  
"Are you hungry?" Sara asked, hoping to distract the young girl. "We could get some ice cream or something from the cafeteria."  
  
Lexi shook her head. "I don't think so. I just want to see my mommy."  
  
Sara looked at Nick and sighed, and he shrugged. Thankfully Dr. Williams walked up to the threesome, and they knew that they wouldn't have to wait any longer. "You can see her now," he said with a soft smile, and Nick thanked him. The doctor nodded in acknowledgement as they headed toward the elevator.  
  
When they reached Carrie's floor they walked towards her room, and Lexi rushed towards her mother's bed, wrapping her tiny arms around her tightly.  
  
"Hey, sweetie," Carrie said, kissing her daughter's forehead.  
  
"Hi, Mommy," she replied.  
  
"We're gonna give you two some time alone," Nick said, "Lexi, we'll be right down the hall if you need us." Both Carrie and Lexi nodded as the couple left the room, and Lexi climbed onto the bed, snuggling up against her mother.  
  
"Mommy, can I stay with you tonight?" she asked.  
  
Carrie bit her lip, wanting to say yes, but knowing that it was impossible. "Sweetie, you know you can't do that."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's just the rules," Carrie replied sadly. "But you know what you can do? See that box on the table over there?" Lexi turned and looked at the box. "Why don't you bring that over here?"  
  
Lexi hopped off the bed and walked towards the table, picking up the box wrapped in gold and silver paper. "Is this for me?"  
  
"Yup," Carrie said with a smile as Lexi climbed back onto the bed, "Open it."  
  
Lexi carefully tore the paper off to reveal a pink and lavender photo box. She removed the top and placed it on the edge of the bed. Inside were several other wrapped gifts, along with a small scrapbook.  
  
Lexi picked up the scrapbook first, and smiled when she saw her baby picture on the cover. "That's your baby book," Carrie explained, opening it to the first page, "I started that the day you were born, and it has all your firsts. Your first haircut, your first steps, your first word.." She said, letting her sentence trail.  
  
"What was my first word?"  
  
Carrie laughed. "Nala. That's why you named your doll. When you were a baby you couldn't get enough of "The Lion King", and you walked around the house with the movie case all day until finally I put it on. And then when you learned 'Nala', people thought it was just baby talk, but I knew that you knew what you were saying. You would hold the movie case right up in my face, like this," she said, holding the scrapbook up to her daughter's nose and making her giggle, "And say 'Nala! Nala!"  
  
"I guess it's good that my dog's name is Simba, right?" Lexi said with a laugh, "Now they can be friends."  
  
"Right," Carrie said, a smile playing across her lips.  
  
Lexi smile as she flipped through the rest of the pages. "What's this?" she asked, pointing to a small square of yellow fabric glued to one of the pages.  
  
"That was your security blanket. You carried that around all the time. That and Nala. But one day it ripped, and we had to throw it away. You were so upset, so we glued this piece into the book. You were only three. I don't expect you to remember," Carrie said, running her fingers over the fleecy material.  
  
"I think I remember that," Lexi admitted, "Sort of." Carrie smiled and tucked a piece of blonde hair behind Lexi's ear. "Can I open the other presents?"  
  
"Sure," Carrie said, closing the book and setting it to the side.  
  
Lexi grabbed one of the wrapped presents and tore into the paper, revealing a photo album. On the cover was the picture of Lexi's sixth birthday at the park that Carrie so much adored.  
  
"Those are all pictures of you and me," Carrie explained. "From the time you were born until now. There are some of us and Poppy, too."  
  
Lexi flipped through the pages as Carrie explained what each one was. "That's your first birthday," she said, recalling each memory, "And that one's at the zoo, and that one at our vacation at the beach."  
  
Lexi smiled and put the album aside as she ripped the paper off another package. Inside was a white picture frame, the words "Me and My Poppy" written along the bottom. "That's a picture of you, me, and Poppy when you were three months old," Carrie explained as Lexi admired the picture.  
  
Lexi grabbed a final gift, this one a long, rectangular box. She tore off the paper, exposing a black velvet case. Lexi snapped it open and a gold heart locket encrusted with tiny diamonds fell into her hand. She held it by the chain, admiring its beauty.  
  
"That one's the most special gift of all," Carrie said, tears springing to her eyes as she ran her fingers over the golden heart.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"That belonged to my mother, and she gave it to me when I was fourteen. A year before." Her voice choked with emotion and she took a breath before continuing. "A year before she went to heaven. I think you should have it." Carrie took the necklace from Lexi's hands and opened the clasp, putting it around her daughter's neck.  
  
Lexi held the locket part of the necklace out so she could look at it, and she ran her fingers over it lovingly. When she turned to look at her mother, tears were pooling in her large brown eyes.  
  
"When you go to heaven, are you going to see your mom again?" she asked softly, on hand still holding onto the locket.  
  
Carrie felt a single tear make its way down her cheek as she nodded. "Yeah, sweetie, I will."  
  
"Then," she started slowly, "When I go to heaven, I'll see you again?"  
  
Carrie bit her bottom lip to fight off the tears that threatened to spill. "That's right, sweetie. But I hope you don't have to go to heaven for a long, long time." A sob escaped her throat as she wrapped her arms around her daughter, clinging to her tightly.  
  
"I love you, sweetie. I don't want you to forget that, okay?" She whispered into the little girl's hair. "I'll always love you."  
  
"I know," she replied sadly. "I'll always love you, too, Mommy."  
  
Carrie kissed her daughter's forehead as the young girl pulled away.  
  
"Are you scared?" she whispered, her eyes wide as she memorized each feature on her mother's face.  
  
Carrie shook her head. "No. Because I know that some day we'll be together again, just like me and my mom will be together again soon," she replied honestly, tucking a piece of blonde hair behind Lexi's ear. "And until then," she continued, "I know that your daddy and Sara will take good care of you."  
  
Katie had helped Carrie change her will so that Nick and Sara were insured custody of Lexi when she passed, as her legal guardians. Carrie had also made Katie promise to help Nick and Sara legally adopt Lexi.  
  
Lexi wrapped her arms around her mother's waist, and they lay like that for a few minutes, taking in each other's company, trying to make the moment last forever. Sadly it ended all too soon.  
  
Nick popped his head in the doorway and rapped gently on the frame. "Dr. Williams said that we have to go soon," he said regretfully, "So get ready, Lex."  
  
"She'll be out in a minute," Carrie said, and Nick nodded in understanding as he retreated once again to the hallway.  
  
Lexi slowly hopped off the bed and placed each of her gifts back in the box. Placing it carefully on the table, she stood looking at her mother for a moment. Finally the tears escaped from her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around Carrie one final time.  
  
"This might be the last time I see you, won't it?" she whispered, her voice shaky as the emotion pooled from her eyes.  
  
Carrie gripped her daughter tightly, and could only nod. "Maybe," she was finally able to make out.  
  
"I love you, Mommy."  
  
"I love you, too. My little Alexandra Diana." She choked the words out, struggling to keep her composure for the young girl's sake. "Such a big name for such a little girl."  
  
"Bye, Mommy," she said, finally pulling away.  
  
"Bye, Lexi," Carrie answered, watching her daughter's form walk slowly out the door, the sobs still racking her body. She saw Nick scoop her up when she reach the hallway, and Sara rubbed her back as they walked towards the elevator and out of Carrie's range of vision.  
  
"I'll see you again soon."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was five o'clock the next morning when Nick received the call. The shrill ringing of the phone pulled him from his slumber and the comfort of Sara's arms.  
  
"Hello?" he groggily answered, glancing at the red lights of the alarm clock and noting the time.  
  
"Mr. Stokes?" a familiar voice said, "This is Dr. Williams." Immediately Nick felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Nick didn't need to hear anymore. He listened to the doctor's condolences and hung up the phone, hanging his head in his hands. Any thoughts of sleep were shattered, and he slipped silently out of the bed and headed down the hallway towards Lexi's room.  
  
At eleven o'clock, after hours of soothing, they had finally been able to get her to fall asleep. Now he stood in her doorway, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, and knew that as soon as she woke up he would have to tell her the heart-wrenching news.  
  
He looked around her room, only scarcely decorated yet, and smiled sadly. Her favorite rag doll was clutched tightly in her hand as she lay under the pink floral bedspread. The walls were covered with framed Disney movie posters, and a large pile of stuffed animals was stacked in one corner of the room. Signs of the innocence of childhood; signs of the carefree life she should be living. Not signs of the death she would be faced with in the morning.  
  
He heard the padded footsteps behind him as Sara walked through the hallway and put a hand next to him, her eyes questioning. He nodded as he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms protectively around her. "She's gone."  
  
They stood there together, holding each other, as they watched the little girl sleep soundly, safe in her bed, dreading the morning, when they would have to break her heart, but knowing that it was inevitable. And Carrie watched this scene from above, knowing that her daughter was in good hands.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ This was a very emotional chapter for me to write. I was crying at one point, although having Sarah McLachlan singing "I Will Remember You" in the background probably didn't help any. lol Next chapter is the epilogue, and then *sniffle, sniffle*, the story is over! So please review, and you'll find out how it ends!!  
  
~Emily 


	22. Epilogue

Disclaimer: If I owned CSI, you wouldn't be reading this story. This would have been made into a made-for-TV movie, with Dakota Fanning as Lexi and Gwyneth Paltrow as Carrie. So no, I do not own CSI.  
  
Author's Note: Alas, this is the final chapter. ::wipes away tear:: But all good things must come to an end. But, before you read the epilogue, I have to thank everyone who reviewed this story. You guys are amazing. Absolutely amazing. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for your continued support and encouragement for this story. With 200+ reviews and not a single flame, you guys are unbelievable. So, I have to thank each and every one of you. The following people have reviewed this story so far, and I want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your kind words are what brought me this far: drvvh Pagan CSIRMT MissyJane Angelic Little Devil Sylphide Kiki Desirae anarchistgirl Hyperchick88 Moose Erin CSIaddict Stoked Andorian Ice Princess Jhfortier Emily spikeswench nr Katie Joey-Sidle Lucila Penteado Lunardi Melindotty Frankie the Wonder Wiener Dog boscolvr Rya Maire Kayrah Amanda@s csi_crazy1 asd Emmy i love johnny *hee hee Meee Neoenergy Loco Sara Sidle Stokes Oceanwave A Bloom undacoveragent9 FREAK!! Aroseisarose Kelly Crazi River Lynn M Karlei Shaynner cRaZyPiXiE Candace Adpi24 SisterBear milo-n-vaughn candaceFABULOUS padfoot1979 PeTiTeCaT OOoOo ScuzMoll csifan2000 EmmyMik Prue Halliwell-Trudeau CSI_Sammie Jnp Jorja Fox Stokes-CSI3 Dolly Spikes-storm Hockey Gurl Elle9 Lu Delgado Miss.Mary-J Maura Tierney Prillygirl Nepeace BRi Trubee ERbaybe Lisa Alex mistress squirrel Pendray Me_a Franny2  
  
If I left anyone out, or said anyone's name twice, I sincerely apologize. You guys are the absolute best.  
  
And so, without further adieu, the conclusion. Please read and review.  
  
~Emily  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The ground was soft from the previous night's rain as the funeral procession made their way across the green field to Carrie's gravesite. The solemn expression of the minister was reflected on the faces of everyone present. Nick, Sara, and Lexi, had flown to Dallas, where Carrie was going to be buried, along with the entire nightshift team, who felt it was the least they could do to pay their respects. Katie had returned to Texas, as had Lori Donavan and Krista, who were also present.  
  
The minister said a final prayer for Carrie, and Lexi placed a single lily on top of her mother's coffin as it was lowered into the cool ground. She held tightly to the locket around her neck, never taking her eyes off the casket as it disappeared into the earth, until finally Sara took her hand and led her away so she wouldn't see as her mother's grave was filled in.  
  
Nick, however, was rooted to the spot. He watched as shovel after shovel deposited earth on top of the casket and filled the hole. The air was chilly, but the sun beat down on his back, causing a comforting heat to radiate through his body. Memories of all the good times, as well as the bad, flooded his mind, and he wiped away a stray tear with his thumb.  
  
He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Grissom's footsteps as the older man approached him, stopping behind him and clasping his hands together respectively.  
  
"I'm sorry, Nick," he said, unsure of how to proceed. Nick nodded and the two men stood in silence, gazing at the rapidly filling hole.  
  
"How did this happen?" Nick asked, his voice barely a whisper. "How did any of this happen? It's-it's inexplicable. It's unreal."  
  
"I don't know, Nick."  
  
"Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up, and this whole thing is going to just be some kind of a dream, ya know?" Nick continued, not taking his eyes off the grave. "Like none of it happened. Because sometimes it's all just so overwhelming."  
  
Grissom sighed and took a step forward. "It's the classic tale of life and death," he said philosophically, "One part of your life died, and in came a new, wonderful burst of life. Lexi."  
  
"'To everything there is a season'," Nick quoted sadly.  
  
"A time to be born and a time to die," Grissom continued, "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." He grew silent and Nick looked at him curiously.  
  
"I thought you gave up on religion?" he questioned.  
  
"Some things you don't forget," Grissom replied, turning and joining the rest of the team at the far end of the cemetery.  
  
Sara and Lexi walked towards Nick, and Sara put a concerned hand on his shoulder. "You ready?" she asked softly.  
  
"Yeah," he replied, giving Carrie's grave one final look. "Let's go." He took Lexi's outstretched hand, and Sara took the other. They walked through the hilly cemetery together, hand in hand. As a family.  
  
THE END  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N~ And so ends the saga. It's been almost a year, and I hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Perhaps a sequel will be in the future. Depends on what you guys want. And don't think that just because this is the last chapter that you get off reviewing! Hit that little purple button down there and let me know what you thought of this story as a whole.  
  
~Emily 


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